Transmutation
by springfieldbluebird
Summary: Hera knows her new crew member has a secret. Kanan doesn't know how to tell Hera the story of his past, or whether he should say anything at all. Running has been his coping mechanism, until now. This story also details how the Ghost crew got together. Rated T just to be sure.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: All standard disclaimers apply. On a more personal note, this is just a little scene (one of two) that might turn into a story beginning. If not, maybe it functions well as a one/two shot. (not even sure two-shot is a thing...LOL). In other words, I'm making no promises. I got the idea by wondering how Kanan would tell Hera about his past as a Jedi and what her reaction would be. I know there's a comic book that has a little of this in it, but I have not read it yet, so this is just something out of my head. Call it AU if you want...or whatever. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe I'll get a review or two and post the next part...Maybe there's a full fledged story in here somewhere.  
**

Transmute: verb-to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature and especially change to a higher form. Also, the supposed conversion of base metals into metals of greater value, especially into gold or silver.

* * *

"Transmutation"

1.

"I thought we were done for sure." Kanan shook his head as he handed Hera a glass with a green liquid in it. They'd landed on Etti IV a few hours ago, spent time going over the _Ghost_ for damage after the firefight, and now it was time to celebrate still being alive, no small victory for them after drawing the attention of the Empire.

"Five TIEs in all. We're going to have to start painting them on the hull." Hera gave him a smile as she examined the drink he'd handed her. "Ok, this looks like..."

"Twi'lek liquor. I know the good stuff. I wasn't a bartender for nothing, you know. Picked this up on our last supply run."

She let the flavor of the liquor roll around on her tongue, knowing she should drink it slowly; it was notoriously strong. And this **was** the good stuff; it went down smoothly. As they sat in the small galley area of the Ghost, she remembered the first time she'd seen him. He'd begun to shed that fast-talking, lone-wolf persona and had become something entirely different, especially when they were alone together. Oh he could still find that attitude when he needed to pull it on like a favorite coat, but now...she could sense he was letting down his guard with her. Hera was a people watcher, and always had been; she'd noticed quickly that there was another side to this gunslinger from Gorse.

"A crack shot AND expert bartender. Hmmm…." She looked up at him teasingly. He was watching her intently, but when he saw her eyes on him, he looked away, almost shyly. Now that was new. She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I am a man of many talents." Kanan felt suddenly self-conscious under her luminous gaze and threw back the rest of the violent green liquor in his glass. It went down too easily, and he reminded himself not to say anything that...well...that he would normally say to a woman when he'd been drinking. Back before he knew her well, it had been simple to let his mouth do the talking while his brain was on autopilot, but the longer he remained with Hera, now as a member of the crew, the more he respected her and valued their relationship. She was not one of the normal vacuous twenty-year olds that he had bedded in his past. In fact, even thinking about his past conquests and Hera in the same moment, felt wrong. It caused him to blush deeply and he tried to hide it, but was unsuccessful.

"Ok, spill it," she said.

"What?" He played dumb, but knew she could see right through it.

"Whatever made you turn that nice shade of red." She held out her glass for more and he refilled it. "Spill."

"Yeah...uh...not gonna happen." He refilled his own glass. "I thought we were going to plan our next hit on the Empire." Distraction. Yeah that was good. He could always distract her with the Empire.

"Ok." She had decided to play along. "What do you have in mind?" It was amusing to catch him eyeing her for a change. The first few weeks they'd been on the ship together, she'd brushed off all the cheesy pick up lines until he'd run through his stock at least twice and finally given up. When she began to see the man under all the disguise, she'd begun to look at him more closely.

And he was such an eyeful. He was just so kriffing attractive, and seemingly unaware of it at certain times. He knew he wasn't hard on the eyes—Kanan had confidence—but stars above! She'd almost fell down one time when she caught him coming out of the 'fresher after a shower, his shirt off, brown hair down and slightly damp, and wearing only a pair of sleep pants. And he'd not even noticed her flustered expression. Yeah, getting used to living with Kanan Jarrus was turning out to be quite an experience. Was there attraction there? Yes. Most definitely. Did they both feel it? She was pretty sure he did as well as she. However she was determined not to be another one of his conquests. That was definitely certain—so their relationship was mostly a work one so far.

And they worked very well together. It was good to have another hand around, and another being to talk to. Chopper was great, but his companionship only went so far. Kanan was quick-witted and extremely intelligent. He knew his way around a ship and was a hard worker. And he was just about the most fearless person she'd ever known. Five TIES had not daunted him the least amount; with a smile, she'd listened to his howls of triumph from the top gun turret each time he destroyed one of the enemy fighters.

"What do I have in mind? Hey, I'm just the crew, Cap'n." He gave her a mock salute. "You just tell me where to go and I'll fly us there."

"Not so fast, hot-shot. **I'll** fly us there. My ship, remember?" She raised an eyebrow playfully. "Hmmm...what about checking out Raxus Prime? I have a contact there that might have a little work for us while we're planning our next hit on the Empire. I want our next exploit to be big. We need to hit the 'net this time." She nodded toward the holonet; the news was playing silently, showing the ever-present "Enemies of the Empire."

"I'm up for that-" Suddenly Kanan trailed off, and sat straight up with his eyes focused on the broadcast. A very old male human, dressed in heavy furs, was being arrested by a squad of stormtroopers. The background showed them to be on an ice planet. The grainy footage showed Hera what had attracted Kanan's gaze. A trooper was carrying a lightsaber that he'd taken from the old Jedi. She turned up the volume quickly.

"...Sources say the Jedi traitor, most certainly part of the rebellion, had been hiding on Toola for years. After capture, he was summarily executed for his crimes against the Empire." There was footage of the execution, which was swift. When the blasters fired, Kanan's face hardened, but he didn't look away.

Hera snapped off the holonet as soon as the story was over, wishing she'd turned it off before they'd viewed the last scene. Kanan downed the rest of his glass and reached for the bottle, saying nothing. He refilled his glass twice and emptied it, a bitter expression on his features that he was trying to hide. She could feel the change in him—the sadness and anger coming off of him in palpable waves.

"Are you okay?" She ventured after a few moments, careful of pushing too hard. In all the months they'd been together, she'd stepped gingerly around the mystery of his past. Not even on the night on Lothal when they'd finished up a mission by stealing fifteen boxes of power converters from the Empire. Afterward, at their next stop, he'd disappeared for six hours.

That whole day he had been on edge; although he was unwilling to admit anything was wrong. He'd returned late that night, so drunk that she didn't know how he had gotten himself back to the _Ghost_ in the spaceport. She'd had to actually guide him to the bed and force him to lay down. He had muttered a lot; some of the words she'd picked up were "Kaller," "Master Billaba" and "kriffing anniversaries." She hadn't asked him the next day about it—sensing that she'd been privy to something that he would never have shared if he'd been in his right state of mind. Truthfully, she thought if she were to pry, that he might take off; just as he'd been about to do on Gorse. No. The best policy, she'd thought at the time, was to let him take his time...if he wanted to open up to her, he would. But now, she wondered. Keeping this secret, whether it was about being a Jedi or something else that she couldn't imagine, seemed to be causing him pain. "Kanan, are you alright?" She murmured again when he didn't answer.

"Sure." He avoided her gaze. "I'm fine." He downed another shot of the Twi'lek spirit too fast for Hera's liking. It was the best way to deaden the pain of the past, dulling the feelings that he didn't dare let show.

"Was it the news story?" She knew it was, and this time she dared to push a little too hard, even though everything told her not to. "Did you know that Jedi?"

"No." He stood up and went into the galley area, then came back. The nervous energy in him was spilling over and showing itself in his darting eyes. "Uh...I don't think I'm gonna be good company tonight." He said abruptly, looking around like a trapped animal and refusing to meet her gaze. Should he tell her? About everything? He felt a rising sense of panic as memories of his past welled up inside of him. For a minute he actually couldn't move, feeling pulled to stay, to have one person in the galaxy that would understand what he had gone through. He also felt pushed to go, to protect her from a truth that could be dangerous. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest.

"Kanan-" She began. "You don't have to..."

"No." He knew his panic was causing him to act irrationally, but couldn't seem to help himself. She could see his jaw tighten as he finished speaking, as if he were struggling against saying too much. "I'm sorry, I just gotta get out of here. I'll...I'll be back."

He snatched the bottle and headed toward the back hatch, leaving her in stunned silence. Something was very wrong, she knew. It had to do with all the puzzle pieces she'd begun fitting into place when she'd first met him. From their adventure on Gorse, she knew he had Force-abilities. He had no family, no long-term friends and no home. For goodness sake, everything he owned fit in one bag. They'd been traveling around for a few months and he'd remained as tightly closed as an airlock about any personal information except the most general and basic kind. Was he a Jedi? It had been fifteen years since Order 66-the murder of almost every last Jedi in the galaxy...Kanan would only have been a teenager back then. She turned her head and stared after him. What had happened to him before she met him? She was trying to be patient, but it was hard when this secret of his was tearing him apart.

She found herself wondering if she should follow him, but quickly discarded the idea. He could handle himself, and would likely look negatively upon her following him around as if he couldn't. But they were going to have to have a talk when he returned.

The twi'lek headed for her quarters, unable to shake the panicked look she'd seen on his face. He'd apologized, showing he obviously cared about what they were doing here, and didn't want to damage their relationship. It made her feel better, to an extent. But they were going to have a talk. "You big nerfherder." She muttered as she tugged off her boots and shed her flight suit. Crawling into bed, she remembered to com Chopper.

"Hey, Chop. Wake me early if our AWOL first mate doesn't show up by sunrise." She waited for his affirmative chatter before she snapped off the light, but it was still a long time before she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

 **A/N: First of all, picking planet names is hard. So many planets, so little time to read about them all.** **Since I didn't read a lot of the "novels" of the Star Wars universe, I must admit I am lacking in planetary knowledge. All effort was taken to make sure that things were accurate and feasible, but if you find something wrong, I apologize in advance. (I have the Star Wars Atlas on order as I speak!)**

 **Later in the story, the holocron's words are taken, in part, from Gandhi. Look for the star if you're interested. I hope you enjoyed this. I wrote it five different ways, but finally settled on this one, lucky number six. Working hard for you, my friends, is what I do. :)**

* * *

The talk Hera intended had to be put off. About first light, the com squawked and Chopper, who had been monitoring communications throughout the night, alerted her that there was increased Imperial chatter in their area. Apparently they'd drawn more attention than she'd first thought, and the Empire, as they usually did, was sniffing around for them.

She was still in her sleepwear when she slid into the pilot's seat and began setting the controls for takeoff, saying a silent prayer that Kanan was in the craft and not passed out in some dive somewhere. She commed him: "Kanan, wake up. Hangover or not, I need you on the guns NOW, in case we have to shoot our way out!"

His answer was surprisingly immediate. "Got it." In only a few seconds, she could hear him quickly making his way up to the turret.

"The heat's on, so we gotta slip out of here. I'm switching the Ghost's signature." It was one of the things that allowed them to get in and out of so many different places without drawing notice by appearing to be one ship coming in and another one going out. Hera had a contact that provided valid ship identities on a rotating basis, so she could continue to evade the Imperials, and this time it worked just as it always did.

The freighter _Pinnacle_ ascended into the atmosphere, received clearance to leave and Hera made the jump to hyperspace with a relieved sigh. By the time they reached their destination, they would be the _Wanderer_ and probably far enough away from the scene of their earlier battle with the TIEs to breathe easy.

She let out a sigh, looking over at Chopper who warbled at her while shaking back and forth on his struts. "Yeah, I'm surprised we made it too."

Kanan came into the cockpit, looking worse for wear.

"Glad you made it back, love. I would have hated to have to leave you on that rock." She raised an eyebrow at him as she swiveled her chair toward him.

"Someone wasn't happy about those TIE's, huh?" Kanan smirked, slumping the seat beside her. His hair was a loose mess, and it was obvious he'd fallen asleep in his clothes, minus his combat armor. She watched as he scrubbed at his face with one of his hands, then kneaded his forehead with his fingers. It looked like it had been another bad night. Not a good sign.

"You ok?"

He groaned and shook his head, eyes still closed. "I'll live." There was a long silence, then his blue-green eyes opened and focused on a spot across the room, not looking at her. "Hera. I know you've got questions." He'd intended on spinning some sort of story about how the old Jedi reminded him of his uncle who had been murdered by the Empire. It was a story that should have come easily for a thief and smuggler like himself, but the lie turned sour in his mouth and he found it impossible to talk.

"It's not that I wanted to pry. I just—Kanan, that look on your face last night—I just want to help."

He glanced over at her, seeing nothing but concern in her green eyes. _Damn._ He ran a hand through his hair, the old nervous habit hard to break. "Can you just give me some time?" he asked slowly. He needed time to think about the consequences of sharing his past. Time to remember what it was like to have a friend like Hera. Time to get used to someone caring, really caring, for him. He could hardly believe he was worth caring for, but she seemed to be concerned for him and it stirred something in his heart he'd thought long dead. Telling her wasn't a matter of trust; it would be dangerous for her. He knew Hera enough to be sure that she wouldn't betray him to the Empire, not willingly. But his knowing his secret could put her at risk and, while she wouldn't mind the hazard, he hated the thought of it. "I...I've got a lot to think about."

She nodded wordlessly, sensing his emotions settle as he sighed in relief and got up to go. "No questions, but Kanan, you've gotta running sometime," she murmured, watching his back as he paused.

"I know." He said softly. "I know that now." After a second's hesitation, he headed back towards his quarters as she watched him go.

* * *

The next few weeks were busy. Between four smuggling jobs, finding places to refuel, and hide out, they were on the move—not much time for rest or reflection. Hera had gone out to meet with one of her contacts who was carrying a message from _Fulcrum_ , who had a job for them. Kanan had joked that she had a contact on every planet, and she'd responded that everyone had secrets with a pointed raise of her eyebrow. Since they had accumulated some credits from their work, supplying the Ghost wasn't going to be a problem for a while and they could focus on what Hera really wanted to do: being a thorn in the Empire's side. That had suited Kanan just fine.

He had tried to go with her to the meeting, but the twi'lek had insisted he stay with the Ghost. First of all, her contact was used to her alone and anyone else would elicit suspicion. Secondly, she wanted Kanan to keep an eye on her ship. It might be nothing, but she felt uneasy in the spaceport for some reason. Maybe too many Imperials, maybe too many shifty types eyeballing them as they registered the ship with the local authorities at the port office, but Hera was not the type to ignore her instincts.

She pulled her cloak up over her lekku to disguise herself as she made her way back to the ship. It never hurt to be too careful in case she'd picked up a tail from the meeting. Her operative had told her they were to go to Lianna and pick up a shipment of supplies for the beginnings of a rebel cell on Talus. Sometimes she wondered how Fulcrum did it. Her contact seemed to sit at the center of a great web, moving people and supplies around, following a bigger picture that Hera had only glimpsed a small part of. It would be overwhelming to run something like that, but she realized that somehow Fulcrum kept it all going, each pocket of the resistance working to further the larger aim.

She shifted the food she'd gotten for herself and Kanan to her other hand as she entered the bay that contained the _Ghost._ They had eaten far too many ration packs lately so she had picked up one of Kanan's favorites, fodu with green fire sauce. For herself, she had mynock cloud city. Both of them loved spicy foods and after asking around, she'd found a restaurant that served both. She felt bad for refusing to allow him to go with her, and the food would be an apology of sorts.

Chopper was monitoring the area and he let down the loading ramp for her. She made her way to the galley as the ramp closed behind her.

"I brought food. Real food," she called out as she came up from the back. There was no answer. She rounded the corner. "Kanan, come and get something to eat..." and she froze instantly.

The door to Kanan's room was open, but that wasn't unusual in itself. She saw him sitting on the floor, in a meditative-type pose, his back straight and eyes closed. She was struck by his manner; he had seemed to take on an aura of nobility and strength that he didn't normally project.

Her eyes absorbed other details. The room was awash in pale blue light coming from a floating squarish-shaped object. Tiny pieces of the object orbited it, as if it had come apart while floating.

Above the object was the holographic figure of a woman. She was beautiful and tall, with her dark hair caught up in braids. "...it does occur." She was saying. "When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love, the light side of the Force, have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they do fall. Think of it always, Caleb. Be comforted by the Force." (* )

Hera's breath caught in her throat. She didn't want to disturb him, but was so stunned she couldn't move; she could barely breathe. What was this she was seeing?

"It is hard to let go of the fear and anger I still feel," Kanan murmured, his voice that of a sleep-talker. "Sometimes it overwhelms me."

The beautiful woman smiled in the hologram. "It happens to all. As I was instructed by Master Windu, so I instruct you. Be mindful about your feelings, my young strategist. Fear, anger, aggression... to the dark side they lead, and the dark side leads to destruction. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering. Suffering for yourself and those close to you. A Jedi's path is different. There is no fear, only the Force. Release your emotions to it and be free from them, my padawan."

Hera finally took the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. When she did, Kanan's eyes opened, shining an unfamiliar blue in the hologram's reflection.

"Oh kriff," she murmured, shifting her own eyes and face away respectfully. "Kanan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." She turned abruptly and flew into the kitchen. Her heart was pounding as she placed the food on the counter and lowered her head, trying to process what she shouldn't have seen.

"Hera." His voice from behind her. It was soft and gentle, not full of anger as she suspected it might be after realizing what she'd seen. She'd promised not to pry anymore, and then he was going to think that she'd been eavesdropping on purpose.

She took another shaky breath, lifted her head and turned around.

That strange mantle of nobility still hung about him. She scanned his face, looking for anger, panic or fear, but found nothing but his calm manner. "Hera, it's okay," he began softly.

"Oh no. No, it's not." She held up her hands, gesturing a negative. "I didn't mean to see...uh...see that. I was just bringing dinner, and I came in and heard a voice and … Force above! You're a Jedi...aren't you? I mean were a Jedi….um…." she trailed off, not sure what to say, and positive she sounded perfectly idiotic. It wasn't like she hadn't had suspicions, but...knowing was different than suspecting.

Kanan took her gesturing hands gently and brought them down. "Take it easy, Hera. It's still me."

He met her gaze for a moment, then his attention was pulled away. He took a deep breath, a big smile breaking out on his features. "Is that fodu I smell?"

"I know it's your favorite. I was bringing it to you."

"Let's eat first. If I have to see another protein bar, I'm going to go base delta zero." He eagerly grabbed the bag of take out, heading to the table. "Then, I think we need to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

3

 **A/N: Hi everybody! I hope you enjoy this chapter ("the talk") as much as I enjoyed writing it. It came straight from the mouth of the muse to my ear. Although I did give it the same loving care as the last chapter, I didn't have to go through six rewrites (To quote C3PO: "Thank the maker!")**

 **Please drop me a comment if you liked it. I am contemplating whether this is a good place to end or there are more changes in store for our favorite Jedi. Hmmm….I can see it going either way.**

* * *

Kanan was glad they had eaten first before he started talking because once he did, Hera was totally engrossed. He described how he had grown up in the Jedi temple on Coruscant; how he'd gone to school, and studied many different subjects and languages. In the temple, he'd also learned how to fight, how to negotiate, how to fly ships and a myriad of other skills—all of those that had helped him survive when he'd been on his own.

"The woman in the hologram," she asked, "was she your Jedi Master?"

"Yes. Master Billaba. The holocron belonged to her," he responded. As he spoke, memories seemed to bombard him and he had trouble focusing on what he was saying. He paused and pulled himself back from that crevasse, then continued. "When a padawan was accepted by a Master, they would train, go on missions, and learn lessons in the field. My master, Depa Billaba, was on the Jedi council. She was a great warrior and teacher. She taught me a great deal."

Hera was perceptive enough to realize he was struggling when speaking about her. "You were close." Hera observed gently. She could sense the sadness in him and wondered if he'd lost his master during the Empire's murder of the Jedi. It was certain that he had, but she hoped otherwise. She understood why he'd kept this secret so close to him. Jedi like the man on the holocast the other night were hunted, and certainly the bounty on even a Padawan was enough to make most turn him in without thinking twice.

"Yeah. We were close," he agreed. "The Force creates a bond between a padawan and master. It's..." The emotions overwhelmed him again and he stopped speaking to regain his composure. He'd not known that telling this story would be quite so painful, and it wasn't one of the things he'd considered when he had decided to share it with Hera. When he spoke next, his voice shook.

"When she died, I knew. I felt it. We were on a mission and just like that, the troopers turned on us. Order 66. We...we fought them off as long as...as long as..." He inclined his head and closed his eyes and battled the emotional tide of memory.

Hera couldn't stand to see him in such pain, but she sensed that his story had everything to do with the struggle he was having. "You don't have to..."

He didn't hear her. All of a sudden, he was transported back to the devastation of that black day—the sights, the sounds, the smells. The scent of dust and blood. The cold fear of realizing the murderous intentions in his comrades' eyes. The feeling of emptiness when his Master was gone, ripped away from him by death. The severing of the bond had been immediate and painful. It was hard to breathe and he couldn't see through the blinding tears that he attempted to blink away. He sat, his head bowed and face hidden as he fought the deluge of emotions.

Hera watched him a moment, with a sense of the terrible pain that raged within him. The abrupt way he had stopped speaking said it all. This was it. This was the horrible thing he'd been wrestling with.

"She died to save me." He admitted finally, self-hatred lacing his voice. "Me." It was as if he stood on a surface of shifting sand. The peace he'd thought he'd found by consulting the holocron had eroded and been replaced with the feelings of grief and guilt he'd been running from for so long. He realized he hadn't banished them, just buried them. Like restless corpses, they surfaced.

"Kanan..." Hera tried again.

"No." He firmly shook his head, refusing to stop now. She held her breath as he blinked furiously, then tears finally fell. "Master Billaba told me to run...said she'd be behind me, but she lied. She couldn't escape. They shot her down. She did it to s..save me… I could feel it as she died."

"Oh, love." All of a sudden she was there, sliding over in the booth and placing her arms around him. He shuddered in anguish. She had felt sympathy for others before, but this was a pain beyond words. "I'm sorry." She whispered as her own tears fell unchecked into his brown hair.

"I realize now, she died for nothing." He said in a hopelessly empty whisper. His words were muffled against her shoulder, but she heard them. Neither of them knew how long they stayed intertwined, but it was long enough until his grief exhausted itself.

Hera leaned back and tried to catch his gaze. "She wouldn't feel that way. Look at what we've done since we've been together. We've attacked the Empire and made a difference, even though it's small right now..."

"It should have been me." He said wretchedly, standing up as he wiped his face with the heels of his hands. "She would have made a difference." He knew she would be disappointed in him. He'd failed her memory, decided to reject all he'd learned and dishonored the gift she had tried to give him. By now, he thought, he should have moved past it and just accepted the fact that he was a waste and not worth the air he was breathing, but the agony of the facts was as bad as it had ever been. Before Hera could register what he'd said, he was gone, to the front of the ship.

He had run again, but this time not far. She gave him a few minutes, then she made her way to the cockpit. He was in the co-pilot's chair. She paused at the door, making sure he was okay with her following him and whether he would accept her presence.

She didn't say anything, but he could still feel her comforting presence as she finally came close and slid into the pilot's chair. From where they sat, they could glimpse a little sliver of the heavens above them. Tiny chips of crystal sparkled in the night sky, interrupted here and there by the lights of departing and arriving ships from all over the galaxy.

Finally she spoke. "Kanan, you're going to be sorry you told me all of that." Her face was a serious mask as she regarded him. His eyes shot to hers quickly, in alarm, and she broke into a gentle warm smile that she couldn't help. She held up a finger. "This running is over. You run from me, love, and I'll find you no matter where you are...You aren't alone anymore." He relaxed and looked down, a bit embarrassed by her caring enough to say something like that. He wasn't used to it.

"Good." He spoke only that word, almost to himself and barely loud enough to hear, but it was enough for Hera's heart. They sat there a moment, and then she slipped her hand into his, squeezing tightly. He squeezed hers back. The small gesture was enough for Hera to find a little bit of hope.

* * *

 **A/N: Comments, please! :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

4.

 **A/N: Sorry this took a little while. Please review! If you have an idea on anything you might like to see next, I'd be glad to hear suggestions (no promises-though). :) I hope reading this makes you as happy as it made me to write it!**

* * *

"Nice place your friends picked to meet us." Kanan raised an eyebrow as they exited the _Ghost_. They were in a largely abandoned part of the city sprawl, there to meet the smugglers who were supposed to be bringing the supplies for the rebel cell on Talus. Chopper had scanned the area when they had arrived early, and found nothing but a few pitiful lifeforms wandering from place to place. Now, at dark, the bombed city took on a ghastly pallor in the moonlight. Too many shadows. Kanan's hand drifted towards his blaster from time to time, but he kept it holstered for now.

"It's going to be fine." Hera didn't sound so convinced, however. Kanan felt his senses prickle as he looked at the buildings, bombed and damaged during the battle of Lianna. He had fought in the Clone Wars soon after he'd become a padawan, and thinking of that brought up a set of memories that he didn't want to re-experience. He didn't need the distraction, so he shoved them away into a place in his mind and locked the door.

"Too many windows. Too many places for ambush," Kanan muttered. He and Hera unconsciously placed themselves almost back to back as they surveyed the area. More than a decade ago, this definitely had been the 'nice' area of town. Now some of the white marbled buildings were just hollowed out shells where criminals and transients bedded down for the night.

Footsteps on uneven piles of rubble seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere in particular. They tensed, but only one shadow emerged from the darkness in front of them. Kanan and Hera turned to face the man but were soon frozen by the cold press of a blaster in their backs.

"Hands up," the voice behind him said just as Kanan's hand closed around the grip of his own blaster. The former Jedi let it go reluctantly, putting his hands in the air. Before his attacker could take his weapon, Kanan grasped the Force and whirled around, delivering a kick to the aggressor's face almost too quickly to be seen. He followed with several punches at a blinding speed and before Hera could even take a breath, his foe was in a headlock and Kanan's blaster was under the defeated man's chin. He kept his hold on the Force as he watched the two men warily. These were some friends that Fulcrum had, he thought.

"Put it down or I'll shoot her." The other assailant had pressed his blaster to Hera's side and was now glaring at the former Jedi.

"You'll never get the chance," he said in a voice of deadly calm. It would be a cold day on Tatooine before he let two guys like this so much as scratch Hera. "After I kill you, I'll kriffing kill him." He tilted his head in the direction of the shadowy figure who was now closer. There was something in Kanan's manner that actually made Hera's attacker pull her back a little. "So, for your own protection, you're gonna want to take your gun off of my associate, put it down and step back very carefully. I feel a little jumpy and I'd hate to blow his head off by accident."

"Let's all just stop a minute, here." Hera hadn't been prepared for either the attempt to disarm them or Kanan's sudden...whatever that had been. She had seen him fight before during their adventures on Gorse, but this was different—he'd moved with a supernatural speed and grace. Catching his eyes she nodded an okay. "Hey...let him go," she urged. He seemed to understand finally and let the man slip to the ground, but he still kept his blaster trained on its target. She looked at her contact as soon as she was sure Kanan was with her. "You looked like a _ghost_ in the moonlight," she said with a peculiar emphasis on "ghost."

At the sign, the operative that was approaching them waved his hand and the other assailant let Hera go and holstered his blaster. The former padawan lowered his weapon but kept it at the ready; he was still uneasy.

"But the _phoenix_ always lights the way." The countersign was given and acknowledged by a nod of Hera's head. "Didn't know you were bringing company. Fulcrum didn't mention it. Sorry for the confusion."

Kanan took a deep breath, making himself loosen his grip on the Force as he realized the danger **was** gone. He reached down and hauled his attacker back to his feet. The would-be assailant had a spreading bruise on his face and seemed to have a healthy respect for Kanan as he took a few steps back in retreat.

She felt more confident once he'd given the countersign, so she gave an apologetic smile to the older man. "No problem. He's a recent addition to my crew. Do you have the pickup ready?"

He nodded, tapping a com on his wrist. "It's green," he said into it.

Apparently the crates weren't far off. Five speeders appeared carrying three crates each. Kanan checked each one and then helped the drivers load them into the _Ghost's_ cargo area while Hera talked briefly with her contact.

Kanan returned to her side, like a shadow, and stood sentinel over her shoulder as she wrapped up. The operative, the leader of the Hydros rebel cell, cast nervous looks at Kanan the whole time.

When done, they headed back to the _Ghost_. "Well, that went well," she said with a smirk as the contact and his men climbed aboard the speeders and left into the night.

"Yeah." Kanan narrowed his eyes suspiciously, watching their departure.

"No apology to the guy you laid out, I noticed."

"For what?" He raised an eyebrow. "They pulled guns, not us. What are we supposed to do? You wanna play that game, you get what you get." He shrugged, then eyed Hera, realizing how much he'd hated seeing someone with a blaster to her side. That was new; this caring thing was like unfamiliar clothing he wasn't sure how to wear. He'd cared about someone before, but not like this; he hadn't let them get close enough. Hera was something completely different and he didn't have a handle on it yet. That fact was somehow terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

She could feel his intense stare as they reached the cockpit and she slipped into the pilot's chair. "What?"

"Um..." He shook his head, ignoring her look and sliding into the copilot's seat. He fed their coordinates into the navicomputer for the jump to hyperspace.

"Kanan." She colored her words with a warning tone as she navigated out of the planet's atmosphere.

He sighed. "Are you part interrogation droid?"

She smiled at him sweetly at that, as if he'd given her a compliment. "Maybe."

He gave in with a sigh. "I just didn't like seeing that blaster in your side. Maybe I overreacted a little, but I'd rather overreact than one of us or both of us end up dead."

"You used the Force, didn't you?" She raised an eyebrow. This was new. Once again, she had the feeling that he was changing, becoming something more than he had been. It was fascinating to watch.

"Yeah. I didn't plan to...it just..." He raised his hands. "I lost my focus. Being force-sensitive is not something you can just flip the switch on. It's always there, waiting. It's like saying you're not going to use your sense of touch, or your eyes. It's hard to shut it out."

"Are we ready for the jump?" She checked the navigation readouts on the panel.

"Yes." When he answered in the affirmative, she engaged the hyperdrive. When flying together, they'd become used to holding two conversations at once and they made the seamless switch back to their original topic.

"Look." She turned her chair to him as the stars stretched into lines ahead of the ship. ""I like that you had my back out there. I needed you on that op. If something had gone really wrong, we would have been equipped to handle it. You did good." She said softly, searching his blue-green eyes.

He didn't know how to explain what he'd felt when he'd turned and saw her in danger. It had only been one day since they'd discussed his past and he was still overwhelmed by the simple caring she'd shown towards him. There hadn't been one second's thought about protecting her; after all, she'd accepted him and his secret without hesitation. While now he saw that they hadn't been in any real danger, he'd not known that at the time and he'd been prepared to fight it out until the bitter end—win or lose.

"You had _my_ back last night," he said simply. "I'd never let anyone hurt you, Hera."

Hera gave him a smile and motioned to him. He leaned in to her, thinking she was going to tell him something, but she simply leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

He'd been kissed before. Many times, in fact, but never the way she did. And he knew the memory of that first, simple kiss, Hera's kiss, would override and erase all others until the end of days.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

 **A/N: In this chapter, Kanan receives a large nudge from the Force that he doesn't understand and can't accept quite yet. I hope you like it! I edited and edited once again, but now I think it's moving in the right direction. At least I hope so-you will be the judge of that. :) Did I mention that I live for your reviews?  
**

* * *

Kanan worked through the katas, hands guiding his lightsaber, moving it into sweeps and parries, and the occasional attack. He allowed his attention and mind to be immersed in the Force, and he realized how much had been missing in his life without it. Training with Master Billaba had been a time when he could truly surrender to the Force and easily release all his questions and worries into it. It was a time when he was able to truly find peace. Even though she was gone, he could still feel Depa Billaba's memory and hear her words as he worked thorough the katas of form three. Remembering her caused a mixture of emotions; pain and sweetness, sadness and joy, anger and acceptance.

He had begun to realize that he'd basically put off grieving for her. He hadn't had time to mourn her loss because he'd been completely focused on survival in those first days, weeks and months after Order 66. Then he'd run from mourning her because of guilt, using it to build a wall between himself and the world. Not caring meant he could never be hurt again, and it had seemed like a good plan. Until Hera.

He was unsure how to approach his feelings for the beautiful green-skinned Twi'lek. At first, he'd been enamored of her beauty. He'd been attracted to her from the moment he'd heard her velvety voice on Gorse, and he'd unsuccessfully attempted to win her the same way as all of his other conquests. But now, now that he'd seen her bravery, her determination, her intelligence and her caring for him...he was at a loss as how to proceed, sure that he would just make a mess of things.

And should he even try? He was caught between his feelings and what he'd been taught as a Jedi. As he swung his saber through each movement, he thought back to the prohibition of attachments. He had been told that the fear of loss could be a route to the dark side. Did he fear losing Hera? Yes—what had happened on Lianna had made that clear. He would protect her at all costs, even the cost of his own life. His devotion to her was as certain as the elements of the universe, as solid as Mandalorian iron. Just by being there for him, for just listening and providing support, she'd won his absolute loyalty.

That thought led to a mobius of repetition and confusion. How could caring for Hera ever lead to the dark side? It seemed to him that she only led him to become a better version of himself. She brought out a side of him that he'd long thought dead. His life was starting to mean something again. But that could be flawed thinking. The dark side was seductive and he wasn't sure how to find his way through the tangled forest of choices life presented to him. What should he trust in?

He took a deep breath and let his anxiety dissolve into the Force; he began to concentrate on his movements as a meditation and slowly his worry and confusion melted away. Again he thought back to his training. He'd been rusty through the first repetition of form three, but now each movement came back to him perfectly. It was a seamless ebb and flow of motion that became a river on which his consciousness floated.

 _Balance your weight between your left and right feet...straighten your sword arm parallel with the ground. Don't look at your footwork-head up!_ _ **Never**_ _turn your eyes from your enemy._

He could still hear his master's voice in his mind, working him through the movements. It was comforting to lose himself in it.

 _Caleb._

The nudge was so gentle and soft he didn't respond to it initially. It sounded like Master Billaba, but he knew it couldn't be. This was different than remembering her words in his mind. It felt different because it came from somewhere outside him.

 _Caleb_. He dropped his position, eyes wide, and turned with his sword in hand. There was no one in the cargo hold; he was alone with no sound but the drone of the _Ghost's_ engines. He stood completely still and waited.

The third time he heard his name...his old name...he deactivated his lightsaber, closed his eyes and felt for the Force. When he opened himself completely to it, a vision slammed his consciousness and his breath caught in his chest.

He was standing in a dusty street, waiting for a signal from his team when he felt something in the Force and turned to find the source.

Then he was standing next to a dark haired teenager who was holding a strange-looking lightsaber. _Straighten your arm..._ he said as he corrected the student's form, guiding him to the right posture by pushing down on one of his shoulders and adjusting the kid's grip.

The visions began to come faster. He was fighting alongside the same person, his...padawan. A battle raged around them, but they both worked as one to combat the enemy.

Next he was standing on the Ghost's landing platform, looking down at the boy amusedly. "Kid, you got a better option?"

Now the scene changed. He was sitting in the Phantom with the same kid. The boy was sobbing, and Kanan was holding him tightly. The kid's trembling threatened to shake both of them apart. "There's nothing we can do now. It's over. It's over" he murmured. This vision was different-he didn't see the scene so much as feel it and hear it.

"The kid." He mumbled, closing his eyes. The vision had overcome him so completely that he wasn't aware of Hera slowly approaching him.

Hera had been looking for him to tell him the meeting time with their contact. She hadn't known something was wrong at first; he'd simply stood there, eyes looking at something that seemed far away. She'd climbed down the ladder and approached him slowly so she didn't startle him. "Hey, Kanan..." Hera placed a hand on his shoulder and he didn't move.

She walked around him so that they were facing each other. She took his hand in her own; but his hand did not grasp hers back. "Are you okay? Hey, what's wrong?"

Kanan blinked and his eyes were unfocused as he struggled not to lose consciousness. He swayed, then dropped to his knees. A metallic object-a lightsaber clunked as it fell from his hand and hit the floor. "These two..." He muttered. "Yeah, well these two come as a set."

"Ok, you're scaring me big guy. Snap out of it." She knelt beside him and placed a hand on his cheek as searched his eyes, but only saw a faintly wavering consciousness there. She eased him to the ground, sitting him with his back to a crate. "Kanan. Can you hear me?" She bit her bottom lip in worry as she looked at him, not knowing what to do. None of what he was saying was making sense. "Kanan. Please." she breathed, looking for some sign that he heard her.

Finally he blinked several times again and his blue-green eyes began to focus on her. She smiled thankfully. "There you are." She said, her eager eyes searching his own. "Are you okay?"

His head thumped painfully. "Yeah. Someone calling my name...I think...a vision...vision from the Force."

Her eyes widened. "Did this ever happen before...I mean, is this normal?" She asked tentatively.

"I don't know." He replied. The details of his vision were fading like a dream; he could no longer even recall the face of the student he had seen. "I saw a kid...with a lightsaber." Everything had seemed to make sense during the vision, but now it was sifting through his fingers like sand.

"Was it yourself or someone else?"

"I think it was...my student?" He looked bewildered as he said it. "But how could I train anyone? I never was fully trained myself." He murmured, thinking about something Master Yoda had told him after class one day. Once they'd learned about Force visions, he'd had a million questions. Master Yoda, like he usually did when he had a few extra moments, had stayed to patiently answer all of Caleb's questions. _In flux, the future always is. Come, visions may, but certain the future is not._ "It must be wrong, Hera. It's gotta be wrong."

Hera truly didn't know how to answer this, or what to say. "Could it be that you are seeing what might have been? If Order 66 had never happened?"

He shook his head firmly. "No. I saw the _Ghost_ and the _Phantom_ in the vision. Something terrible had happened and it was my fault, the kid was crying, I think...but I don't know." The idea of a padawan was terrifying—Kanan knew that he was horrible at taking care of himself most of the time...how could he take on the responsibility of a padawan? Perhaps it was something of his own failing that had caused the trouble he'd seen in the last vision. No. The vision was wrong. It had to be. He would never take a student to train. The Jedi were gone.

She could sense the fear in him. "I think we've probably been stirring up some memories by talking about your past. It couldn't have been easy for you to talk about all the things you shared the other night. Maybe you should just reserve your judgment. Wait and see what happens before you act on anything."

He nodded, feeling a bit more calm. "Okay. You're probably right."

Hera thought Kanan seemed recovered; the color had come back into his face a little and his eyes were clear again. She helped him to his feet and lead him towards the ladder. "I don't know anything about the Force, or visions, but I'm beginning to know you, Kanan. I think that whatever happens, you will know what to do."

"Maybe." He murmured, not nearly so sure. "Maybe."


	6. Chapter 6

6.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for all the kind reviews. Someone requested part of the second scene in this chapter, where Kanan has a bit of trouble with some troopers. I'm so happy I was able to work it in, but that's been two chapters ago and I can't remember who requested it! The message is gone from my inbox! :( Sorry for not mentioning you by name. You may see another familiar face in this chapter. I couldn't find any canon that covered this person's entrance to the world, so I made it up. If it's wrong, just consider this AU.**

 **The next chapter has a lot of action, so I'm working on that as well. I took a long break from writing fanfic a few years ago, but you guys really make me remember how exciting it is to get a review and love creating a story again! :) Thanks!  
**

* * *

They secured a place in Nashal's starport by the end of the day. Hera had ordered Kanan to get some rest after she'd got him back to his quarters, and he'd protested, but eventually relented. As she landed and shut down the _Ghost's_ engines, she heard Kanan's footsteps come down the hall.

He'd obviously been heavily asleep. His hair was loose and messy, and she watched him run a hand through it. Although he looked tired, he looked more steady than he'd been earlier, and it further reassured her that they were ready for this op.

She couldn't help admitting that she worried about him; ever since she'd heard his secret, she understood at least part of what he struggled with. She was determined to help him, but how could she help him without being too overbearing? How could she help him face his past in a way that he wouldn't continue to run? How could she understand what he lived through everyday, being able to use the Force but prevented from doing so, by the fear of death? He seemed two people: the tough rogue she'd dismissed on Gorse, and this Jedi who'd lost everything and he blamed himself. It was enough to tear her heart to pieces.

Whether he decided on a Jedi path or not, if he could find a balance, then he would be at peace. And he'd been through so much pain...he deserved it. She tried not to let too much of her tenderness show in her eyes as she turned toward him, lest he mistake it for pity. "Feeling better?"

He nodded. "That's never happened to me before. Sorry if it scared you. It shook me up pretty good too." He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the doorway to the cockpit.

"No problem. I'm just glad you're okay. You're up for this tonight, right?"

"Yeah. What's the plan for the rendezvous?"

"Well, the rebel operative is going to make contact with us at a downtown club called Supernova—and they know there will be two of us this time."

"Great, I wasn't looking forward to another blaster in the back," he said wryly.

"Yeah. Nobody wants you to have to break out the Jedi moves." She teased him back, then grew more serious. "We'll find out how they want to get the shipment, drop it off and then be on to our next job. Fulcrum said there's not a very large Imperial presence on this planet, at least right now. Hopefully it will go off without a hitch."

"When are we leaving?"

"Well, if you wanna leave early, we might find somewhere to grab a real meal. Otherwise it's ration bars and nineteen-hundred hours."

He groaned at the idea. "Yeah, I'll pass on the ration bars. I'll be ready in ten."

"I thought you'd see it my way," she said smugly, watching him go.

* * *

Surveying the club they were to meet the contact in, Kanan felt pretty comfortable. There were three exits and music loud enough to cover any conversations they wanted to keep quiet. He and Hera waited at the bar, then moved when a booth near the back of the club opened up.

They ordered a bottle of Corellian brandy and sat there waiting for their contact. Hera said that the person, who was supposed to be a female, knew their basic descriptions and would find them. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, then trouble came through the door.

Three Imperial troopers stumbled into the bar, obviously already pretty inebriated. Kanan took a drink from his glass and nodded in their direction. Hera darted her eyes that way without moving her head, then looked back at Kanan.

"Too drunk to be observant," she murmured into her own glass as she brought it to her lips. She could sense the tension in Kanan's muscled form. "It'll be okay."

"Hmm," Kanan replied, not looking convinced.

When the troopers got closer, Kanan saw that one of the three was an older clone, he had been serving since the war. There weren't many of those left now, since the Empire had so many willing recruits. The fact that the older clone resembled the soldiers that he had fought with increased his discomfort. He had to tear his eyes away from their before they noticed his focused glare.

"So. What do you think about Lothal for our next stop?" Hera asked brightly, trying to make conversation to distract Kanan and anyone that might be watching or listening.

"Yeah," he said distractedly. "Never been there before, but I hear it's nice and quiet." He studied the pattern of wear on the tabletop. He didn't want to listen to the troopers, but it was impossible not to hear.

"Yeah, Graves here was on Toola when they found that Jedi."

"No way! Seriously?"

"Yeah. We took that traitor no problem. One of Vader's Inquisitors killed him with a lightsaber. It was better than he deserved. Bastard."

Hera's eyes snapped up to Kanan's. His steely gaze met her own. His face was emotionless, but she could feel the turmoil inside of him. She reached out and placed her hand on his.

"Kanan." He didn't reply, but she saw the tight line of his jaw and the way his free hand clenched into a fist.

One of the troopers replied to his friends loud enough for them to hear. "You know, all those Jedi were cowards. Lying to the senate, plotting behind the Emperor's back. Kriffing Jedi scum."

Kanan stood up, a look of anger flashing across his face. Hera grabbed his arm again, yanking him back down into the booth. "No. Don't," she warned. Number one, she didn't want him wrecking the mission, but most importantly was that she didn't want him to get hurt. She wasn't sure how quickly these soldiers could get reinforcements on the scene. The last thing they needed was Kanan hauled off to prison or worse because his anger got the best of him.

He still didn't respond to her, but he looked away and tried to get himself under control. She took it as a good sign.

There was more laughing and drinking from the soldiers at the next table. As Hera breathed a silent thanks that she wasn't going to have to drag Kanan out of here, a young girl, with short orange and purple hair, probably only in her late teens, but possibly older came over to their table. She was dressed in black and purple and Hera could tell she'd gone heavy on the eye makeup to appear older.

"Kinsa!" She greeted Hera as if she knew her well. It was the codeword Hera had been waiting for and she stood and hugged the young woman back.

"Therese!" she said, giving the countersign. "Wow. It really is a small universe." She smiled in pretended surprise, then turned to Kanan. "Love, this is my friend, Therese, from the University. Therese, this is Jarnal. Have a seat with us," she said.

"Yeah." Kanan nodded to her. "Take a seat." He cast another angry glance over his shoulder where the soldiers sat.

"You know, I'd love to run into one of those kriffing Jedi myself." The youngest among the troopers spoke up, full of mouthy bravado. "They're just flesh and blood like the rest of us. Hiding like dewbacks since the war."

"You get the next round of shots." Graves, the clone trooper, got up and headed towards the bar. Kanan stood up to go after him. Hera snatched at his arm again, but missed.

"No." Her whisper was soft, but it still reached him.

"It'll be fine." He glanced over his shoulder at her, giving her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Then he wove his way through the dancers, tables and servers toward the bar, fully intending to pull Graves outside or at least to the side and teach him what a lying, cowardly Jedi could do when he put his mind to something.

"What's he doing?" Therese whispered, raising an eyebrow.

"About to get himself into trouble," Hera sighed, mentally getting ready to fight their way out of here.

Kanan could feel the red tide of anger rising within him as he drew closer to Graves. Giving into it felt good; this was no more than traitors deserved. Suddenly, a clear voice came from behind him, so clear in fact, that he looked over his shoulder searching for the source. _Never give in to anger, Caleb._ He paused, frozen. Ever since he'd begun to reconnect with the Force, he'd noticed a gentle push from it, a subtle guidance that was there if he took the time to listen. This time it had not been subtle. It was like a shove, and he knew he ought to pay attention. It seemed a sign that the connection he'd thought was weakened and torn was being rewoven into what seemed like a stronger cloth.

He took a deep breath, and as his anger settled, he realized the dark side's temptation. He knew reacting out of emotion was wrong, but he'd been perfectly ready to give in to it, to take that first small step toward evil. Letting a negative emotion like anger overwhelm him was wrong if one followed the Jedi way. But there was the real question, wasn't it? Who was Kanan Jarrus? Was he Jedi or not? This was the question he was struggling to find an answer to.

He let out a heavy sigh and turned around. Hera was watching him out of the corner of her eye like a hawk, her hand resting on the blaster at her side. Even when he was acting stupid, she still had his back. He felt a flash of fierce love for the beautiful Twi'lek, and circled his way back to her, feeling more in control of himself.

"We should probably go," he told Hera, shading his words with meaning that only she would understand. He'd obviously refused to act on his anger, and she could tell he wanted to leave before he could change his mind.

"Okay. Thanks for giving Therese and me a few moments to catch up. We're going to try and meet up later so we can reminisce some more. See you then?" She eyed the young woman, putting one arm around her in an affectionate hug for the onlookers if there were any.

"You bet. Nice meeting you, Jarnal." The purple haired girl gave him a smile and slid out of the seat. Before she left, she leaned in and whispered to him. "I wanted to see you clock him, but it's probably a good idea that you changed your mind." She eyed him with the respect that one soldier gives another and then headed toward the door, easily disappearing into the crowd.

"I get the feeling there's more to her than it seems." He said.

"Me too," Hera responded. "Are we good?" She raised an eyebrow which asked, A _re you okay?_

"Yeah." He muttered under his breath. "Let's get out of here." They got up and wove their way through the crowd, giving the troopers a wide berth.

"I vote for that."


	7. Chapter 7 (Repost)

**A/N: I had to take this chapter down briefly to check something for continuity...(I'm new to the fandom, so I do make mistakes... :) I hope I can make things more clear in the next two or three chapters. Sorry for posting twice!  
**

 **This is the first blaster fight I've ever written. It's not perfect, but I've been working on it all this time and I think it's as good as I can make it for you. I'm working on chapter 8 right now, but I'm kinda stuck as to what's next. If anyone has any recommendations and I can work them in, I will. :)  
**

 **To the "Guest" (since I can't PM you) : For the last chapter, I looked it up and you were mostly right...the Empire had** **converted to recruits instead of clones. The info says they were phased out over time, but the 501st stayed completely clones. So it's not out of the realm of possibility that there could be an old clone or two left serving the Emperor. Therefore, I edited accordingly and made "Graves" the only clone. Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow!  
**

* * *

7.

They were to meet the rebel cell at coordinates on the outskirts of Nashal. There were many abandoned factories and warehouses in the older industrial area, one of which was owned by someone sympathetic to the rebel cause. Apparently, according to "Therese," the rebels operated out of it, and since there hadn't been many Imperials on the planet, things had worked fine so far. If they were caught, the owner would disavow all knowledge of what had been going on inside his derelict warehouse.

Kanan still didn't like it. On their way back from the bar, there were several patrols of troopers in the streets, which had set him ill at ease. There seemed to be a bit more than a small Imperial presence here, in his opinion. A question or two at the spaceport and he realized that the number of troops had been stepped up in the last few days. Apparently some important agent of the Empire was meeting with some Fed-Dub higher up, so the extra troopers were his escort. After some discussion, they'd decided to drop the supplies anyway, despite the increased presence.

"I'm scanning the area with sensors. It looks clear. I'm going to set down over near the back of the warehouse." Hera said, gently touching the _Ghost's_ controls to ease her down onto the landing pad. There were two flashes from the warehouse window, followed by three more. She responded with four flashes from the _Ghost's_ lights. Then the door to the warehouse began to slide open.

"Time to meet our comrades." Hera turned to Kanan who stood in the doorway, blaster at his side.

"Chopper—stay on surveillance. If anything gets close, I wanna know." Kanan ordered.

Chopper beeped an affirmative, rocking back and forth on his struts.

When they exited the cargo area, they were met by a very small force. There were five people, one dressed in purple Mandalorian armor. When the fighter saw them, she removed her helmet and Kanan saw it was "Therese."

Kanan nodded to her and she returned it before whispering to the middle-aged woman who stood in the middle of the group. Hera stepped forward. "I'm here to drop off some supplies."

"My name is Minah. This small group is Titan Squad." The tall, grey-haired woman in her late forties glanced around at her compatriots. Compared to all of them, the Mandalorian was the youngest of all.

"I'm going by Kinsa for this mission." Hera smiled. "Fulcrum said you were small."

"Everyone's gotta start somewhere." One of Minah's group replied. He was an older man, dressed in black with a blaster on his hip. His manner was brisk. "We should go ahead and unload."

"I'll show you." Kanan led the older man, and the Mandalorian girl into the _Ghost's_ cargo bay. "So, how long have you been fighting the Empire?"

"Titan has been together about three months. Before that we were all working independently," he began as he checked the supplies in each crate. Once he was done, he activated the suspensors and pushed it toward the warehouse.

Kanan turned to the Mandalorian. She had checked her crate as well, and then closed it back. When the older man was far enough away, she spoke. "Don't expect Jax to be too talkative. He just lost his son and he's taking it pretty hard."

"What happened?" Kanan asked her.

"The kid was Force-sensitive," she said matter-of-factly, grabbing her crate and pushing it off of the ship. "They didn't know. He was only nine years old. He got sick and had to go to an Imperial-run med center where they tested him. By the time we found where they had taken him, we found out he was executed."

Kanan was struck by her words. "Did you know him?"

She nodded. "Sweet kid. We tried to break him out, but he was already dead. We saved two kids last week that they were trying to ship out of here to work for the Empire. Minah said our mutual contact placed them somewhere safe. It was just two kids, but every little bit helps."

Kanan nodded, still thinking about how the Empire had continued its campaign against anyone who could use the Force. He'd heard rumors, but hadn't known what to think. Now, though, it wasn't hard to imagine an army of dark side force-users, trained from a young age to fulfill the Emperor's every order and the idea made him shudder.

He entered the warehouse and examined it as they placed the containers by the far wall. There were crates and piles of debris everywhere around the floor of the warehouse. It seemed they were in the midst of moving some things in, and cleaning the place out.

However cluttered, the small squad was well equipped for their size. There were several speeders, obviously stolen, as well as some armament set up to face the two entrances for defense. On one of the walls was a giant starbird in orange and purple paint—looking at the girl's armor and hair color, he thought he knew the artist. "Nice place."

She nodded. "Thanks. I helped them with some of the weaponry. I've been training them—they're not really fighters, but they're learning fast."

Kanan raised an eyebrow at her. She was young, but obviously had some sort of military training and felt comfortable in a battle situation. She wore two Westar-35 blasters at her sides and her armor was well-maintained. He pointed to her blasters. "Those are older, from the Clone Wars, but still classics. You definitely know your stuff."

She blushed. "Thanks. My name's Sabine."

He knew they weren't supposed to use names, but something told him it would be fine. He held out a hand and they shook. "Kanan."

"You're pretty equipped yourself, you know. Is that a DL-18?"

"Yeah, it is." He took it out and allowed her to examine it. It was obvious she was familiar with the business end of a blaster by the way she handled the weapon.

"I like it. It's got a nice weight to it." She nodded, handing the pistol back.

Suddenly, Kanan's com crackled with a burst of static. He checked it, but there was nothing there. His eyes found Hera near the entrance, off to the left hand side, deep in conversation with Minah, the leader, so he knew she hadn't commed him. "Chopper?" He couldn't raise the astromech on the device, and he began to make his way back to the front of the warehouse.

"What's wrong?" The girl asked, drawing not one, but both blasters at the sudden tension she sensed in him.

"I don't know. Maybe everything." He said, breaking into a run. Before they could reach the entrance he heard the sound of blaster-fire from all around them.

The troopers had broken through the other entrance and attacked both points at the same time. Kanan ducked behind some debris in the warehouse, pulling Sabine with him. From what he could see, Hera had dropped low as well. The attack on Hera was from the right, while Kanan's position was being attacked from the rear.

He fired over the barrier and saw their attackers for the first time. There were about ten troopers behind them and at least six that he could see on the left side of the warehouse.

Sabine picked off two of the ten before he could count them well. "Nice shots," he muttered as he sighted in and sent one of the storm troopers flying.

"Lots of practice," she said grimly.

The three rebels of Titan cell had taken up a position behind some of the crates they'd already moved off of the _Ghost,_ and Kanan grimaced when he saw one of the younger ones go down. Hera was returning fire from her position. Minah had been caught without a weapon, so she was staying out of the way, huddled behind Hera, and partially hidden by the door.

"We need to get over to Hera." He nodded in that direction as he picked off another trooper. "You go first. I'll cover you." As she nodded and ran, he raised up and provided cover fire, then ran himself.

Hera was covering them as well by firing at the four troopers that faced her. She shot one, but as she took aim once again, she was caught low in the side by a blaster bolt and went down. With a yell, he reached out with his free hand and threw the remaining three troopers back with a force-push as he ran to cover. They went down in a heap.

Sabine's eyes were huge. It was obvious she had seen what Kanan had done, but she quickly turned her attention to Hera. The Twi-lek was bleeding and burnt from the blaster wound on her side. Minah grabbed Hera's blaster and began to shoot back as they took fire from the left.

Kanan looked around helplessly; they were outnumbered and being onrushed from three positions, and he was sure reinforcements were on the way. "Hera..." He called, shooting bolts at the rear and right side troopers.

"I'm okay." Hera said through pain-clenched teeth as she sat up. Moving caused more reddish-purple blood to seep through her burned clothing and she tried to stifle a moan.

Just then, there was a huge blast into the warehouse, throwing back the larger force and preventing the entrance of more soldiers. It had come from the _Ghost;_ apparently Chopper was on the nose gun. Kanan hadn't noticed it, but during the battle, the engines had come on as well. "Remind me to kiss that astromech if we make it out of here." He said, ducking a shot.

"He'll love that." Hera deadpanned through the pain.

Just then Minah went down with a scream. One of the soldiers behind them was using a heavy blaster, and one of the shots had hit the leader squarely in the chest. Kanan realized that any more delay would make it impossible for anyone to escape. "Sabine. Head for the _Ghost_ with Hera and whoever you can gather up from behind the crates. I'll cover you from the rear."

"Gotcha," she replied. She placed her arm underneath Hera and helped her to her feet as easily as she could. The Twi-lek let out another groan of pain, but she managed to walk with Sabine toward the _Ghost_.

Kanan followed them, firing in direction of the blasted warehouse, as well as throwing a few bolts toward the troopers who had been attacking Hera. Their number had increased to at least ten and he could hear others coming around the other side of the warehouse. The TIEs wouldn't be far behind. He watched in surprise as one of the rebels behind the crates ran toward the troopers, who under the orders of their leader, did not shoot him. So. Titan squadron had been betrayed by one of their own.

The traitor took aim with his blaster, and struck Sabine's shoulder as the Mandalorian and Twi-lek made their way toward the Ghost. She cried out and stumbled, going down on one knee behind the crates. Kanan ran to where they were, still shooting as cover. He could see the two dead rebels behind the crates; victims of either the troopers or the traitor. He swept Hera up in one arm and held his hand out to Sabine. "Come on."

She took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. Together, covered by more shots from the nose gun, they ran up the ramp. Chopper closed it behind them, and Kanan rested Hera against the last of the shipping containers.

"Go. Take care of my ship." She said softly. Kanan leaned down and kissed her on the forehead gently before practically flying up the ladder to the cockpit.

Sabine looked into her eyes, kneeling beside her. "You too." Hera urged. "Gun turret. He'll need you."

The young Mandalorian made her way up the ladder and into the turret. Sabine could see the ship was now speeding into the upper atmosphere, followed by four TIE fighters. She hit the com. "We've got four on our tail."

"I see 'em." Kanan performed a roll and dodged the incoming fire, which gave Sabine a clear shot. She missed, but not by much. She was just unfamiliar with the _Ghost's_ turret controls.

"Kriff! Give me a second shot...I won't miss again." She said.

There was a pause as Kanan threw the Ghost into a flip, bringing it face to face with the TIEs. That gave them both a good shot. Kanan hit one with the nose gun, and the Sabine got another. They both gave a yell of triumph.

"You got him!" Kanan called. "Help me hold them off for a little longer, kid. The navicomputer is still calculating our jump to lightspeed."

Sabine tracked the third TIE and took a shot as the ship fired at them, hitting the shields. "Son of a bantha!" She muttered as the enemy ship angled to one side, then back to the other. She anticipated once more and took the shot.

The explosion was bright because it was so close. She let out another whoop of excitement as the Ghost finally hit lightspeed. The explosion was gone as well as the TIEs, and the flickering light of hyperspace showed outside the turret. Knowing they were safe, she climbed down to the main part of the ship, careful of her shoulder. It was throbbing pretty bad by now, the blood dripping down her arm to her glove.

Kanan was making his way back already. "Medbay. Now." He showed her where, then left to get Hera.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I finally broke through my writer's block on this story. Here's your long awaited next chapter. Thanks if you've stuck with me through writing this. You guys are really inspirational! Please drop a line and let me know how this worked-I tried to heat things up a little b/w our favorite space couple...but it still fits the rating. Hopefully you'll love them as much as I do!**

* * *

8.

Kanan slid Hera onto the bed, careful of her injury. Sabine's wound wasn't quite as serious, so he focused his attention on Hera first. "Here." Sabine handed him some surgical scissors, with which he cut away and removed the burned fabric that covered her side.

"Sabine. Try to put some pressure on your shoulder to slow the bleeding. It's gonna be a minute before I can get to you."

"No. Take care of her first. I'm good," Hera protested weakly.

"Nope," Sabine said, handing Kanan a datapad before she took some clean bandages to provide pressure to her shoulder. "Her first."

"Hey-who's the doctor here?" He asked, scanning Hera's condition with the datapad. Sabine could tell from the way he handled himself in the medbay that this wasn't the first wound he'd ever dressed.

"Okay, according to the scan, there's no major damage," Kanan said in relief. "You've lost some blood, but it's slowing." He gave her a spray hypo of coagulant, then another hypo. "This'll make it hurt less." He began to clean the burned area, being as gentle as possible before applying bacta from the tube that Sabine handed him.

"Son of a mynock!" Hera said through clenched teeth.

"I told you about walking into blaster-fire. The whole idea is NOT to get shot," Kanan said, continuing to gently tease her to keep her mind off the pain as he worked on her.

"I'll try to remember that for next time," Hera groaned out. Suddenly the tense expression faded from Hera's face. "What was in that hypo?" Hera asked, her voice more relaxed as the medicine kicked in. She grabbed the spray hypo from the table and examined the label. "Oh, you picked the good stuff."

"Yeah. Only the best for you, darlin'." He applied a regeneration bandage when the blood loss began to stop. Hopefully it would seal the wound and accelerate healing as it was meant to do. With their limited medbay, it was the most he could do.

When he finished bandaging Hera, he moved on to Sabine.

He helped her remove her shoulder plates along with the rest of her armor. The shot had gone right between two pieces of armor. "Nice plate," he mentioned as he placed the pieces on a nearby table.

"Yeah. I know a guy," she said, hissing as he began to pull the burned fabric away from her wound.

"Ok, how bad's the pain? You can have what Hera had, or I have something a little less potent."

"I'm not quite so bad off. Let's go with half-strength," she said, nodding toward the Twi-lek who was now laying down on the bed, eyes closed.

"Gotcha." Kanan administered the less potent painkiller. "If it isn't enough, let me know."

He began to clean and bandage her wound as he'd done for Hera, after giving the medicine a chance to begin its work.

"I think it's good," she sighed as the bacta and medication took effect. When no one was shooting at them and pain wasn't distracting her, she could think a little more clearly. "Hey. Thanks for all that back there." Her warm brown eyes studied his face as he worked on her. She was sad for the loss of her rebel comrades, but also thankful for her rescuers at the same time. If not for Kanan and Hera, she would be lying dead at the warehouse with the rest of the rebel cell. "Thanks for saving me. I...I don't know how they found us..."

"I do. The blond man with the heavy blaster. He was your traitor." He weighed Sabine's reaction, and he knew it was genuine. She hadn't been in on the attack. It confirmed his earlier feelings that she was trustworthy.

"Remel? Damn. I never liked that guy. I told Minah..." she trailed off, remembering seeing her leader dead. She hadn't known the tiny group of resistance fighters for long, but they'd welcomed her in like family. Her eyes filled with tears that she struggled to hold back. "I told her...not to trust him. Damn it. She was so naive." The tears finally spilled over her cheeks, streaking down her face.

Very gently he reached out and placed a hand on her good shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said simply.

She met his eyes, then turned away, embarrassed and wiping at her tears. "That's what war is, right? Losing the ones you love." She let out a shaky sigh, struggling to not seem weak. "That's why emotions don't belong on the battlefield," she said it as if she was quoting someone, and again Kanan was intrigued. Where had this girl learned her skills and become so tough? He felt as if he were talking to some battle-hardened soldier, not a girl that was barely a teenager.

"You're not on the battlefield now, so it's okay," Kanan said slowly. "It's okay."

"You're among friends," Hera said softly, her sleepy green eyes watching them. She'd woken up and carefully pushed herself back up to a sitting position. "You can stay with us as long as you need to."

"Thanks," Sabine murmured. Kanan finished up his work and Sabine inspected it.

"You need some rest. I'll show you to a room. You sleep as long as you want." Kanan led her out to one of their empty bunks, as well as showed her where the kitchen and 'fresher were.

When she was settled, he came back to Hera, who had just been about to doze off again. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Can you help me to my bunk? This bed...it's so uncomfortable I'm gonna space it. When I feel up to it, that is."

"I figured you made it that way because you didn't plan on anyone being sick on your ship." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Something like that." She smiled, then grew serious as she thought about the failure of their mission. She'd have to inform Fulcrum, but that would have to wait until Fulcrum contacted her, plus she was exhausted. She watched the floor, dizziness sweeping over her as he helped her up. He adjusted her carefully so that she could lean on him as they headed toward her quarters.

Kanan didn't reply until they got back to her room. "Can I get you anything, Hera?" Kanan eased her to the bed, then reached down and pulled off her boots, being as gentle as possible so as not to jostle her.

"Can you help me change clothes? I can't sleep in this." She looked down at her bloody and burnt clothing.

"Uh..." Kanan looked uncertain. "Are you sure you want me...? I could get Sabine..." He had made all kinds of comments in the past about the two of them and his attraction to her, so he was afraid she might think he was abusing this situation, or worse, that she might feel uncomfortable around him.

"It's okay. I'm not that shy. Don't wake her." Hera pointed at a drawer across the room, directing him to retrieve a loose grey shirt and pair of sleep pants. "Besides, you'll be a gentleman," she added, with a slight grin.

He came back over and she turned her front away from him. Carefully she tugged her shirt over her head with one hand. "A little help here..." she groaned a little as moving tugged on her blaster wound.

He reached over and helped her pull the shirt the rest of the way, and over her lekku. From where he was positioned, he could see the green skin of her back, and the graceful way her decorated headtails trailed down her it, but nothing else. _Focus_ , he told himself warningly. The last thing he wanted to do was lose concentration here and break the trust she was showing him.

She quickly tugged the clean shirt over her head; instinctively he knew when to help and was very careful not to hurt her. She was both surprised and appreciative that he'd dropped his facade with her lately; the old Kanan wouldn't have been able to resist a comment or two. But this new side that he'd shown her? She trusted it.

As he helped her, Kanan felt himself reaching out to the Force. He didn't want to cause her any pain, so he allowed the ebb and flow of the Force to guide his touch on her body. He eased her lekku through the opening in the neck of the shirt very carefully; from her fall backwards after she'd been shot, she was a little bruised.

A very distinct shiver went through her body at his gentle touch on her sensitive headtails, and she found herself trying to calm her heartbeat. When she turned back around to face him, she felt a wave of vertigo overtake her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing her grow a pale green.

She nodded. "A little dizzy," he waited, letting her decide how she wanted to continue. "I think I can get the next part."

He got up as if to go, but she shook her head. "Stay. Just in case I fall over or something."

He nodded and turned the other way to give her privacy. She watched his back as she unbuttoned her flight pants and shimmied them down over her hips. "You're pretty quiet. I expected at least a crack about how you knew I'd find a way to get you in my bedroom," she said, a smile in her voice as she stepped out of her pants and reached for the other ones.

"Just being careful," he replied. She watched his head dip down a little, as if he were studying the floor in concentration.

"Careful of what?"

"Well, I don't want you thinking I would uh...you know...take advantage of this kind...of situation." She instinctively knew he was blushing at this point. It was more evidence that he was different than she'd first thought. More evidence that there was something—a respect, a caring...maybe even more than that growing between them.

"I was really only half-kidding. I trust you," she said softly.

Those three words seemed to do something to his being, and he felt like he could barely breathe. Hera trusted him. It had been a long time since he had heard anyone say anything like that to him. It meant everything. As he continued to listen for anything she might say, he heard the rustling of fabric and a sudden frustrated noise, followed by a surprised squeak.

"Are you… kriff! Sorry..." He turned quickly to help her, before even thinking about it. In the instant he looked at her, he panicked and immediately turned his gaze away. She had gotten her leg wound up in her pants somehow, lost her balance and fell to the bed. All he'd seen was a flash of smooth green skin and a glimpse of something white, covering and clinging to all the right places.

Instead of the yelling he expected, she let out a laugh. "It's okay, Kanan." His solicitous attitude was sweet and somewhat amusing after the hedonist persona he had cultivated on Gorse. "Seriously, it's okay…. A little help would be appreciated though."

He seemed to gather himself, lifted his eyes, then walked over to her. With a gentle touch, he helped right her and pull the material up and over her slim hips. "How's this?" He hadn't taken quite as much care with his gaze this time, and he brought it from her midsection to meet her eyes.

"Yeah," she breathed. They remained that way for long moments, until Hera felt a very warm flush through her entire body, including her lekku, which darkened. With her quickened pulse, there came another wave of dizziness. She grabbed his arms, and he kept her upright.

"Whoa! Hey...why is the _Ghost_ pitching from side to side?" A momentary crease of worry appeared on her forehead and she seemed as if she were going to go and check on it right now. He didn't let her, however.

"It's not. I think it must be the medication. Let's get you in to bed."

"Okay," she agreed, feeling much more stable with his help as he led her to sit on the bed. He arranged her pillows and as she eased herself fully on to the mattress, he pulled the sheets and blankets over her. "Hey...you know your eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue-green?"

He blushed slightly and his gaze softened even more as he looked at her. "Okay, now you're the one getting flirty. No more medicine for you. I'm cutting you off," he teased, a half-smile coming to his features.

She sighed, her eyes slowly closing as she felt tiredness claiming her. "They look like the sea. It's true."

"Sure it is," he said softly, watching her drift off again.

She didn't open her eyes, but spoke with a smile touching her lips, "I'm gonna blame it on the pain medicine, you know. This is all your fault."

"I knew you'd find a way to make this my fault," he quipped back. When he was sure she was asleep, he leaned in and placed another kiss, this time against her cheek, before leaving her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: A little sweet Kanan and Sabine scene toward the end in here. I feel like I'm really getting to know Kanan in this story; I found out his protectiveness didn't start with Ezra... Hope you enjoy and please comment!**

9.

Hera woke up when she felt the _Ghost_ drop out of hyperspace. She sat up quickly, too quickly and felt a hot stab of pain along her side. She hissed a moment, remaining perfectly still until the pain faded to a steady, slow ache. The events of the previous day came back to her: the firefight with the stormtroopers, getting injured, Kanan saving them, Sabine helping her back to the _Ghost._ She blushed a little when she remembered him helping her change clothes. Then, an image came to her mind of him with his hand raised and troopers flying through the air. He'd used the Force! She shook her head, wishing he hadn't taken that kind of chance, but also glad to be alive as well. Titan cell hadn't been so lucky. She wasn't sure if she wanted to yell at him for such a risk or hug him for saving her. Probably a little of both.

She stood up and made her way toward the cockpit, padding silently down the hallway. Kanan was in the pilot's chair and Chopper was nearby. The astromech let out a series of beeps, chirps and buzzing when he saw her. "Glad to see you too, Chop." Moving gently, she placed a hand on top of the droid.

"We just came out of hyperspace near Lothal. I switched the Ghost's signature right before we dropped out."

"Someone's been paying attention." Hera teased as she sat in the co-pilot's chair. Kanan offered to get up but she waved her hand. "How's our guest?"

"Still sleeping." Kanan said.

"She was pretty tough out there." Hera said thoughtfully. "How old do you think she is?"

"Younger than she looks." Kanan said. "But she's had some sort of combat training. She was training those rebels how to be soldiers, believe it or not. Too bad she didn't have more time with them."

Hera sobered. "You don't think that we tipped the Imperials off somehow, do you?" She looked at him with anxiety-filled eyes. "We were pretty careful."

"No. It was one of their own." He realized that Hera must have missed that part of his conversation the previous night. "I saw the guy with the heavy blaster...the blond one...run toward the troopers. They didn't shoot him, so I figure he was working with them." He paused a moment, then continued. "She took it pretty hard, but you saw that part."

Hera nodded, then heard the swish of a door behind them. There was another swish, this one the door to the 'fresher. "Our guest is up."

"Lets go get acquainted."

As they talked during breakfast, leaving Chopper to mind the helm, Hera realized a few things about their guest. Sabine WAS a lot younger than she seemed. When she exited the 'fresher and sat down to breakfast, she had washed off her makeup and Hera realized that the petite girl was no older than thirteen, if that.

The other thing Hera realized was that this girl was well-equipped to take care of herself. When she came out of the room, she'd left her armor, but her blasters were strapped to her side as if she didn't feel comfortable without them. During small talk over breakfast, Kanan had asked her where she had learned to shoot.

"At the Imperial Academy on Mandalore." She said cautiously, monitoring both of their expressions as if testing the waters. "But we had a parting of the ways, you might say."

"You deserted? What made you leave?" Kanan said.

"It's the _Empire_. What other reason do you need?" She raised an eyebrow and took a bite of ration bar. Kanan nodded. At least the girl had the right attitude about the Imps.

"Where's your family?" Hera asked gently, thinking perhaps Sabine would want to get back to them.

The girl's face hardened and all of a sudden, she looked years older. "Gone. They're gone."

Kanan and Hera shared a look. They didn't need to ask what had happened. As Sabine had said...it was the Empire. No other explanation was necessary. "I'm sorry." Hera murmured.

She looked up, showing none of the tenderness of the previous night. "It's the Empire that's going to be sorry," she said coldly, her dark eyes flashing. After a second, she gathered herself. "Is there a way I can contact a friend of mine? She's on Ylix. She wanted me to come stay with her before I met up with Titan. Maybe the offer still stands."

"Sure, just go to the cockpit. Chopper will show you." Hera said. She commed the astromech: "Chopper, let Sabine use communications to contact Ylix. Use normal security protocols."

Sabine made her way up front.

"She's too young to be on her own," Hera murmured.

"Yeah..." Kanan looked after her, thinking of what it had been like to be on his own. He'd been a year or two older than Sabine, but it still had been hard. The universe had been a big place with dangers at every turn. "But she's smart. I think she'll be okay." He looked Hera over; she looked exhausted and in pain again. "You need another nap. I'll look after the kid."

Hera nodded. "If her friend will take her in, then fine...let's take her there. But if not, I want her to know she can stay with us."

"Okay." He came over, helped her up and followed her back to her room. "I'll get you some more medicine."

"Uh...no. Not whatever that was last night. I know I might have...gotten a little out of hand, maybe..." she said, testing the waters.

"I kind of like it when you get a little out of hand." He said softly, letting his eyes linger on her face. She felt his fingers wind into her own as they stood there, and she squeezed his hand back, silently agreeing that she didn't mind it either. She let out a little laugh, and glanced down self-consciously. "How about something not so strong?" He knew that she had to be hurting; he'd taken several blaster wounds through the years and knew how she was feeling.

"Okay." She agreed, reluctantly letting his hand go.

In a minute, he came back with some tablets and a cup of water. She took them without question and laid back down. "Make sure you tell Sabine she's welcome to stay," she reminded him.

"I will. Don't worry. Get some rest. I don't wanna see you until after 1500 hours."

Kanan left as she settled back down to rest and sleep. He got an idea and went to his room, then met Sabine as he entered the common room again. In some ways, looking at the girl was like looking at a younger version of himself. Tough on the outside, but inside, still a kid. "What did your friend say?" he asked carefully, as he began cleaning up after their meal. He didn't want her to think he was trying to pry.

"She said it was fine. She has a place to stay on Ylix and she said I could bunk with her." Sabine sat down once more. "Your astromech said we were near Lothal? Do you think I could book passage from there to Ylix?"

"Yeah, probably. How many credits do you have?" Okay, now he really **was** prying. She looked uncomfortable, so he knew the answer was not enough.

"Uh...I was thinking about selling one of my blasters. Maybe that would be enough..."

Kanan finished up in the kitchen and came over to sit down again. He reached into his pocket and placed a stack of credits on the table in front of her. "Don't sell the blaster. It's a classic and you wouldn't get half of what it's worth on Lothal or anywhere else in the Outer Rim."

"But...but this is a lot of credits..." She looked up with wide brown eyes.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Consider it a loan if it'll make you feel better. I think this would get you to Ylix and then some." In truth, it would probably set her up for a month or two, at least. It was all the credits he'd gotten from his last two jobs with Hera. She wasn't charging him for room and board, so he wouldn't need them and the girl most definitely would.

Sabine stared at the stack of credits for long moments. "Thank you, but money like this comes with strings...and I'm not for sale if that's what you're..."

He realized what she meant, and wondered what sleemo had propositioned her before. That would be a man he'd like to have five minutes with. Five minutes and his fists would be sufficient to make sure it was the last time the slime propositioned anyone.

He took a deep breath and went on. "No. You misunderstand," he gently corrected, blushing slightly. "No strings. Look...when I was about your age, I was on my own too and...somebody helped me. Let's just say I'm repaying the universe for the assistance. Take the money, Sabine." He pushed it across the table to her.

Now it was her turn to blush furiously. "Oh...kriff. I'm so sorry. I just thought..."

"Look. If you run into anyone who tries to make a deal like that, you take that blaster, shoot first and ask questions later." He raised an eyebrow at her. "You gotta be careful out there."

"Thanks." She took the credits, not knowing what else to say. What kind of person would just give away that much money? And ask nothing in return? She glanced up at him, speaking in a soft voice barely above a whisper. "I've been wanting to ask...how did you make those troopers go flying during the fight?"

He shrugged casually, but was carefully measuring her reaction with his eyes and the Force. "Oh….uh….Let's just call it a fortunate coincidence. Or a trick of the light."

She nodded, and he could tell that she had her suspicions. "O-okay. We can call it that."

"It's probably safer," he said simply. "The less we talk about it, the better." She looked up at him and he knew that she wouldn't turn him in. He'd been pretty sure before, but now he felt certain. "While you're out there...if you ever need me or Hera...for anything, please know you can contact us."

"Okay." She nodded. "Why, though? Why help me?"

"Any enemy of the Empire is a friend of mine." He knew it would make sense to someone as militarily minded as Sabine.

"Yeah. Okay." She shook her head disbelievingly. "I think you're crazy, but okay." She smiled at him.

"Crazy or not…call us. We'll come." He stood up and placed a hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Now I'll plot a course to Ylix. We were going that way anyway."

"You are crazy," she said softly, shaking her head as he left for the cockpit.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I was really sick for a few days and just went back to work (after a long vacation) so things have been busy, busy, busy. I hope that I still have readers! I am revising chapter 11 right now-so it's about ready to be posted too. Thanks for all your support through the writing of this. If no one left comments, I might not be so motivated to finish, so thanks! :)**

* * *

10.

By the time they landed in the spaceport on Ylix, Hera had repeated her offer to Sabine several times, but each time the teen had politely declined. Even though they both wanted her to stay, Kanan knew that Sabine didn't want to feel dependent on anyone. He knew that if she hadn't been more than a little desperate, she wouldn't have taken the credits he'd offered her.

Hera and Kanan walked to the Ghost's ramp with Sabine, then out into the busy corridor. "Do you see her?" Hera asked, half hoping that the Sabine's friend wouldn't show. She just couldn't help it. The girl was alone and while she wasn't naive and helpless, it was a big universe out there. Some part of her wanted to take the girl in and keep her safer than she would be on the streets.

"No, I don't see her." Sabine's brown eyes scanned the crowd, then she stood on her tiptoes. "Wait..."

Kanan looked in that direction and saw a figure in a cloak pull down the hood. The person was dark-skinned with extremely short black hair, and she seemed to be scanning the crowd as well.

"That's my friend." Sabine turned to Kanan and Hera. "I don't know how to thank you," she admitted as she took Hera's hand in her own, but ended up getting a hug from the Twi'lek. She returned it a little awkwardly, but was smiling when Hera finally let her go.

"Maybe we'll meet again one day," Hera said.

"Yeah. You've got good aim. We can always use another gunner if you need some work." Kanan added, sticking his hand out. Sabine took it then threw an arm around him.

"Thank you for patching me up. And everything else too." She said softly, looking up at him.

"You bet." He shifted a little uncomfortably, casting a glance to Hera, who had raised one tattooed eyebrow at him.

Sabine took several steps backward, as if she was fixing them in her mind, then turned and melted into the crowd. Kanan watched until she reached her friend.

"So. What was 'everything else?'" Hera teased.

"You know. Just a little advice...that's all." Kanan said, casually. He watched until he could no longer see Sabine and her friend, then turned with Hera to head back to the _Ghost_.

"Yeah...right." Hera murmured. "I think someone's gone soft on me."

"Nah." He shook his head. "Not me." He tapped his chest as they started up the _Ghost's_ ramp. "Town drunk, brawler, gunslinger, spacer, smuggler…."

"If you don't know you're more than that, then you're not as smart as I thought you were." She raised an eyebrow at him once more.

"You could be wrong about that. I might disappoint you."

"I don't think so." She replied, reaching out to climb the ladder. He could see she was favoring her injured side, so he climbed with her, just a few rungs down so he could catch her if her grip faltered.

They reached the top and Hera made her way to the cockpit. "Well, I've got to monitor communications for Fulcrum—to let her know what happened to Titan." They were on a contact schedule, and she had to wait for contact from Fulcrum before reporting.

"I'd like to talk to this 'Fulcrum.'" Kanan narrowed his eyes. He had a bone or two to pick with this mysterious figure that had them traipsing all over the galaxy. "We were sent into a supposedly safe situation, but it ended up being a disaster. Twice now. If this is the normal operation of this 'resistance' then we'll be lucky to make it three months out here!"

"I understand your frustration, but no." Hera shook her head, turning around to block Kanan's way into the cockpit. "Talking to Fulcrum...that's not happening."

"Why not?"

"The less you know, the safer we all are. Sorry, but that's how it has to be right now." She looked up at him, her green eyes measuring his reaction.

He raised an eyebrow, but could tell that she meant it, so he backed down. "Okay. But you just tell her that the next person who points a blaster at one of us is gonna end up as dead as Honoghr. And you can tell her Kanan Jarrus said so." He turned around and headed towards his quarters, leaving Hera watching him with a curious, almost pleased look on her face.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

 **A/N: Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I went back to work after our summer break and now things are a little busier. Plus I had some trouble with this chapter...especially toward the end. I wanted it to be perfect and finally got it finished as good as it can be. It was about time that Kanan and Hera made things a little more...defined between them. Yeah, that's a pretty good word. Rated PG-13 for some heavy kissing. Please comment! I'm dying to see what people think. :) Next up after 11, Chapter 12 where Kanan and Hera meet up with someone very interesting.**

* * *

There is no honor in what he has to do. He only thanks the Force that most of them have their helmets on. Looking into their eyes while he kills them would make it impossible. He would have stood there and been cut down if he'd had to look them in the face. The black plastoid visor eyes are empty and soulless, and that makes it almost possible to pretend that he is not killing his friends...his comrades...his brothers-in-arms.

He moves with his master, deflecting blaster bolts and cutting down the enemy with mechanical precision. But there are too many. Hot, sticky blood splatters Caleb's face. It hardly matters whose blood it is now: his—his master's—theirs; he is covered in it. Death is stalking them, wearing the faces and shapes of comrades and friends, growing closer every moment.

 _Run!_ He hears Master Billaba's voice and turns to her with wide eyes. _No_! He won't leave her. But he knows he will. It will be the defining failure of his life and will contaminate everything he does—or doesn't do for years to come.

But she's already dead. She falls, her lifeblood mixing with the dirt. Her eyes stare upwards at him—accusing him.

 _Coward_.

It is that word that guts him, that takes his heart and freezes his blood every time his dreaming mind brings him here.

This time, to his horror, he sees that it is not Master Billaba who is dead, but Hera. Her blood is dark against the dirt, her wide-open green eyes dulled by a cataract of dust. The world is tilted, off-balance.

Y _ou left me there to die, Kanan. You did nothing. You are a coward._

The words don't need to be spoken aloud; he's dreamed them enough times. This is the first time he's heard them in Hera's voice, though and it sends a sick coldness through his body.

He turns first one way then another, feeling helpless with fear. He kneels down and covers her one of her many wounds with his hands...thinking he could stop the bleeding, and bring her back somehow. It is futile. He is sobbing, but in his dream there is no sound, just a high unwavering note like an open com with a background whine. It is the sound he associates with chaos...the end of the world...and to the end of his days he will loathe it—it will be intolerable—always bringing him back in his mind to this spot.

It is then that he feels the cold barrel of a blaster against his skull. "Die, Jedi traitor!" The voice is familiar, but he can never place it. He closes his eyes, welcoming the oblivion that will take away the pain he feels. Death is the only out.

* * *

Hera jolted awake in bed. Something had woken her and she wasn't sure what it was. A bump, a noise? Some sort of turbulence? She looked around, felt the steady vibration of the ship. She listened. Nothing. She picked up her com. "Chopper. Everything ok?" She didn't know why everything wouldn't be okay. They were waiting for a rendezvous with a client, orbiting a small moon in an obscure part of the Outer Rim. Both she and Kanan had turned in for a nap before picking up the shipment, leaving Chopper to monitor things.

Chopper replied that the only movement he'd seen was Kanan going into the 'fresher a moment ago.

She told the astromech to carry on. She listened for Kanan going back to bed as she thought about the last few days. Ever since she had been wounded, something about him had changed. He had become more focused and serious. Even though he'd had a few harsh words for Fulcrum, he'd still shown his devotion to the ship and to Hera out in the field, so she didn't hold his ire against him. He was worried about her, even though she'd done everything she could to convince him she was back to normal.

He hadn't wanted to take this job because he was wary of her safety as she healed, but she'd convinced him it would be an easy run. He'd only agreed once she told him he could take the lead on the job and plan the rendezvous with the client. He still grumbled because the client wanted to be left anonymous, but he knew as well as she did that it was par for the course in their business. She found that she kind of liked his over-protectiveness. Kanan was very tactical-minded and having someone to back her up in that area was reassuring. Ok, she admitted that she kind of liked the idea that he thought enough of her to be overprotective too, but she knew that once she healed up, she would have to set that straight. Hera Syndulla could and would take care of herself.

The Twi'lek brought her attention back to the present, checking her chronometer. She hadn't heard him leave the 'fresher and it had been a while. She stood up, adjusting her sleep clothes, and then made her way out to the hallway, if only to ease her own mind.

For Kanan, the nightmare smell of blood was still thick in the air when he staggered to the 'fresher. He palmed the door with a shaky hand. For a brief moment, in the mirror over the sink, he saw his own pale face and eyes wide with fear. Then he saw the blood dripping from his hands. He made a soft strangled sound and closed his eyes. _No. This isn't happening._ He looked again and it was happening. His eyes darted up to the mirror once more to see his face smeared with splatter.

Water. Soap. Water. Soap. Water... he furiously scrubbed under the sink, trying to clean the red mark of his cowardice from his hands and face. It was not working. The silver basin was slick with blood, and still he felt it on his face...saw it on his hands. "No. No. No." Frantically he scrubbed at his hands until he sensed her beside him. He didn't want to look at her, afraid he might see her dead, accusing eyes, staring at him through their film of dust. Instead of looking, he scrubbed at himself harder.

Her voice instinctively broke through the static in his mind. "Kanan."

That one word was what he clung to...her voice, warm and rich with emotion, dispelled enough of the fear so that he could speak. "It won't come off," he whispered.

She looked to see. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The blood." He held out his hands, trembling and raw from the scrubbing. "I failed again. I couldn't stop it..." He shook his head, unable to say anymore. He placed his hands back under the water until she stopped him.

"Oh no, no, love." She grabbed a towel, turned off the water and wrapped his hands in it gently, to break his focus on them. "You didn't fail anyone." She struggled to catch his eyes, but they were skating everywhere in terror, seeing a horror she can only imagine. She placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face toward her. His glazed eyes showed he was waking up from a dream. Its evil miasma had clung to him even in consciousness.

He fell back against the wall and sank down to the floor and squeezed his eyes shut tightly to block everything out. She wrapped her arms around him, sitting on her knees as well. "It was just a dream," she murmured against the side of his head, into his damp brown hair. "Just a dream, love."

He cried silently for long moments, his head down and turned away from her. There were deep breaths as the tears flowed; then, she was startled when a noise finally escaped him. His sobbing hurt her; it was so raw and pained and the cries seemed to come from some dark corner of the soul. As the grief spent itself, she felt the tension in him ease a bit, but it didn't pass away completely. With an aching heart, she wondered how many layers lay beneath the surface of this pain?

Finally, when she thought her heart couldn't stand anymore, his sobs slowed and stopped. His breathing slowly evened out, but she still maintained her hold on him, as if he were a crystal that would shatter if she were to let go. It was almost as if she could physically hold him together. "Kanan…what happened?"

"It doesn't matter." He moved back, breaking their contact abruptly. He raked his fingers through his hair, then buried his head against his knees. All he wanted to do was push the memory away and disappear. No. He wanted a drink. He wanted to drink until every memory, until every shred of his broken past was gone. He still craved oblivion, any way he could get it, but he wouldn't be able to bear disappointing Hera like that again. Not knowing what to do to numb the pain, he did the only thing he could do—push her away. Protect her from his past. He didn't want to let it contaminate her and the trust he'd worked so hard to build with her. He wanted her to see that she could depend on him, not see him as someone perpetually on the edge of falling to pieces. "I'm okay. Please, you can go. I'm fine." He tried to reach out for the Force, for some sort of grip to hold him steady in this storm of the soul, but the light slipped through his grasp. He had never felt more alone.

Her touch again...her hand on his shoulder...then her hand on the back of his head, smoothing his hair gently. "I'm not leaving you," she swore.

"You should. You should leave. I was lost a long time ago, so you don't have to save me, Hera." He lifted his gaze to hers finally and she was able to see how ragged he really felt.

"No. Don't talk like that." Without weighing the outcome of what she was about to do, she leaned in swiftly and took his breath with her kiss. It was gentle, but insistent; she could taste the salt tears on his lips and she kissed them away. It only took a moment for his surprise to wear off before he returned the kiss hungrily. She twined a hand into his soft hair and pulled him even closer. When they finally broke apart just enough to breathe, she could see the heat in his eyes.

"I can save anyone I want to, Kanan Jarrus." She breathed, raising an eyebrow and daring him to argue.

"Kriff, Hera..." His words were husky with raw emotion. She found she liked the sexy roughness of the desire in his voice and she wanted more.

"One condition." She leaned in and took another taste of his lips to punctuate her words. "This doesn't change anything about my fight against the Empire." Another sweet bite of him and she was ready to moan. Damn. He was such a good kisser. She'd known he would be, somehow, even though she'd never even kissed a human before. "No more self-doubt. I love you, Kanan Jarrus. Exactly like you are."

"I loved you the first time I heard your voice." He said, reaching out for her cheek and pulling her to him. Then he nestled into her neck, his mouth dropping kisses there. She felt his breath on her lekku as he spoke and now it was her turn to let out a heated noise of desire. "I didn't think...I wasn't sure you'd feel the same."

"Stars, Kanan..." As he pulled back, she wound her hand back into his hair and pulled him into her, not allowing him to escape. "How could you **not** know?" With his extensive romantic experiences, she was surprised that he was so clueless.

"I've never loved anyone before." He admitted, exploring the softness of her lips with his fingertips.

"Oh, Kanan." She pulled him to her again and they kissed until they were dizzy from lack of breath. Just when she thought she would burst into flame from desire, he pulled her to her feet.

"C'mon." He guided her to her quarters, thankful that it was only across the hall.

Before she could get the door open, he pushed her against the wall outside her door, still letting his lips brush her face and neck passionately. "Kanan..." She groaned. "You're sure? This is your out...if you need one..." She was panting hard, her need for him making her body ache deliciously in all the right places.

"I'm so sure you wouldn't believe it." His teeth very gently grazed the skin of her neck in a love bite and she whimpered under his attentions. She reached for the door panel, her searching hand slapping near it two or three times before it finally opened.

"Ok. Now you're stuck...with...me for good." She pulled him into the room and lost the rest of her words as his warm touch traced over one of her lekku.

He made a noise of either agreement or satisfaction, then her mouth found his lips; his hands grazed her bare skin under her sleep shirt, and there was no more breath or energy left for words.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hi everyone. This chapter hasn't been edited a million times like I usually do (I'm very OCD about editing), but I hope it passes muster. I've given a few hints as to what's in the box...hopefully the hints will foreshadow what's coming. If I get lucky, I might post the next chapter before the end of the weekend.

* * *

12

Kanan reluctantly opened his eyes when he heard Hera's com beep. Reaching out behind him, he located it and shut off its annoying sound. Then he turned back around and wrapped his arm around Hera once more, letting her warm scent wash over him. Truly, for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. She stirred in his arms and he let his fingertips gently graze her side, carefully avoiding the bacta bandage she still wore over the healing blaster wound. He'd come close to losing her, and it still weighed upon him. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"It's time?" She murmured, leaning into his touch.

"Yeah." He replied.

She groaned, reluctant to move, but then she turned in his embrace, so that they were facing each other. "You ok...with….all of this?" She gestured to both of them, and he took her hand in both of his own larger ones.

He nodded, his eyes scanning her features. "You?"

"Yes." She answered, a shy smile touching her lips. She reached up and fingered a lock of his hair.

"I would kiss you again, but then I wouldn't be able to let you up from here." The feel of her body against his own was distracting, to say the least.

"I'm already considering that idea." She said, giving in to kiss him, when they both heard the beep of the com. "Chopper..." She groaned. He retrieved her com, placing it in her hand.

There was a flurry of chirps and whistles, letting her know that a ship was dropping out of hyperspace near them.

"Our contact." She said, looking up at Kanan. "Thanks, Chopper. Be out in a minute."

Kanan got out of bed, and she got another look at his perfect build. Many humans were light skinned and pale, but he had an olive skin tone, which she found beautiful. His near perfect physique was marred in several places by varying sized scars. There were two blaster wounds, a knife wound and several other difficult to determine marks, lighter against his dark skin. In her eyes, they only made him more attractive. She wanted to learn every story behind every scar.

However, there was no time now. She tried not to stare too much as he got dressed, but it was simply impossible to take her eyes off of him. As she caught his gaze, she realized he was having the same trouble, and a satisfied smile touched her features. He responded with an answering bad-boy grin that reminded her of their time on Gorse.

"Like what you see, huh? Business first." She reminded him with a teasing lilt to her voice. "Then...we might pick up where we left off."

"Yes, Ma'am." He replied, pulling on his green undershirt where he found it on the floor. "How did my other boot get under your bed?" He asked as he reached underneath for it.

"We weren't exactly paying attention to where things fell last night." She smiled wryly as she pulled on her flight pants and a close fitting black shirt that accented her curves in all the right places.

They finished getting dressed, then made their way to the cockpit where Chopper let out an electronic snort of what was clearly disgust.

"Chopper!" Hera said sharply.

"Is he objecting about the specifics of 'us' or just on general principals?" Kanan asked. He knew a little binary, but not enough to get all of what Chopper was saying.

Hera shot Chopper another look as he squawked loudly, then shook her head. "You don't wanna know, love." She contacted the other ship. "Unknown ship, this is the _Scythe_."

" _Scythe_ , this is _Iron_ _Hammer._ "

"We read you." She gestured to Kanan. She'd told him he could take the lead on this one, and meant to stick by it. She had her blaster handy, however, just in case he needed back up.

"You have a package for us?" he asked. They met each others eyes as waited for the response.

"That's an affirmative, Scythe. We have the scheduled payment, as well."

"Initiate docking procedures. Have the package and the payment ready. We don't have all day."

He nodded at her, and she cut the intercom. "Well done, Captain Jarrus. Just watch your six out there."

"Yes ma'am, Cap'n Syndulla." He replied, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it.

Chopper gave another disapproving squawk, and Kanan patted the top of the droid on the way back to the airlock. "Be back in ten." He called over his shoulder.

* * *

Gravik, the owner of _Iron Hammer_ turned out to be a third-rate smuggler that was in a bad spot with a Hutt. Apparently the small, shifty looking man had been caught skimming off the top of some of his shipments, and his boss had put out a bounty on him. The lowlife hadn't admitted as much, but Kanan was able to put two and two together. That's why he had hired the Scythe's crew to deliver this special "package."

"So, what is it we'll be hauling?" There were two shipping crates to be loaded. One was longer, a definite rectangular shape. The other container was thinner and smaller all around, and also rectangular. Kanan reached over to pop open the top on the larger one, but Gravik stopped him.

"You don't wanna open that." He said, placing his hand on the top of the container.

"Then I don't haul it." Kanan took his hand off of the lid and stared at Gravik pointedly.

"Ok. Look." The short, rather unassuming little man held out both hands. "You got me over a barrel here." He sighed. "Jabba the Hutt collects curiosities. This here is a rare albino sabercat. Got the bastard frozen in carbonite. If you uh...accidentally unfreeze it, it could be bad for both of us."

"Uh huh." Kanan raised an eyebrow. It **was** a likely story, though. Many crime bosses kept sabercats as pets and this Jabba probably would want something as rare as an albino one. "I'll be careful."

Before Gravik could respond, Kanan had unlatched the lid and pushed it to the side to look in. Inside was a carbonite container, just as he'd been expecting. The creature contained had to be large, because the Carbomite filled the entire shipping container. From the light that hit the dull sheen of the black surface, he could see an extended, almost hand-like claw. "Okay." He said, moving the heavy lid back to cover the carbonite.

Gravik breathed a sigh. "You need to deliver both boxes to Tatooine. Please let Jabba the Hutt know they are from Tonnus Gravik. To settle a debt."

"Sure." Kanan snapped off the lid to the second container, and inside was only one item. He reached in and pulled out the strange looking blaster rifle. Something about it seemed familiar and he found himself trying to remember some of the classes on weapons that he'd taken at the Jedi academy. "Nice piece." He hefted it in his hands.

Gravik wiped the sweat off of his face. "Yeah. I was told it's the weapon they used to immobilize the creature."

Kanan measured Gravik's expression. The guy was really scared of this Hutt character. He and Hera would have to be careful when dropping off the package. "Interesting rifle…" He set it back in the box and resealed it.

Gravik pulled credits from his pocket and dropped them into Kanan's hand. The former Jedi counted them, then motioned for the rest from the smuggler, who sighed and dropped the rest of the chips into Kanan's hand. He tucked them away and Gravik continued speaking, "Upon landing on Tatooine, my agent Sayed Jan will pay you the rest. He will meet you in the Mos Eisley spaceport after you deliver to Jabba."

"Sounds like a plan." Kanan laid the smaller box on top of the shipping crate. He pointed a finger at Gravik as his hand found the button to activate the suspensors. "You cross me and I'll hunt you down." He used his most menacing tone for a little insurance, then began pushing the package to the airlock as Gravik nervously watched him go.

* * *

They were in the middle of the first of several jumps to Tatooine when Kanan found himself in the middle of the cargo bay, staring down at the two boxes. Thoughtfully, he reached out and opened the smaller box. He unlocked the top and reached in for the blaster rifle, turning it over in his hands. Something was important about this rifle. It had been tugging at him all day.

He searched it for identification marks and found AB-75 and LMFC. Well, that was no help at all.

He sighed and slipped down against the shipping container to rest his back against its side, still holding the rifle in his hands.

The wrappings on both ends were well-worn. The rifle seemed to have seen heavy usage and been lovingly cared for by its previous owner. Why would the owner let such an interesting weapon go? He raised an eyebrow, running his hand along the gun's grips. The owner had held this gun in just the same way, he could feel. This weapon had been used to protect others...he didn't know how he knew that, but he did. He realized that he had been unconsciously reaching into the sea of light of the Force to sense things about the owner of this gun, in an effort to understand what had been nagging at him. Hera's voice broke his concentration, and he looked up, almost startled.

"Hey, Kanan?"

He blinked, looking up at the railing above. She was there, leaning over it and watching him.

"Yeah?"

"Dinner's ready...Hungry?"

He stood up and carried the rifle with him as he climbed the ladder two rungs at a time. "Yeah." When they reached the kitchen, he held the blaster rifle out to Hera. "This rifle was supposedly the one used to take down that sabercat in the crate back there. There's something strange about it...does this look familiar at all to you?"

She examined it. "Not really. It doesn't look like anything I've seen before."

"Yeah..." Kanan took it back when she offered it back. He ducked in his cabin, tucking the rifle into the corner. "Maybe I can ask Chop about it later. I just have this weird feeling about it."

"Is it a weird Jedi feeling? Or just a feeling?" She dished up some of the soup she'd thrown together, and handed a steaming bowl to Kanan.

"Not sure. I just think I'll be glad when we get this job over with." He grumbled, almost to himself. "Not looking forward to dealing with a Hutt."

"Thirty hours till we reach Tatooine. Then we'll drop this shipment off and be done. The payment's worth it and it'll keep the Ghost in fuel and us in food for quite a while. We'll just have to watch our backs, that's all."

"Yeah." He replied, but he was still not convinced.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Yay! I got out another chapter for the weekend. This one is short, but should answer any questions you had at the end of chapter 12. I hope people are still enjoying it. Thanks to Kgirl and my guest reviewer on the last chapter. Please leave a review if you liked! Ideas about what people would like to see next are welcome too...I will work them in if I can.**

* * *

13.

Kanan's sudden movement in the bed woke Hera from her sleep. She realized that he was sitting on the edge of the bed, just staring into space. Then he ran his hands through his hair.

"Kanan?"

"Yeah." He whispered. His voice was uneven and worried. "Hera. There's something really wrong..."

"Did you have another nightmare?" She asked, instantly awake and concern evident in her voice as she raised up and placed a hand on his arm.

"Yes. No...I mean...the shipment..." His breath was still ragged. In the dream, he felt as if he couldn't breathe. He'd felt a confining, suffocating closeness that spurred him into a panic. He couldn't see; he'd felt pain; every muscle in his body had ached with his struggle to fight back, to breathe. Then there had been blackness...a death or sleep or SOMETHING. He shuddered. "It's something to do with the...the crate…I need to take a closer look."

He stood up, shivering in the chilled air of the ship. She threw him his shirt from beside the bed. "Get dressed and we'll check it out."

She tugged on a robe, wrapping it around herself as he pulled on clothes. They headed for the cargo bay, Kanan ducking into his quarters to grab his lightsaber. She caught his grim expression as he clicked the two pieces together and led the way. She was glad that she had him by her side.

Kanan felt the Force pulsing around him the closer he was to the crate. The call of it was nudging him here-its throbbing seemed to drown out almost everything. Without saying anything, he reached down and popped off the top of the box and slid it off onto the floor, this time completely revealing the contents.

They looked in and Kanan felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Oh no." Hera breathed.

The claw that Kanan had seen before was the same, but with the top completely off, they both saw the rest of the creature encased in the carbonite. It was not a sabercat.

The pain-twisted face of a Lasat stared back at them. With one frozen claw outstretched, they felt as if the creature was entreating them for help.

* * *

"Most are dead or either slaves for the Empire." Hera said, as they stood looking down.

"That son-of-a-bantha." Kanan muttered. "He didn't want me to look in the crate. I did, but I didn't take the top all the way off."

"What do we do?" Hera looked up. "We can't just...deliver him up to that Hutt. To be hung on a wall somewhere like a trophy." Her eyes were full of worry, concern and anger.

"Yeah. Tonnus Gravik is going to have to watch himself around Jabba for longer than he thought. This is one delivery we're not gonna make."

"How do we...get him out of there?" Hera breathed.

"Stand back a little." Kanan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hand outraised. Hera watched in surprise as the carbonite rectangle raised out of the container and came to rest gently on the floor of the cargo bay. As aware as she was of Kanan being a Force user, she thought she would never get used to seeing what he could really do with his ability. It truly was amazing.

"Oh my god." Hera murmured, seeing the full size of the Lasat. "I wonder how long he's been...like this?"

"Hard to tell." Kanan was kneeling, looking over the controls that regulated the hibernation of the being inside it. "If we let him out here, we might be trapped in space with one mad Lasat on our hands. We were always told at the Jedi temple what great fighters they were."

"Oh Kanan. We can't leave him in there." Hera entreated him with her green eyes and a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not suggesting that. I just...want us to be prepared. If he's been in for some time, he may have hibernation sickness. In that case, he wouldn't be an immediate danger to us if he wakes up grouchy, but we'll need to get him to the medbay."

"Chop..." Hera pressed her com. "Divert from our course."

There were some inquisitive warbles.

"Doesn't matter. Just somewhere uninhabited where we can hang out a bit. I don't care, as long as it's in the other direction from Tatooine."

"Hera, go get a sedative ready and bring it back here. Just in case." Kanan said. He knew how he would feel if he woke up from this situation, and it was better to expect the worst and be surprised than be caught off guard.

Hera left and Kanan continued looking down at the block of carbonite. He reached out a hand over the creature's face, attempting to contact the being within. There was nothing except a low, muted sense of life. When he looked up, Hera was back, holding a sprayhypo.

"Okay. If you have to, hit him a couple of times with that. I don't want to have to hurt him or have him hurt me before he realizes we're friendly."

"Ready." She crouched beside the block, waiting as Kanan hit the controls. There was a bright reddish glow followed by beams of light as the substance vaporized and the form of the being inside became clear.

Apparently the poor Lasat had been in hibernation for an extended period of time and was weak and shaky. He tried to sit up, but fell back, muscles betraying him. His purple fur was damp with sweat and his eyes unfocused and blinking.

Kanan laid a hand on his shoulder. "We're-"

The Lasat's will was stronger than his weakened state, however, and he managed to roll away from Kanan's hand and move enough to regain a low crouch on all fours beside the block of carbonite. He was deceptively fast for such a large size and looked ready to spring upon them at any moment.

A low growling was the only sound he made as he tried to look around at his unseen "attackers."

"Woah, there." Kanan said softly. "We're friends. Trying to help you."

"Don't...kriffin' believe...you." He was panting with the effort of speaking. Then his legs began to tremble and he fell back.

Hera took her chance when he fell and slapped him in the shoulder with the sprayhypo. He growled and swung in her direction, but she leaped out of the way of his claw-tipped paw.

"Karablast..." He slipped again as he tried to get up but this time he stayed down, eyes closing in unconsciousness.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Yes, Zeb is staying! (Yay!) He's a hard one to write, but I gave it my best shot here. I hope you guys are still reading. I'm attempting to update once a week...so hopefully it won't be long until the next time. Please let me know what you think. I live for your reviews!

* * *

14.

"His vitals are strong," Hera reported from where she stood, monitoring the strapped in Lasat on the medbay table. "He should be coming around soon."

"I think he'll be fine," Kanan said, standing on the other side of the Lasat, examining his face. He had apparently fought it out with whomever had frozen him in carbonite. The creature's face was cut in several places, the cuts somewhat healed, but not completely. Kanan hadn't really seen many Lasat in his life and hadn't expected to after the Empire had practically exterminated the whole race from their planet of Lasan. "Hera...if we hadn't looked in the box..." He looked up at her, "this guy would've been a trophy on a wall for that Hutt. I've got a bone to pick with that Gravik guy if I ever see him again."

"You and me both," she replied, taking a cool cloth and wiping the Lasat's face gently.

The creature came around slowly, groggy from the sedative on top of everything else. This time, he seemed to be able to discern shapes in front of him, but he didn't make eye contact with them or focus on them at first. His large green eyes blinked in the bright light shining down.

"Take it easy there..." she soothed. "How do you feel?" She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.

"W..wh..where am I?" The Lasat turned his head both ways, attempting to see his surroundings with no success. His anxiety seemed to increase the longer he tried to see something.

"You're on our ship, the _Ghost_. I'm Hera Syndulla and this is Kanan Jarrus." Kanan put a hand on the creature's other shoulder. "You're safe. We're not going to hurt you."

"Yeah, okay...if you mean well, why am I strapped down?" He growled suspicously as he strained against the straps that held him down.

"We were a little worried you might think we were the ones that put you in that block of carbonite. You woke up a bit grouchy, but it's understandable." Hera said, reaching over and released the straps. He began to sit up, then groaned and laid back against the pillow.

"Just rest," Kanan added. "You're weak from hibernation sickness. The blindness is only temporary. Any idea how or why you were turned into a Lasat popsicle?"

The fur-covered creature thought a moment, then shook his head. "No. It's all a blur in my mind. What...what did you say your names were again?"

"I'm Kanan and that's Hera."

"I'm Zeb. Garazeb Orellios. Thanks for gettin' me out of there."

* * *

Zeb opened his eyes and for the first time in two days, he was able to see. Kanan had brought him up from the medbay yesterday, and had settled him into quarters across from his own. He'd slept almost around the clock, waking up only to eat, and then collapsing back down into a deep sleep.

Now he was able to look around the tiny room and see details, although they were blurry. There were two bunks, but other than that, the room was pretty much empty. His clothes, now free of blood and a lot cleaner than they had been, were neatly folded and stacked on a chair sitting to the side. With a groan, he sat up and slowly got dressed. It was a long process because his equilibrium was off, and when he was done, he had to rest for a while.

The male and female that had helped him, Kanan and Hera, were certainly different than he'd first thought. He had to work hard not to let a thread of suspicion weave its way into his mind; he'd not had anyone treat him well in such a long time. After the fall of Lasan to the Empire, he had found very few friends in the galaxy. The ones that recognized him as a Lasat felt as if he was bad luck, and they either ignored him or tried to take him prisoner to turn him in to the Empire for a few credits. The ones who didn't recognize him as a Lasat merely thought he was some sort of strange Wookie and left him alone. But these two...they had fed him, dressed his wounds and told him he was safe here. He felt caught between disbelief and an overwhelming feeling that he owed them a debt...a debt he meant to repay.

Unsteady, but stronger now after a rest, he moved across the room and opened his door. Their voices came to him from somewhere down the hallway. He couldn't make out the words at first, and only caught bits and pieces as he walked into the hallway.

"...think he was meant to be here."

"You felt it? That he was...really MEANT to be here?"

"Yeah."

Zeb huffed out a sigh and shuffled his feet a little as he made his way into the small common area and kitchen. He didn't want them to think he was trying to eavesdrop. As they looked up at him, he took the seat across, lowering himself down with a grimace. "I thought a change of scenery was due, now that I can actually...uh...heh...see the scenery a bit." He looked from one of them to the other, noticing a strange expression on the Twi'lek's face. Worry. About him?

Hera reached out to take his big paw in her hands. "How are you feeling?" Her voice was warm and kind. The way she asked let Zeb know again that she really did care. He tried furiously to blink away the tears that suddenly threatened his vision.

"Better. I'm uh...sorry about before. If I'd been able to see both of you, I would have known-that people like you...uh...didn't mean me any harm." He swallowed hard, still fighting his emotions and uncomfortable with showing it. "Not being able to see...made it worse."

"We understand. More than you could know," Kanan said softly. This Lasat was probably one of the last of his kind. Kanan understood that feeling well. His research with Chopper and Hera on the rifle earlier this afternoon had given him a lot to think about, and if it was true, he and Zeb were a lot more alike than Zeb knew.

"Zeb." Hera began, trying to change the subject to ease Zeb's anxiety while Kanan seemed to be musing on something. "You don't remember any of what happened to you?"

"Well...I had been taking a job or two here and there as a bodyguard after...after Lasan." A quick check of their eyes let him know he didn't have to explain any more than that. "A few times, I had a job as a bouncer at some of the clubs on couple of planets near Lothal. I..." He shook his head. "I don't know. I seem to remember a fight, a shot to the face, then everything turning fuzzy." He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "Karablast. I'm just not sure."

"It's okay." Hera soothed. "Be patient. It might come back to you later."

"How did I get here...as in here on your ship?" Zeb asked.

"Well...that's a bit of a story." Kanan began, giving half a smile to Zeb. "We...well...we ship cargo for people who don't want a lot of questions. We don't ship slaves or spice, but...other than that, we don't mind slipping past an Empire blockade or two, if you know what I mean. This guy named Tonnus Gravik contacted us to deliver a carbonite-frozen sabercat to a Hutt. Specifically, Jabba the Hutt on Tatooine. Any of those names sound familiar?"

"Maybe that Hutt guy. But not because I've had any dealings with him personally or anything."

"Well, this Gravik was a smuggler in a bad spot with Jabba. Supposedly this rare 'sabercat' was to pay off a debt. I opened the container, but...but I didn't know...about you. I mean I saw your-" he gestured, "-paw, but I didn't take the cover completely off. I just assumed the guy was telling the truth. The story seemed legit to me at the moment." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I should've asked more questions."

"There was no way you could've known." Zeb said.

"Yeah, but all the same..." Hera began. She reached into a pocket of her flight suit, then set a large stack of credits down on the table in front of Zeb. "It wouldn't be right of us to keep these."

Zeb looked at the golden bars and then back up at Hera. "This is what you got paid for the job?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah. Half of it, anyway." Hera shrugged. "We were supposed to get the other half on Tatooine. Anyway, it's yours."

Zeb shook his head. This was a lot of money, money that he knew they must need. Running a ship had to be expensive. By not delivering him to the Hutt as they'd contracted to do, he realized that they were losing out on a ton of credits. Without even batting an eye. It said a lot about them.

He narrowed his eyes and looked from the Twi'lek to the human with the blue-green eyes. They were so different than the people he'd had dealings with. Honest and straightforward. Concerned with doing the right thing. A lot like the Honor Guard of Lasan. "No. I owe it to you. For saving me." He pushed it back across the table to them.

"Hey, now look...we haven't done anything..." Kanan began to protest.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but shut up about it. I'm not likely to change my mind once I have it made up, so you're wasting your time, friend." The words were brusque, but he smiled as he leaned back, crossing his hairy arms across his chest.

"You're crazy to turn down credits." Kanan shook his head, but his eyes were still studying Zeb, Weighing and measuring him. "But maybe you won't turn this down." He said cryptically before he got up, went into his quarters and came back with something large in his hands. He held it out to Zeb wordlessly.

Zeb's blurry vision didn't allow him to see it at first, but then his large peridot-colored eyes widened. Stunned, he held out his hands as Kanan placed the weapon into them.

"This is a bo-rifle, isn't it? The exclusive weapon of the Lasan Honor Guard." Kanan waited for his reaction.

Zeb was speechless. Ever since he'd awoken in this strange place, something had been missing. His bo-rifle had been his prized possession; it was the only thing that he had from his past. After awakening on the _Ghost_ , he'd never dared hope that somehow he'd find it again.

He trailed his fingers over the weapon fondly. "Yes. It's mine." He said simply, feeling the tears well in his eyes.

Kanan placed his hand on Zeb's shoulder wordlessly sharing the feeling of loss with the Lasat. He'd informed Hera of his suspicions and while Zeb had been sleeping, they had searched for information on the holonet. Together, they'd figured out what the rifle was. Kanan knew a little about the Lasat from his studies in the Jedi temple so he'd been able to put two and two together.

"Hey. Uh...Don't advertise that fact." Zeb said softly, blinking away tears before they fell. "With all the bucketheads about now a days..."

"Don't worry." Hera said, leaning forward to catch his eyes. "We know how to keep secrets..."

"And we're no friend of bucketheads or any Imps, for that matter." Kanan grinned.

"Now you guys sound like my type of people." Zeb said with admiration.

"Zeb, feel free to stay with us. As long as you want to." Hera offered, mostly because she trusted Kanan's feeling about the fierce Lasat warrior sitting in front of her, but also because she could sense his brave, honest spirit. The gleam in his eyes at Kanan's remark, and the note in his voice said more than his words ever would. He would fit in with them, she was sure. Kanan's words that he felt that Zeb was supposed to be with them, also bolstered her confidence about this decision.

Ever since she had left home, her eventual plan was to have her own 'crew' to fight the Empire. She didn't know how much good one ship and a few people could do, but she had to do something. Her heart had known that Kanan would be an asset if he decided to come with her and it wouldn't lead her astray now.

Not wanting to accept charity longer than he absolutely needed to, Zeb struggled to find the right way to answer. Kanan broke in first, however, "Maybe we can locate this Gravik sleemo and find out who put you in that block of carbonite. I think paying him another visit might give us some info. I don't appreciate being lied to."

Again, Zeb's eyes gleamed. "Now that sounds like a plan I can get behind." He grinned, pounding one fist into his other hand at the thought of confrontation. "Count me in."

"I'll put some feelers out." Hera said, getting up. "It's time for me to check in with Chop anyway. Maybe you can grab a nap, Zeb." She leaned over, letting the sweetness tinge her voice the way she knew would drive Kanan crazy. "Think you could make something to eat for all of us, love?" she asked the Jedi, who nodded. Then, she let her eyes slide to Zeb. "He's a surprisingly good cook. Get him to tell you about the time he worked as a chef in a Melahnese place on Norda."

Kanan groaned as Hera turned to head back to the front of the ship. "That was only for a weekend! And it wasn't my fault..."

"Don't let him leave out a detail." She called over her shoulder.

"All right. I gotta hear this story now." Zeb set the rifle down on the table and leaned forward avidly.

"Okay, look..." Kanan explained as he got up to head into the kitchen. "It all started when I met this Theelin who needed a favor..."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry the updates are a little slow. School is back in session and I'm not on break until September... so work is getting in the way of fanfic! (lol) Hope you hang with me and keep reading! Thanks for all the reviews! (And PS-working on a one shot that focuses on Kanan's time before he met Hera...Plenty of last Jedi angst in that one, but it's not perfect yet...so I'm still working on it. It's coming soon!)

* * *

15.

Zeb and Kanan threw up the hoods of their cloaks before they made their way outside of the Phantom to watch the Iron Hammer land. Hera was waiting in the cloud cover, masking her signature so that she was undetectable to the smugglers while she waited for Zeb or Kanan to break radio silence, either to tell her that the mission had been successful or that they needed assistance. Kanan hoped it wouldn't come to that; maybe he and Zeb could take care of this on their own.

"Nice ship." Zeb muttered as he watched it land.

"Yeah. Smuggling's been really lucrative since the Empire, I'm sure." Kanan murmured as he began bringing out empty crates from the Phantom.

They made a stack by the time the crew of three exited the Iron Hammer. Two guys were apparently the muscle, and Gravik led the group as he came over.

"So whatcha got for me?" Gravik asked as he leaned down where the slightly smaller figure was checking the suspensors on the crates.

The man finally looked up when Gravik got close; the smuggler could see that the cloaked human had a blaster poking out of his sleeve right at his head. Kanan stood up and took a step back to put distance between them. "I've got a return for you. Someone wants to lodge a complaint. Zeb."

The Lasat already had his bo-rifle covering the other two smugglers. "Yeah, I'm gonna need a refund." He smiled his most intimidating smile as he kept his rifle trained on the two men that Gravik had brought as backup. "Now you're gonna tell me who's bright idea it was to freeze me and box me up like a carton of bantha steaks before I start breaking bones." There was no answer, so Zeb hit the closest man with the end of his bo-rifle, the voltage running through him and making him fall to the ground.

"Okay, okay, stop." The friend of the stricken man held up both hands. "Aw, come on. You sure you don't wanna go a round with me?" Zeb looked disappointed.

The other smuggler shook his head, waving both hands in apparent defeat. Evidently he didn't want to end up like his comrade on the ground. Kanan turned his head at the sudden movement.

"Okay...okay..." Gravik took a step forward. "I paid some guys on Ylix to do it. Smuggling's been kinda tough since the Empire...and..." With one quick movement, he made a leap for Kanan.

At the same time, the smuggler Zeb was covering plowed into him. Zeb tried to strike but his opponent closed distance fast and his bo-rifle went flying. The two of them went at each other with fists, but the human had no chance with Zeb. By the time he was done, the man on the ground was groaning and spitting blood.

When Zeb turned, Kanan finally had the slippery smuggler in a headlock. "Tell us more about Ylix." Kanan said into Gravik's ear.

"Kriff! Okay, okay. I just hired two guys off the street. I paid 'em to slip something in your drink at this club. But you fought 'em off. One ended up with a broken arm and the other with a broken leg before you went down." Gravik flicked his wrist, then made a punching motion at Kanan's body behind him. It was at an awkward angle and probably couldn't do much to hurt the tall man, but Zeb came to the rescue anyway. He snatched Tonnus Gravik from Kanan's grip and barely missed the hidden blade in Gravik's hand that slashed at him. The Lasat pried it from his clutches and slung it away.

Zeb growled at the smuggler. "I hear about you EVER haulin' any live cargo again, and I'll take off your head." He drew back his fist when he spoke, then hit Gravik hard enough to cause unconsciousness. Then he let Gravik slump to the ground.

"Uh, not bad for the two of us, eh?" Zeb grinned at Kanan, but his grin faded when he saw the red seeping through the stab mark in Kanan's green sweater. "Karablast..." He said as he reached forward and Kanan fell into his grip.

"Damn. I shoulda seen that one coming." Kanan muttered as Zeb slung an arm around him and walked him the short way to the Phantom.

"He was a sneaky little son-of-a-sith, wasn't he? I should go give him what he's got comin'..." Zeb turned his head partially, but then turned back at Kanan's groan. "But I promised Hera I'd get you back safe and sound. I'm not sure this counts, though." Gently, he deposited Kanan on the floor of the Phantom and searched the small medical kit aboard. There was a painkiller as well as a coagulant spray hypo, both of which he administered before he pulled the emergency blanket and wrapped it around his new friend.

"Captain," he activated his com as he moved to begin takeoff procedures.

"I read you." Hera replied, her voice sounding worried.

"We're headed back to your position. Got one wounded, but he's stable." Kanan had warned him against using names on the coms, so he was purposefully vague.

"Meet you at the rendezvous." She said hurriedly.

* * *

"That kriffing Gravik had a hidden blade. It was a dead blade, or it might have been worse." Zeb was still angry at the cheap shot by the smuggler as he helped Kanan onto the Ghost.

"I'm fine." Kanan tried to turn to hide the blood on his shirt as he waved a dismissive hand. "Just a change of clothes and I'm back in action. Zeb pulled that guy off of me before he could do any damage." He looked up at her with a grin, leaning on Zeb's shoulder.

It was obvious he was under the influence of a painkiller from his words and the widened pupils of his eyes. She came over to put an arm around his shoulders. "Sure, love. Your change of clothes is in the medbay." She and Zeb began to move him that way as he tried to protest.

"Really, no need for the medbay. Zeb slapped some engine tape on it and it's fine. I feel great." Kanan said.

Hera gave him a reluctant smile. This was serious, but she couldn't help it when he conjured up that picture of Zeb tending to him in that way in her head. "Engine tape can do a lot of things, love, but I don't think it'll do that."

When she scanned him, she saw the damage was repairable by the supplies and technology aboard the Ghost. This went a long way to make her feel better. "He didn't hit anything serious, love. The bleeding is slowing, and you'll be sore, but fine." She reassured Kanan as she sealed and bandaged the wound. "This'll prevent infection," she warned Kanan before she hit him with the hypo.

She needn't have worried; he didn't feel a thing. His blue-green eyes were starting to grow sleepy, however. "This bed does suck." He sat up after trying to find a comfortable position. "Let's find somewhere else." He murmured as he leaned against her and nuzzled his head into her neck.

"Hmmm, I can see I'm not the only one who gets flirty when under the influence." She teased.

After a moment, she took his face in both of her hands, then pressed her forehead against his own and looked into his eyes, letting all her worry and love show. She could have said how much she loved him, how thankful she was that he was okay, or how she didn't know what she would do if she lost him, but there was no need. The wordless communication passed between them as they shared each other's warm breath.

"Okay." She said simply.

"Okay." He replied, leaning in to kiss her. When they broke, she put an arm around him and helped him to his feet. She turned to see Zeb, where he had been behind them, but the Lasat had obviously decided to give them their privacy.

"Let's go find Zeb," she said, "I think I want to offer him a job."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Hi, everyone. Sorry for the long pause on this story. I had trouble knowing where to go next, and real life has been very interruptive to fanfic lately. I actually took this story in three different directions before I settled on this one, so I hope I made the right choice. I also hope you're all still reading. In this chapter, Zeb is about to really become one of the family and wounded Kanan takes an unexpected turn.

16.

Zeb agreed wholeheartedly to stay on as part of the _Ghost_ crew. Hera gave him the cabin across from Kanan's and she thought it was good that they would have another experienced fighter as back up on missions. She made plans to split the profits four ways, one part for each of them and one for maintenance, upkeep and fuel for the _Ghost_.

Kanan's healing seemed to be going well at first, but it was the fourth day after the fight with the smuggler that he reached for the caf on the top shelf in the common room and drew back quickly in pain. The night before, when he'd cleaned and bandaged the knife wound again, he'd noticed that it looked red and angry, but he'd dismissed it. He didn't say anything, but he grimaced and doubled over a little and was that way when Hera entered the common room.

"You okay?" Hera made her way across the room to him.

"Yeah. You weren't kidding about being sore." He murmured, putting the canister of caf on the counter and placing a hand over where the pain was.

She studied him. "If you're complaining, it must be pretty bad. Come on." She led him over to the table and seated him there while she went to get the first aid kit.

As she removed the bandage, she could feel that the injured area was hot underneath. The ugly, painful-looking slash and the red streaks going away from the wound were bad signs. "Kanan. When did it start hurting like this?"

"Most of the day yesterday. I thought I'd just moved the wrong way, slept on it the wrong way or something." He said, grimacing at her touch.

She placed her hand on his forehead. It was warm. She grabbed a device from the first aid kit and placed it against his brow. "You have a slight fever." She said, narrowing her eyes as she examined the readout. His face did look a little pale, with blotches of color on his cheeks.

"Hera," Zeb called, "I got that diagnostic done...Hey what's up?" Zeb climbed down from the Phantom and came over.

"His wound. It's infected," Hera said distractedly. She turned back to Kanan. "I gave you a wide-spectrum antibiotic. It should have taken care of it," she frowned. "I've got one more we can try. But I want you to rest this time. No more toughing it out."

"I'll be okay..." He protested weakly.

"Nope. We'll take the next few shifts at the helm while you rest up," Zeb said, as Hera pressed a sprayhypo to his arm.

After searching a moment, she hit him with another hypo. "For the fever," she said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've been wounded, you know." He only protested a little bit before giving in. The idea of curling up in bed and going to sleep sounded good.

Hera's forehead was creased in worry as she began to clean the area as carefully as she could. After she was satisfied, she applied the last of their bacta and covered the slash with a bandage. "Okay. Bed for you."

"Only if it's your room." He teased.

"Really." She rolled her eyes in mock frustration, then took his arm. The feel of his too-warm skin under her hand was troubling. "C'mon, love."

* * *

Zeb took the first watch that night. Before Kanan had taken a bad turn, they had picked up some supplies and were now heading back out to the far Outer Rim. On watch, he spent most of his time monitoring com traffic and eavesdropping on some Imperial transmissions to find out anything he could. As far as communications, Hera's equipment was top-notch and knowing what the Empire was up to could afford them an advantage if they were caught in a bad situation.

His eyes were just starting to get heavy as he made some notations of com traffic. "Need some blasted caf," he muttered, standing up and stretching, intending on brewing a pot in the galley. It was then that he heard a woosh...not a normal sound for the _Ghost_. He swung around and was stunned to see the electric blue slash of a lightsaber, glowing in the dark.

Kanan was holding the blade. He had taken a low stance at Hera's door, holding it above his head, but level with the deck. He was completely still, his eyes shining in the blue reflected light of the laser sword. It gave Zeb an eerie feeling, as if he was dreaming.

He took a few steps into the hallway, unsure of what to say, but Kanan spoke first. "Get behind me, Zeb," he said in a low voice that was heavy with tension. "Now."

As he drew closer, he could see that something was really wrong with his friend. Kanan's eyes were glazed and fixed on something that Zeb couldn't see. His skin was sheened with sweat and the hand holding the Jedi weapon shook just a little.

Zeb could feel a sudden thickness in the air, it was as if the very air itself became luminescent around his friend, but he didn't really understand it.

"It's coming...the darkness. Sith...the one in black. We have to be ready..." He mumbled, some of the words incoherent. His free hand wiped the sweat from his face as his glassy eyes struggled to focus on the invisible threat.

"You're sick, Kanan." Zeb had taken up a position near Kanan and began to try and reason with him. "I think you're fever's gotten worse. Let me wake Hera."

Kanan swung his sword in a tight arc, as if readying himself for an attack, his gaze riveted on the shadows. Zeb had no idea how he'd managed not to cut holes in the deck and ceiling with that move, but his new friend seemed to be practiced with his blue blade.

"Zeb. We've got to save the others." The muttered words, especially the "we," did make Zeb feel a little bit better at not being seen as the enemy, although he had no idea who "the others" were.

"It's okay. There's no threat," he soothed. He put his hand on Kanan's shoulder and felt the burning heat though his paw pads. "Karablast. You're on fire."

"No." A shudder went through Kanan. "It's cold. Everything's cold. The dark side..."

From Zeb's new position, he was able to palm the door, and it swooshed open. "Hera." He hissed. "Need some help out here with the big guy."

The Twi'lek was instantly on her feet. She paused momentarily when she noticed the hall was lit by the brilliant blue of Kanan's lightsaber. "Kriff." She whispered to herself before she ran over.

"Kanan, love." She put her hand on his shoulder and winced at the heat she felt. He was so hot that he had to be hallucinating, seeing threats that weren't there. "Everything's okay. We're safe, love. Look at me."

Kanan caught her out of the corner of his eye, but didn't move. He was on the precipice of action, poised to strike out at the shadows of his mind.

Slowly, Hera reached up and placed a hand on his heated cheek and turned his face to her. "Everything's fine." She said. "There's no one here but you, me and Zeb. I promise."

The saber dropped and disengaged. Hera breathed a sigh of relief, taking it carefully from Kanan's hand. She slipped it behind her, waving it toward Zeb, who took it and held it behind him.

"Come lie down," she pulled Kanan back into the room. "Zeb, please get some cold packs from the galley."

"On it." Zeb called. He hesitated, not knowing what to do with Kanan's lightsaber. He settled on placing it on his own bunk, knowing that Kanan wouldn't think to look for it there if he got up again. He grabbed several cold packs from the fridge, wrapping one of them in a towel.

"Here, put this on his head." He gave Hera the towel wrapped cold pack. She placed it on Kanan's forehead, then took the two extras and placed them on his chest to try and cool him down. It wasn't much, but it was the best she had right now.

"Zeb, I need..." she began, but he interrupted.

"Yep. Be right back." Zeb came back with some supplies from the medbay and Hera gave him a grateful smile. She took Kanan's temperature, then immediately gave him a hypo of fever reducer. In fact, she hit him twice with it, Zeb noticed.

He made a face and groaned and she handed the hypo back to Zeb. "I know, love." Hera smoothed back Kanan's sweaty hair and repositioned the cool pack on his forehead. "Just rest. Go back to sleep."

It didn't take long before Kanan fell into a fitful slumber. She looked up at Zeb, who was watching them carefully. "I. . .I know you must have questions." Hera began hesitantly.

"Later. Right now, we need to get Kanan to a med center. He's very sick...I can smell it on him." Zeb looked down at Kanan's drawn face. This was bad. His keen senses had smelled death before, and this wasn't as bad as that, but it was close.

"Zeb. We can't." Hera said, worry twisting her features.

"Karablast, Hera! Why not?"

Hera reached out and smoothed back Kanan's hair as she spoke. He didn't feel quite as warm as he'd felt before, or was that just her imagination? "The Empire. If they get their hands on him, they'll kill him." Most med centers had some connection with the Empire, and she knew what they would do if they tested him and found he was a Force user. Death would be nothing compared to what they would put him through.

Zeb let out a sigh of frustration. "Hera, he'll die anyway if we don't get him help."

"I have a contact that might be able to help us. Stay with him. I'll be right back."

Zeb sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at Kanan as Hera left the room. His friend's uneasy sleep seemed to settle as the fever reducer kicked in, and he was deeply asleep by the time Zeb heard Hera's terse voice speaking to someone on the com. It almost sounded like an argument. Then there was quiet. Something seemed settled. When Hera returned, Zeb looked up at her.

"Someone is being sent to help us. We're supposed to sit tight and they will be here in 12 hours." Hera came over to Zeb and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We need to talk. Want some caf?" As she had spoken, she reached for the thermometer and took another reading. "The fever's come down a few degrees, so we can leave the door open and hear him if he wakes."

"Sure." Zeb followed her to the common room. Neither of them said anything as she made caf. Zeb was lost in the confused jumble of his thoughts. Why couldn't Kanan just use a false name with the med center? Sure, the Empire might want Kanan because he'd been in some scrapes with them, but fake identification would solve that easily, right? Hera had sources, for that, surely. She had plenty of false signatures for the ship.

And what was up with the lightsaber? Perhaps Kanan or Hera had known one of the many Jedi that had been tracked down and murdered over the years. Surely that had to be it. In Kanan's fevered state, maybe he'd grabbed it, thinking there was some sort of threat on the ship…

 _Sith...the one in black…_

Kanan's fevered words made Zeb shiver. What in Ashla's name did all this mean?

 _The darkness...it's coming..._

Hera interrupted his musings when she came over with two mugs. She set them down on the table and took a seat, cradling her mug in two hands and hesitating to speak as she attempted to gather her thoughts.

"Hera. Whatever it is, you can trust me. I know we haven't known each other that long, but I swear to you I would never betray you or Kanan."

"I know that." She said, one corner of her mouth turning up in a rueful smile. She met his eyes and leaned forward. "I know. It's just...It's not my story to tell, but...Zeb." She took a deep breath and came out with it all at once. "You should know that Kanan's a Jedi."

Zeb's brow furrowed. "There are no more Jedi, Hera."

She just looked at him, waiting for it to sink in.

"He's not even old enough for that...he'd have to be at least…" he trailed off. Was it possible…?

"Zeb. He was only a kid. He was just a... 'padawan...'" she had to search for the word, "…a student. He had been fighting in the war only for a few mere months when the purge happened. He escaped, but his master was murdered right in front of him. She died so that he could get away."

"You're serious." He murmured.

"I wish I wasn't," she leaned back, bringing both of her hands back to the mug. The caf warmed her cold hands, but it couldn't warm up the chill inside of her. She took a sip. "I don't know much about Jedi...except I can tell that his master was his only family to speak of. You can hear it in his voice when he speaks of her." She had no words to explain the raw pain that Kanan had shared with her, so she just hoped that the Lasat would understand. "Now we're all he's got, Zeb. Me and you."

"Karablast." Zeb muttered thoughtfully. He'd lost everything dear to him as well. But not when he was a blasted kit! That was just too much. "How...how old was he when it happened?"

"Fourteen. Only fourteen. They hunted him, everywhere he went. I don't know how he survived," she answered, her jaw tightening to hold back her emotions.

"Karablast." Zeb muttered again, his paw clenching into a taloned fist. Anger bloomed in him like an explosion and he wished there were a few bucketheads around to smash. That would make him feel a lot better.

"He was going to tell you..." she added, not wanting the Lasat to feel as if they hadn't trusted him with their secrets, "but he's hid who he was for 15 years, Zeb. From everyone. Be patient with him. It's not easy for him to just...lay it all on the table."

Zeb knew what it was like to be the last of his kind; it hurt like kriffing hell. Talking about it was the only thing that hurt more than thinking about it. Hera's whole blasted story made his stomach twist with pain for his friend because he understood the same horror and loneliness. "I can relate."

"I know." She trusted Zeb. He had brought Kanan back alive from their encounter with the smugglers and he was now one of her crew. That was enough for her. Zeb was family.

Her green gaze was steady on the Lasat for a moment and then she reached out and placed a hand on his forearm, squeezing slightly before she stood up, caf in her other hand. "Get some rest, okay? We're in a quiet corner of the rim, so Chopper can monitor things for a while."

Zeb nodded.

Hera started to head back to her room and stopped for a moment, her back to Zeb. "Know what? Right after we woke you, he said he knew you were going to be a part of this crew." She turned her head, and he could see her beauty in profile, soft in the low lights of the ship.

"I'll stay as long as you can put up with me." He replied.

"That's gonna be a long time, Garazeb Orellios. You're one of us now." she said with an exhausted smile before she headed toward her room to watch over Kanan's sleep. The sense of belonging wrapped around his heart like a blanket and it was at this moment that Zeb realized he would follow this Twi'lek anywhere, even into hell, if she only but asked.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 **Author's Note: Here it is...the next chapter. I hope you're still enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Next up, time passes and the Ghost gets a call from someone in dire need... Thank you for all the comments! I do treasure each one!**

* * *

The smaller Dpx Yacht approached them at a slow speed as its pilot gave them the codes that would let them know that they were, indeed, from Fulcrum. After checking the codes with Hera, who wouldn't leave Kanan's side, Zeb had gone back to the cockpit to initiate docking procedures.

Hera was afraid she could feel Kanan crashing. His breathing was quick and labored and his body shook with chills. Twi'lek body temperature was higher than a human's, so Hera had held him the whole time, trying to soothe his shivering. During the past hours, Kanan had been talking in his fitful sleep, some of it coherent and some of it not. Once he'd sat straight up, eyes wide and staring.

" _Master Billaba?" He'd asked, sounding very young and looking right at Zeb before his eyes slid around the room, searching for his long dead teacher. "I've finished meditation practice with Master Yoda and..." He was quite obviously seeing something and somewhere else. After a moment where his large frightened eyes looked around the room, it seemed as if a horrible realization slammed him and his face crumpled._

" _I'm sorry, love," Hera whispered, her voice full of emotion. She wrapped her arms around Kanan and got him to lay back down. When he settled again, she had explained to Zeb in whispering tones that Billaba had been Kanan's Jedi Master, tears welling in her own eyes the whole time she spoke. Even Zeb had to blink away tears that he wouldn't...couldn't...let fall._

It was all he could do to push the memory away and concentrate on what he was doing. Zeb checked that the seal on the hatch was engaged, then he opened it. A tall, thin woman, holding a bag in one hand, was dressed in white and standing on the other side. She was older, but had a kind face, dark eyes and long grey hair pulled back from her face and out of the way. Her face was clear of makeup or any other enhancements, but she was still beautiful.

She had clearly not expected to see a Lasat on the other side, so she seemed surprised a moment. "Uh...hello. I'd introduce myself, but we're not...supposed to use names."

Zeb nodded, welcoming her in to the _Ghost_ with a gesture. "The patient is in here."

"Please allow me to wash up first," she asked.

Zeb showed her where the fresher was, and then she came out and followed him to Hera's room.

"Oh my goodness," she said softly as they entered Hera's cabin. Hera looked up, weariness in her face, and she moved from the bed, settling Kanan gently back against the pillows. The doctor came over immediately, taking Kanan's wrist in her hand and feeling his thready, fast pulse. "Can you tell me about what's going on?"

Hera described Kanan's injury, and the steps she'd taken to clean and treat it with antibiotics.

The doctor examined Kanan while Hera stood back, biting her lip until she tasted blood. She and Zeb both watched as the doctor first took Kanan's temperature and then began to examine the knife wound. "I think your friend has developed sepsis from the infection." She took a sample from the infected wound and placed it into a small device she retrieved from her bag. She waited a moment, then nodded. "A nasty one, but treatable at this point." At Hera's stricken look, the doctor reassured her about her actions. "What you did for him was correct-in most cases he would have been just fine. It just didn't work for this kind of bug. I don't see this infection often. How was he wounded?"

"A smuggler sucker-punched him with a knife." Zeb said, his face dark with anger. "There's no telling where that sleemo had been."

The doctor nodded. She gave Kanan one more hypo, then did a thorough scan. "No liver or kidney damage, so he should recover fine once the new antibiotic begins to work." She cleaned his wound with several different antiseptics, then explained several different medicines she brought with her so that Hera would know how to treat Kanan if something like this happened again.

Finally, she placed bacta on the wound and a medical bandage patch. "This should seal out anything that wants to try and get in. He'll heal much faster now." The doctor turned to regard Hera and Zeb. "I should stay for at least the first six to eight hours or so. Just to be sure."

Hera nodded. "Of course. I don't know how to thank you..."

"No need to thank me. What you're doing against the Empire is enough." She reached out, took their hands and squeezed them. "When Fulcrum calls, I'm only too happy to help. I brought some supplies for you."

She went back to her ship and brought a small shipping container with her, setting it down on the table in the common room. "This should be enough to restock your medical supplies."

Hera looked in the box and raised her eyes to the older human's face. "I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"Just say that you'll keep fighting. Helping you and whoever Fulcrum sends my way is how I fight the Empire." She narrowed her dark eyes. "Last year, the Imperials came to my practice and confiscated my medical records. And then a few months ago, my patients began to disappear. They are taking some of the younger patients." She looked from Zeb to Hera. "Why they would want to take children is beyond me."

Hera and Zeb exchanged glances, both of them looking sick at heart.

"I'm not the only one. My colleagues, the ones I've dared to ask, report the same thing." She shuddered. "No one has ever heard from any of them again. In some cases even the whole family is. . .just gone." She rubbed her hands over her arms, as if chilled. "I've stopped reporting on young patients that I treat, that way the Empire can't find them as easily."

"You're brave to do what you do," Hera murmured.

"I feel the same way about you." She gave them a sad smile, then as the moment passed, she yawned, seeming embarrassed for her tiredness. "Um...if it's not too much trouble, is there anywhere I can sleep a few hours? It was the middle of the night when I was called here and it was a long trip."

"Of course." Hera showed her the last empty quarters on the _Ghost_ and settled her in. When she went back to check on Kanan, she could see that he was sleeping the deep sleep of exhaustion, but he was less wracked with pain than before and his skin was cooler to the touch.

"You've got to get some rest too." Zeb told her from his position standing in the doorframe, his large arms crossed over his chest as if he would accept no arguments. "I can keep an eye on him."

She looked more at ease, but the pinched look about her face and the dark smudges under her eyes spoke volumes about her own exhaustion. "No..." she said distractedly. "I can't leave him; I'm fine...I just..."

The big Lasat was across the room in a moment. He placed his paws on her shoulders. "You don't have to leave him...just sleep this time, instead of watching. I'll do that."

"I. . .alright." she nodded, slipping into the large bunk with Kanan and resting her face against his shoulder as Zeb took up position as sentinel. It took almost no time before she was asleep, one hand against Kanan's chest, and their breathing almost in rhythm.

* * *

Kanan awoke before the doctor came in for her final check before leaving. The Jedi let his eyes roam around the room for a moment before trying to move. He was lying in a bed, Hera's bed, and he felt like he'd been beaten from head to toe. He tried to remember getting in a brawl, but couldn't. Hera was nestled against him, deeply asleep. He moved experimentally in the bed, trying not to wake her, but he groaned as his joints and muscles complained.

"Kanan. Easy there." Zeb leaned over to place a hand against Kanan's shoulder. "You shouldn't move around too much."

His voice was scratchy as he spoke. "What the kriff happened?" It wasn't a hangover; he rarely had those unless he really tied one on. "Did you get the identification of the speeder that hit me?"

"You had a bit of a rough patch there, but you're going to be okay." Zeb gave him some water, which he drank greedily. At a soft noise, he looked up at the doctor who had appeared in the doorway. "Here's the lady who patched you up...She's a friend, so don't...uh...worry, you know. Fulcrum sent her." The Lasat couldn't think of any other way to explain she wasn't going to turn him in to the Empire without saying too much. Something in Zeb's words awoke Hera and she stood up after squeezing Kanan's hand reassuringly.

While she was checking Kanan over, the doctor ran several scans and reported the results.

"I see that the bacteria count in your bloodstream is lower, and your fever has broken. Looks like the medicine is working. How do you feel?"

"Like I fell out of a speeder...into a bantha pen...face first."

"Yeah, that's about right. This'll help," she gave him a dose from a sprayhypo, then tapped a series of instructions on a datapad which she handed to Hera. "This will tell you what to give him and when." She turned back to Kanan, "It may be a few weeks before you feel stronger, but it'll come. Be patient."

"We'll make sure he doesn't overdo it." Zeb said with a grin. "It's a challenge I'll take on personally."

For a moment, the doctor was a little taken aback by Zeb's toothy grin, but then she responded in kind. "Okay, then, I guess my work here is done." She looked at the three of them in turn.

"I wish there was something we could do to thank you." Hera said again, feeling helpless to repay the risk that this brave woman had taken.

"No need. Just be careful out there."

"I'll show you out." Zeb followed the doctor out, leaving Hera and Kanan alone in the room.

Hera sat on the bed, reaching out to take Kanan's large hand in her own once more.

"What... happened?" He asked.

"The knife wound got infected. You...you were out of it for a while, love, but it's okay now." She reached out and smoothed back his sweaty hair. His forehead was much cooler and it made her feel as if everything in the universe would be okay. Her heart soared. "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head. "Not right now. Just wanna sleep." He moved a little in the bed, rolling to lay on his uninjured side and groaning with the effort.

"Okay," Hera said softly, tucking the blanket back around him. "I'll make you something to eat later, when you're ready." She leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. By the time she got him settled, his eyelids were already growing heavy again.

"Had strange dreams..." Kanan muttered, his eyes finally slipping closed.

"I know. Just rest, love," she whispered, her hand on his hair. "We won't leave you alone. Not for a second. The worst is over"

* * *

Since they were in a pretty calm area in the Outer Rim, they stayed a few days while Kanan recuperated. On the third day, Kanan had been too restless to stay in bed, so Hera and Zeb had settled him in the common room, then Hera went to relieve Chopper for a while, so the astromech could recharge and run routine diagnostics.

Zeb did the cooking this morning. He served up a huge plate of space waffles to Kanan, got them both caf and then sat down to his own plate of waffle-goodness.

Kanan tore into his food, feeling more hungry than he had in days. "These are great Zeb."

"Heh, heh. You must be feeling better." Kanan's appetite went a long way to making the Lasat feel better about his recovery. "Well, you're smelling better anyway..." he joked. Kanan had gotten a shower, with Hera's help, and he did look a bit better. He had more color in his face, and didn't look as weak as he had before.

"You're one to talk about smell, you scruffy nerfherder." Kanan replied.

"Who you callin' scruffy, big guy?"

Both of them chuckled. There was a comfortable silence for a while as they both ate.

"You know, you scared me pretty good the other night."

"Huh?" Kanan looked up, surprised. "Some of it's still kinda fuzzy."

"Well, Hera was looking after you, and I was up monitoring the coms, and then I hear this noise..." Zeb knew from Hera that she hadn't found the right time to mention that she'd had to explain Kanan's past as a Jedi (most of the past few days Kanan had been sleeping), and Zeb felt it might be a good time now.

"Oh kriff. What happened?" Kanan raised an eyebrow.

"You. You were in the hallway, holding...a… lightsaber." Zeb laid his fork down and regarded Kanan seriously. "You were protecting Hera. We kinda had to talk you down because you were hallucinating-the fever and all. Then...uh...Hera let me in on the secret about you being a Jedi."

While talking, Zeb had noticed a tension develop in Kanan's body. His friend pushed back his plate as if he were done, keeping his eyes on Zeb the whole time. The Lasat had the feeling that every sense Kanan had was focused on him. It made him a little uncomfortable, which Kanan also seemed to notice too.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Zeb...I just..."

"No. I'm sorry I had to find out like that. But...I just want to let you know that your secret's safe with me. You can trust me."

"I believe you." Kanan replied. He hadn't exactly read the Lasat's mind, but he'd sensed the emotions flowing through him. He'd gotten admiration, friendship, respect and utter loyalty. All of that reassured him that Zeb was trustworthy and that his first feelings about his new friend had been right all along. "It might be dangerous to know...about me, though."

"Hey. I'm a grown Lasat. I can handle a little danger. That's what makes life worth living, right? The way I see it, we got a lot in common, you and me. We're both the last of our kind. That means we gotta watch each other's backs." He put a hand on Kanan's shoulder and regarded him seriously.

There was a strange mix of gratitude and sadness in the former Jedi's eyes. "Uhm...Thanks. I...haven't had the feeling that someone had my back in a long time before I met Hera. Now I have Hera and you." He shook his head like he didn't understand it. He certainly didn't feel worthy of the two of them...but he would try to be.

"Yeah. I know what you mean." Zeb replied. They were quiet for a moment, letting the feeling of belonging between them sink in.

"I think this calls for more waffles." Zeb got up, went back to the kitchen and surreptitiously looked to see if Kanan resumed eating. He was glad to see his friend had pulled his plate back toward himself and had begun to eat once more. "Need anything?" He called.

"No. I have everything I need," Kanan replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Ok, shameless plug for my other new story-If you liked this, I do have a really short Rebels one-shot that I've published on fanfiction recently, but it's rated M, so you have to really look for it if you're interested in reading it. It's called "Chalactan Roses." Just thought I'd let you guys know, and if you were interested, I'd love to hear what you think. :) Only 3 days until REBELS! Whoo-hoo! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

18.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you guys like this chapter. Sorry someone had to be hurt again, but we all know Sabine was "left for dead" by Ketsu, so that entails injury. Hey, it's fanfic. Hurt/comfort are what we're made of, right? As always, comments are adored! Please leave some! :)

 **Warning** : I don't think this is that bad, but I wanna be careful...Sabine has been through some bad stuff at the hands of these sleemos, so if reading about the **briefest** suggestion of someone who **MIGHT** or **MIGHT NOT** have been sexually assaulted would upset you, then don't read this chapter. There are no details given, however, and you'll see how it all turns out in Chapter 19. All in all, I think it fits the T rating still.

* * *

Hera kept things quiet around the Ghost for the next few weeks, while Kanan regained his strength. They took a few straight shipping jobs, such as shipping a load of meilooruns and a load of bantha hides to the Outer Rim; Zeb doing most of the lifting and Kanan only allowed to "supervise." It worked well, and kept the money coming at a time where Hera wanted to lay low and keep Kanan safe while he healed.

It was hard to keep the Jedi resting because while his body needed rest, his mind was active. Hera tried to distract him with helping listen to Imperial transmissions, but that only went so far. Then, one night while she was going over ship data in bed, she looked over at Kanan, who was sitting on the floor, legs crossed and hands resting on his knees, trying to meditate. He'd been sitting there an hour, unable to quiet his mind. She could tell by the heavy sighs and frequent movements that he hadn't been successful at slipping into a meditative trance. When he was meditating, he was as still as stone.

"Can you help me with something?" she asked suddenly.

He sighed. "Sure. I'm not getting anything done here." He rolled his eyes, slowly got to his feet and sat near her on the bed.

Hera looked at him. "Look. I've been thinking. Now that we have Zeb, there's going to be a lot more we can do against the Empire. We need several things set up ahead of time, like code signs, strategies, escape plans and the like..." she smiled conspiratorially. "Can you do that for us?"

Kanan narrowed his eyes. "Yeah. I think I could whip up something..." For the first time in days, she saw a glint in his eye. "I'll get with Zeb tomorrow...we'll come up with something."

She smiled. "This is going to be fun. The Empire's not gonna know what hit them."

* * *

A few months went by, and they pulled a few jobs on planets near the Lothal sector. The Empire's hold wasn't established there, so it was easy to hit supply bases and outposts that the Imperials were trying to fortify in preparation for the Empire's pushes to the Outer Rim.

"They don't even have a guard out back." Zeb muttered as he looked through the quadnocs at the two delivery men unloading the food supplies from a transport. They had unloaded the crates onto a loading dock at the warehouse facility. The only Empire presence was a buckethead that had checked their manifest and headed back inside the building.

"Looks like a piece of cake." Kanan replied.

"Let's just steal the transport." Zeb said, his smile revealing his pointed teeth.

Kanan started to reply, but his com buzzed. "Spectre 2 to Spectre 1. Abort mission."

"Say again, Spectre 2?" Kanan raised an eyebrow at Zeb, who held up both hands.

"Abort. Rendezvous immediately."

"I read you, Spectre 2."

"What's up?" Zeb's ears drooped in disappointment. "I was looking forward to stealing the transport."

"Not sure. Let's go."

* * *

Kanan slid down the ladder from the Phantom and made his way to the cockpit. "Hera? What's the problem?"

"We almost had those guys in the bag..." Zeb said with a frown as he plopped into his seat.

Hera was laying in a course. "Sabine," she said, a line of worry appearing on her forehead. "Kanan, she sent a distress call. She's in trouble."

"Who's Sabine?" Zeb looked from Hera to Kanan.

As Hera left the planet's atmosphere and calculated the hyperspace jump, Kanan told Zeb what they knew about Sabine. He explained that she'd escaped from the Imperial Academy and that she hated the Empire as much as they did. "Did she say what happened?" Kanan asked.

"Only that she was injured and needed help. Chopper..."

Chopper played the message from Sabine. There was no video, just audio, and they heard her pained voice, and the worry in her voice as she spoke in a whisper. "Kanan? Hera? I need help and...and I don't know who else to com. Ketsu and I were going after a bounty, but it all went bad. She...left me. Ketsu left me! And . . ." Here her voice trembled a little, but Kanan still heard that focus in her voice that said she wasn't beaten yet. _Good girl, stay tough_ , he thought. _We're coming._ "I don't have anyone else to call. I'm wounded. And they're coming..." There was a pounding sound, such as a door being broken down, and the transmission cut out.

"It's on a planet in the M'shinni sector. Not too far from Ylix. It's gonna take at least three hours to get there." There was a flash of Hera's green eyes as she glanced at Kanan, then back down at the display.

"So you say this girl's pretty tough?" Zeb said.

"Yeah. Tough as Krayt dragon hide. She took a blaster shot—no tears, then backed me up on the turret gun while we ran from some TIEs; Zeb-she was dripping blood the whole time, but didn't complain once. If she says it's bad, it's probably twice as bad." He grimaced.

"Well, good then. I didn't get all suited up for nothing." Zeb cracked his claws, his face also a grim mask. "Think it might be some Imp trouble?"

"No. She would have said so, if it was." Hera murmured. "I didn't know she was bounty hunting..."

"Me either." Kanan said, his mouth tightening into a grim line.

Time ticked by slowly during the jump to the mid rim. When they exited, the green and blue surface of Genassa greeted them. "Chop. Track down the source of that message."

There was a warble and beeping, then Chopper holo-projected a map for them. "He says he can narrow it down to a three block radius in the capital city. In Oldtown."

"We'll take the Phantom." Kanan stood up, tapping Zeb on the shoulder. "C'mon."

* * *

Kanan and Zeb checked three apartment buildings with no luck and were about to search a warehouse. "Should we risk using the com?" Zeb asked, looking around. "She might answer..."

"Hang on..." Kanan shifted to the shadows, and Zeb watched as he held out a hand, seemingly staring into nothing as he used the Force. "She's in here." He said quickly, moving to the door and pulling on it softly, so as not to alert anyone inside. It did not open.

"Let's blow it." Zeb growled, swinging his bo-rifle around, ready to shoot his way in.

"No. Wait." Kanan held his hand out over the simple lock, concentrated for a moment and then they heard a soft click.

"Me first." Zeb rumbled, snatching open the door.

Inside, there were three guards, all human; two on the door and one across the room at another door.

Kanan fired at the man furthest away, hitting him center mass. Zeb engaged the goon on the left who lifted his blaster to fire. Kanan slugged the one on the right. His experience as a bouncer had given him a heavy punch and it rocked the big man back. When the man pulled a knife and lunged, Kanan fired.

Zeb grinned, clearly enjoying himself. "Never bring a knife to a blaster fight," he quipped, eyes on the next door.

They rushed into the next room, which was filled with suspensor crates. Kanan and Zeb stayed low; the Jedi motioned that Zeb go left and that he would go right. Kanan heard blasters to the left, and darted up to see. He narrowly missed a shot and ducked back down, losing himself in the maze of boxes. Due to his random path, he was able to approach his opponent, a Bith, from the back. Quickly, he dared a force push; the Bith toppled to the floor but twisted as he hit the ground. He snatched a blaster from a well-worn holster, but Kanan was already armed and fired. The Bith fell back on the floor, dead.

There was silence. "Zeb?" Kanan breathed.

"Yeah. Still alive." They linked up at the next door. "What do you think they're haulin?"

While Zeb watched the door, Kanan flipped the top off of the nearest crate. The vials inside told him all he needed to know. "Spice," he growled, then nodded towards the last closed door.

Shots rang out from inside the room and parts of the door literally disintegrated. Zeb ducked and Kanan fell backwards, out of the way.

"Hey, I think they know we're here." Zeb flashed a grin over at Kanan. Apparently one of Zeb's assailants had either a knife or a mean jab; Kanan noticed the Lasat had a swelling cut over one eye.

"Good." Kanan said grimly. "Let's go."

Kanan laid down some fire, then kicked the remains of the door open. They slipped in and found four Weequay waiting in the room. He traded several shots with the Weequay on the other side of the room, but missed the one who slipped behind him. The spice dealer slipped a length of what felt like wire around Kanan's neck and began to twist, garroting him. Kanan ignored the pain in his neck and took aim at the other opponent. The shot took the Weequay down, his brains splattering the wall wetly, then Kanan turned his attention to the other.

"Who the fuck are you?" He heard the Weequay mutter as the former Jedi reached back and planted his blaster up against the Weequay's ribs, or what passed for ribs...he was not that familiar with Weequay anatomy, nor did he want to be. There was an attempt to move out of the way, but Kanan managed to move with the alien and keep his blaster against its chilly flesh.

"Two...more...seconds...and...I...pull...it." He panted. He could hear Zeb wrestling with one of the others to his left.

There was a loosening of the cord, just as Kanan felt his vision darkening. He whirled and pistol-whipped the guy in the face with his blaster. The Weequay went down on one knee, groaning, but Kanan hauled him back up, then turned and fired at the Weequay that Zeb was fighting.

"Aw, come on Kanan! I almost had him. Been a while since I had some real hand-to-hand."

Kanan turned back to the creature in his clutches and narrowed his eyes. "Alright. You've got one chance to tell me where the girl is before I paint this room with your brains."

"Closet." He gestured with his head. "That Mandalorian bitch is in the closet."

"Zeb." Kanan remained staring at the Weequay while Zeb checked.

"She's in here. She's hurt, but alive." Kanan turned toward Zeb and the Weequay took his chance to pull a blaster from his waistband and fire.

The shot went too far left, grazing Kanan's side. The Jedi threw the sleemo back with a force-push, reacting almost out of instinct. Another shot from the Weequay went wide and blew out a hunk of duracrete from the wall before Kanan ended him.

He hissed in pain, putting a hand to his bleeding side and looking down. It was painful, but it was just a flesh wound. He moved over to Zeb and Sabine.

Sabine was slumped in the corner of the mostly empty closet. The first thing Kanan noticed was that she was covered in blood; even her orange hair was matted and spiked with it. Some of her armor was removed and her shirt was ripped, exposing her shoulder and part of her undergarment. Seeing that and what it suggested, the Jedi felt a black rage threaten, but he pushed it away by necessity. Sabine was pale and she was shivering from blood loss, her head down and gaze hidden. It was time to get her out of here.

" _Ne shab'rud'ni!_ " she growled low, looking at Zeb from under her hair. " _Hut'uunla or'dinii_!"

"C'mon, kid." Zeb reached out, intending to pick her up gently and pull her out of there, but the instant he touched her, she began to shriek in Mando'a and fight him, fists flailing. He fell back as she caught him across the face with a fist and followed it up with a kick. "Karabast!" he cried.

Kanan moved forward immediately. She hit him as well, but he dodged the worst of it. " _Ne shab'rud'ni!_ " she screamed again before he was able to gather her into his arms and pull her from the closet.

"Sabine. It's me." He held her, gently, but she still struggled, not letting up her attack. He sensed the panic and anger coming from her in strong waves. "Sabine. You're safe. It's okay. Shhh...It's me, Kanan."

All the fight went out of her at that point as she lifted her head. Her wide eyes were molten amber as Kanan locked his gaze with her own, projecting calm through the Force. "Kanan?" she asked, as if she didn't quite believe it. Tears trembled in her eyes.

"I'm here. Let's get you out of here, huh?" he murmured, reaching up to smooth her hair back. It was like stiff spikes because of the dried blood. Her face was bruised all along one side and she had a cut lip. She was clearly pretty traumatized, but she seemed to get herself under tenuous control.

She nodded, allowing Kanan to help her stand. There was a slash in the fabric of her pants leg and it was sticky with dried blood as well. She tried, but couldn't put weight on her leg, letting out a cry at the effort.

"Wait...my...my...armor..." she pointed at the closet where her captors had thrown her and her armor.

Kanan knew a Mandalorian like Sabine would die before leaving her armor. "Zeb. Cover us."

"Got it." Zeb moved to the door to keep watch, while Kanan leaned Sabine against a table in the room, then he retrieved her armor. Quickly, he helped her strap most of it back on, except for the leg plating for her bad leg, which he carried. At least it covered what her ripped clothing had exposed. He felt another black rage threaten and pushed it back. Later. He couldn't afford to be distracted at the moment—all his attention had to be on the rescue. "Did you see where they put your blasters?" He asked her, knowing how important her weapons were to her.

She nodded towards the other piece of furniture in the room. He searched it and found her blasters and a detonator. He held it up. "Let me guess..."

A hard smile came to her features. "Yeah. It's wired to go."

Kanan came over and helped her strap on her blasters. "Here." He placed the detonator in her hand and she attached it to her belt.

Kanan supported the injured girl and they limped to the door. "We clear?" He asked Zeb.

"Yeah." Zeb moved forward, Kanan following. Since he was carrying Sabine's leg plating, she drew a weapon with her free hand, just in case it was needed.

 _This girl,_ Kanan thought, wonderingly. He felt a fierce admiration for her strength as he watched her eyes skim the room, searching for targets.

They passed through into the first room and past the dead bodies of the guards until they were out on the street. There were a few interested stares, but it was getting later and the crowd on the street was virtually non-existent except for one or two here and there. They knew better than to mess with the big purple alien with the bo-rifle and his two companions, and so gave them a wide berth.

The Phantom was not far and once they were in, Zeb lifted off while Kanan wrapped Sabine in the silvery emergency blanket to help her shivering. He knelt down on one knee, intending to check her over as best as he could with their limited medical equipment on the small ship. Then he saw that she was holding the detonator in both hands, her eyebrow raised as she regarded Kanan.

"Zeb. Sweep back in the direction of the warehouse. Not too close though." He stood up and helped Sabine to her feet.

When they could see it from the front of the Phantom, Kanan spoke. "Do it."

Sabine pressed the button. The explosion was a beautiful mix of yellows, golds and reds, which brightened the night sky.

"Beautiful," she breathed to herself, watching it even as Kanan helped her back to her seat. He began to look over her injuries, but she still watched the glow from the front of the Phantom.

"Yeah. You did good, kit." Zeb glanced over his shoulder at the girl, her battered face lit by golden light. She returned a tentative smile. She seemed just as tough as Kanan had said. She'd been through Ashla knows what back there with those sleemos, but was still standing. He couldn't help his admiration for her tenacity. "I'm Zeb. Just sit back there and let Kanan patch you up. I'll have us back to the Ghost safe and sound in no time."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi everyone. I went back to work after a vacation spent writing fanfiction (yay!), so time is now more of a premium for me, BUT I will still try to update at least once a week if at all possible. Some people have asked if I intend on taking this up to the series when Ezra shows, and I guess I will give it my best shot. I appreciate all the positive reviews and treasure each one. I will try to respond personally to each review-but it might take me a while (busy weekend coming up). Thanks for reading and please enjoy.**

 **Warning: Oh yeah, and there are a few more details about Sabine's ordeal with the sleemos, but I feel pretty positive it is still at a T rating. If you can't stand details like that-if it really upsets you, please skip this chapter.**

* * *

19.

The first thing Hera did was give Sabine the gentlest of hugs. She looked into Sabine's eyes and smoothed back her hair from her face before turning and getting supplies to treat her wounds. Zeb was hanging back at the doorway of the medbay, too uncomfortable to come in, but too worried to just leave. In the bright light of the medbay, Sabine looked pale, small and extremely young; her facial bruises had darkened even more and made her look pale. Instead of letting the anger over her injuries show on his features, Kanan forced himself to only show his care for the kid; it was what she needed to see from him right now.

Sabine tried to remove her armor, but was struggling with the buckles and straps. Each movement seemed to be painful. As she hissed softly, Kanan reached out, placing his hand over her own. "Do you...want some help?"

She gave him a small, pained smile. "Sure."

Kanan moved to take off the different pieces carefully, using the Force to sense where he needed to use extra care. She seemed to be cut or bruised almost everywhere. When Hera saw Sabine's torn shirt, she shared a look with Kanan, her eyes narrowing in anger. Kanan said nothing, but kept projecting comfort and calm to Sabine with each little movement. He began to place the pauldrons, breastplate and backplate on a small table nearby, but Zeb came forward.

"You can give 'em to me." He said, meeting Sabine's eyes for a brief moment. "I'll put your armor in the extra cabin for you. That ok?"

She nodded. Kanan finished removing her cuisses and the rest of her plate as Hera began to clean the blood from around Sabine's head wound. Her large amber eyes watched Kanan's hands as he unloosened and removed the final greave on her good leg and gave it to Zeb. "Thank you," she said softly, looking at both of them, and then Hera. "Thank you for coming to save me."

Zeb didn't say anything, but he nodded and placed a fuzzy paw on her uninjured leg, before carrying her armor away.

"Always." Kanan simply said. He placed a hand on her arm when she winced at Hera's work on her head wound.

"It's not too bad." Hera said. "It's stopped bleeding. Head wounds always look worse than they are in humans." Her tone was easy and even, but the glances she gave Kanan over Sabine's head weren't. "Let's look at your leg." She examined the tight fitting black pants that went under the Mandalorian's armor. "These pants are shot...I'm gonna cut them so we can take a look at your leg. That ok?" She said as she picked up some scissors. "I'll give you some of mine when we're done."

Sabine nodded. Hera cut the pants to reveal Sabine's knee and leg wound, and Kanan noticed there were many more bruises on her leg. The Twi'lek began to scan with the medical handheld, scanning first a wound on her leg, then her knee. Sabine grabbed the Jedi's hand as Hera began to run her fingers gently around the swollen kneecap area. The girl squeezed tightly when it began to hurt.

"You have a dislocation of the kneecap," Hera said. "I can pop it back into place, but this might hurt a bit."

Sabine took a deep breath; Kanan could feel her steadying herself and finding her strength. "Okay. I'm ready." She closed her eyes, still clinging to Kanan's hand tightly.

"Curse like a spacer. It helps." Kanan said, coaxing a smile out of her.

Sabine did, indeed, let several curse words fly as Hera manipulated her kneecap back to the right position. "That should feel better," Hera said as she scanned it again.

Carefully, Sabine moved her leg experimentally. "It hurts, but not like before."

"Good." Hera pointed at Kanan. "Your turn."

He came over reluctantly, glancing down at the wound on his side. In truth, he'd been so worried about Sabine, he'd not even thought about the streak of heat on his side where it throbbed dully. "It was just a glancing shot."

"I'll be the judge of that." She waited for him to tug up his shirt, then used the portable scanner on him. "So, it is. Still though..." She cleaned the cut, then covered it in bacta and a bandage.

"You got hurt." Sabine's eyes grew large when she saw the wound. "I'm sorry."

"This? It's nothing." Kanan shrugged. Hera gave him a sprayhypo dose, unwilling to take any chances this time around. "She's just overreacting."

Hera raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're saying THAT? After last time?" She rolled her eyes in mock disgust, then gave him a playful, yet gentle, shove. "Kanan, I think I have things pretty good from here out. Go let Zeb know she's gonna be just fine. You know how the big guy worries." She leaned down to catch Sabine's eyes. "He's a big old tooka cat deep down."

Kanan read Hera well. She wanted to talk to Sabine alone, and he was happy to go, not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable than it might be. "Yeah. You just yell if you need me Sabine. She gets a little aggressive with the antiseptic sometimes."

"Keep it up..." Hera warningly called after him.

Kanan made his way to the common area, where he saw Zeb sitting with Sabine's armor. The Lasat was cleaning the blood from it, with a single-minded focus. When he saw Kanan, he held out his cleaning rag and shrugged.

"I figured I'd clean it up," he said gruffly.

"Yeah." Kanan took one of the chairs near Zeb. "Hera's talking to her now, I think. She's gonna be ok. Just a dislocated kneecap, lots of bruises and cuts."

Zeb frowned and rubbed the piece of armor he was working on clean again. "Kanan...those guys...her torn shirt...do you think they…uh…?" He couldn't finish the sentence, but when he glanced up and saw the look pass over Kanan's face, he knew he didn't need to.

"I...I didn't know how to ask." Kanan shook his head. "Those guys were too much for two to take on. She and her partner couldn't have been ready for that."

"We took them on."

"Yeah. Exactly… a former Jedi and Lasan Honor Guard. She's good, but not that good yet."

"Then I say we train her." Zeb wiped the blood from the armor carefully. "If we taught her only a fourth of what we know, no one would ever get the drop on her again."

"That's for sure," Kanan said, sitting back, crossing his arms over his chest. "She could teach us something about explosives too." He raised an eyebrow. "Did you see how that warehouse went up?"

"Yeah." Zeb nodded in admiration. He gathered up the now-clean armor to carry it to Sabine's room. "That'll teach 'em to mess with a bad ass from Mandalore."

* * *

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Hera asked gently after she finished closing the cut on Sabine's leg. She'd cleaned off about as much of the blood as she could in the medbay, and planned on getting the girl into the fresher as soon as they finished up here.

"It was a fight. I lost." Sabine said simply, letting out a sigh.

"About this." Hera touched the torn material of Sabine's shirt, tentatively. "If you don't, it's okay...but I'm here for you. I just want you to know that."

Sabine found it hard not to trust Hera, and she owed them so much, but the thought of explaining everything made her stomach twist into knots. "Okay, look," Sabine began slowly, "my 'friend,' Ketsu and I...we've been bounty hunting. It's been pretty good work. . . we've been picking our jobs pretty carefully—taking down the people we know are bad—but leaving the innocent ones and rebels alone. I wouldn't let Ketsu take any job that would help the Empire, you know."

"Right." Hera nodded.

"Well, the guy we were after, Randan Yul, was a well-known spice dealer. We thought we could take him...but there were too many of them. I had wired the place to blow and was about to escape when they grabbed me. Ketsu saw them, but she..." Here her countenance twisted with anger and hurt as she remembered Ketsu turning and ducking away. "She just left. I couldn't believe she just left. Then they started hitting me." She raised a hand to her head and winced.

"Here. This will take the sting out of that. Ready?" Hera pulled a sprayhypo and pressed it into Sabine's bare shoulder when the girl nodded.

"Thanks." Sabine lowered her head and stared at her hands. Her nails, usually kept short and blunt, were torn and there was blood under them. She'd used everything she had to fight off Yul and his men. She felt tears threaten, and she bit her lip hard to make them pass. They fell down her cheeks instead. She muttered a curse under her breath.

"Oh, love." Hera wrapped Sabine in her arms and all of a sudden, the girl let out a sob. The hug seemed to break something in her and the floodgates opened. It had been a long time...so long since she'd felt someone care for her and she wasn't used to it.

"S...s...sorry." She tried to apologize for crying, but Hera shook her head.

"No." She murmured. "You've been through a lot, and stayed so strong. Don't apologize."

"W-when I w-woke up… I was lying on a table. Yul...he was taking off my armor. Then . . .then I felt him pull at my. . . clothes...trying to undress me." Her voice shook. "As soon as I realized what was going on, I fought him, Hera."

"I know you did." Hera said grimly, keeping her arms around the frightened girl.

"W-when I f-felt his hands on me...I lost it. I kicked him and bit him. I think I broke his arm." She shivered when she remembered the crunch she'd heard as her foot connected with his forearm. "H-he screamed and called his men in. They threw me to the floor and then...he went to kicking me. He k-kept kicking me over and over. That's when my leg was hurt, I think. He...when the pain in his arm got to be too much, he l-left. He went to get his arm looked at, maybe...I don't know because I passed out again. But they didn't...they didn't r-rape me."

Hera was still holding the shivering girl, and she could feel Sabine's tears against her shoulder. She closed her eyes, thanking the Force that Sabine had been able to fight off her attackers.

"When I was t-trying to come to, t-they thr-threw me in the closet. He...he told them to drug me before he returned, but they were too scared to do it, I think." All of a sudden her dark eyes got large and wide. "When...Zeb opened the door, I thought he was one of them and I hit him. I think I might have hurt him...and Kanan." Her voice was starting to sound a little slurry from the medicine toward the end of her story.

"Oh Sabine." Hera let her go so she could lean down and look into Sabine's eyes. "They're fine. I know they understand. That's the last thing they would want you to worry about."

"Oh." She nodded, sniffling. "Okay." She wiped her face self-consciously.

"How about a shower?" She smoothed back Sabine's hair, still stiff with dried blood. "I know you'll feel better."

"Shower? Yeah." Sabine said softly.

"Okay. Then we'll get you some clothes, wrap up that knee and get you to bed." Hera helped Sabine stand and walked her carefully toward the fresher.

Both Kanan and Zeb stood up when Hera walked through with Sabine. When Sabine was in the shower and they both heard the water running, Hera went to her quarters and came back with a set of pajamas for the girl. "Kanan, grab a couple of bandages from the medbay to wrap her knee with when we're done in here."

By the time Kanan got back, he could hear Sabine and Hera talking softly in the 'fresher. After some long moments, Sabine hobbled out, supported by Hera's arm around her.

Sabine looked better...a little color had come back to her cheeks and she gave them a smile as he and Zeb stood up again.

Kanan swept Sabine up in his arms, carrying her to the empty quarters. "I got you."

While Sabine had been in the 'fresher, Kanan and Zeb had placed sheets, blankets and a pillow on the bunk for the girl. When he sat her down gently, Hera knelt and pushed the loose pajama pants up to reveal her knee. It was swollen to twice its size. Kanan sat beside her to offer support as Hera wrapped her knee to stabilize it and bring down the swelling.

"You doing okay?" the Jedi asked.

"Yeah." Sabine nodded. "Hera gave me something for the pain. Making me kinda sleepy." She yawned and found herself leaning against Kanan's shoulder.

"That's good. Sleepy is good." He wrapped an arm around her and held her up as Hera finished wrapping.

"I'll be right next door, kit. Call me if you need anything." Zeb offered from the door.

"Okay." She nodded. "Uh...guys...I'm sorry about earlier...I shouldn't have hit you...I thought...I didn't realize who you were at first."

Kanan shook his head and squeezed her gently. "It's okay."

"Nothin' to be sorry for. You should be proud," Zeb added.

She nodded, looking down with shimmering eyes. "Thanks, guys." She whispered.

"Into bed, love." Hera settled her in and wrapped the covers around her. The three of them headed for the door, and Hera dimmed the light. "You're safe here, so rest easy, Sabine. We'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Knowing that Zeb and Kanan would be keyed up for a while after such a mission, Hera went to the kitchen and made three cups of caf. As she worked, she caught Zeb and Kanan sharing a look.

"Uh...Hera? I'm afraid to ask...but is she...is she really okay?" Kanan tightened his hand into a fist while he waited for her answer.

"She's had a rough time of it." Hera said, setting down two cups in front of them and going back for her own. She knew what their fears were by the looks on their faces. "One of them...a guy named Randan Yul did try...to rape her, but she fought him off… broke his arm, in fact."

"We didn't take down anyone with a broken arm." Zeb said, looking to Kanan.

"She said he left after kicking her unconscious. He had plans to . . .come back later for her." Hera said reluctantly. She could feel her crewmates growing more and more upset by the moment.

"He's going on my list." Zeb said, with a frown.

"Right at the top." Kanan muttered.

Hera looked from one set of eyes to the other. "Look. I know it's gonna be hard, but we need to let it go for now. Sabine needs to heal up. She needs you two to make her feel safe, not running around the galaxy chasing this guy Yul. He'll get what's coming to him."

"You're right." Zeb was the first to reply. "The kit needs a family."

"Yeah," Kanan agreed.

"I'm glad you feel that way. I want her to stay on too." Hera looked from one of them to the other.

"Hera, if I see this guy Yul, I'm gonna take a piece out of him," he promised.

"Don't worry, if we run into him, I won't stop you." Hera said softly, placing a hand on his arm.


	20. Chapter 20

20.

 **A/N: Hi! Sorry I haven't responded to all the reviews lately. Been so busy and tried to focus on the next chapter. I will get around to thanking all of you soon! My readers are the best! Hope you like this part of the story. Next up: Ezra...! I'm really trying to decide how to handle that one! Please review if you like this chapter! Thanks to The Whole World Is Magic for pointing out that I left Chopper out in the count of the crew. Now that astromech will never forgive me. *sob* :)  
**

* * *

"Zeb, take the dorsal cannon!" Kanan held on to the wall during a sharp bank, then slipped into the co-pilot's seat. "Hera, how many?"

"We got three Ties on our tail, plus an Interceptor." Hera said grimly. "There's an asteroid field ahead. It's pretty risky, but maybe I can lose them in there."

They'd been hovering near a planet named Myrmidon, monitoring Imperial com traffic so that Hera could report it back to Fulcrum. The agent knew some rebels in the system had been arrested by the Empire and wanted to see if they could find out where they'd been taken. In front of them was the largest asteroid field in ten systems. In fact, they'd been hovering on the edge, using the rocks as cover while they listened and recorded the com transmissions.

Hera rocked the _Ghost_ from one side to the other, dodging incoming fire as she headed into the field. "You might want to cross your fingers." She called, coaxing the ship into the tight, irregular spaces between the asteroids.

All of a sudden there was a pop and a hiss followed by several metal mechanical noises coming from the engine room. The ship lurched a little.

"That's not good," Hera swore.

Chopper beeped frantically and went in the direction of the noise toward the engine room.

"We won't get far like this." Hera replied, spinning the _Ghost_ to the left to miss the shots from the Interceptor. The ship's reaction time was off. "Kriff, he's fast!"

"I've got this." Kanan said. "Go. Fix it."

"But..." She met his eyes for the briefest of moments.

"Go."

"Don't you wreck my ship, Kanan Jarrus," she said as she allowed him to slip into the pilot's seat.

"Yes, ma'am." He took the controls and banked left again to avoid fire from the other Tie. He wasn't quick enough however, due to the lag, and the Ghost took a minor hit. He gritted his teeth and swung the ship around another giant asteroid. Then, he dove to avoid fire from the Interceptor, and the ship scraped the edge of another space rock. They weren't going to make it like this.

Hera followed Chopper to the engine room, passing Sabine in the hallway. She had obviously been asleep (Hera had pretty much mandated her to rest through the next few cycles), but the noise and movement of the ship had woken her. They both clung to the wall as the Ghost grated against an asteroid.

"Go help Kanan," Hera called, sprinting toward the engine room.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, Kanan reached out for the Force, knowing he would need the extra edge not only to dodge the Tie fighters stalking him, but to avoid the asteroids. Their very survival depended on his reflexes making up for the lack of responsiveness in the ship. In a flash, several memories from the Jedi Temple crowded his mind. He saw himself as a youngling, blast shield over his eyes while he tried to deflect shots from a remote. He remembered sparring with another student as a padawan, darkness shielding his eyes as they both used only their connection to the Force to combat each other. He remembered Master Yoda telling him that he should trust the Force, not his eyes, and closing them, he gave himself up to that luminous river of light, letting it wash over and through him. The movements became automatic as the ship became a part of him through the lucent energy of the Force.

"Calling dibs on the nose gun!" Sabine slipped into the co-pilot's seat and took the controls, but their pursuers were mostly behind them at the moment. One tie did try to flank them, but Sabine ended him with an expertly placed shot. "Whoo-hoo!" she yelled. After a moment, she looked over at Kanan in confusion when there was no response.

She felt a strange sense of heaviness growing in the air around them. Then she noticed that Kanan was flying with his eyes closed and head bowed. "Um...Kanan?" She murmured, looking from him to the field in front of them. He was weaving his way through the moving chunks of space rock, expertly banking, diving and rolling where needed. In fact, he was flying through this just as well as Hera would. Maybe even better, and according to the stories she'd heard from Kanan and Zeb, and what she'd seen herself, that was incredible.

"Son of a bantha..." she breathed. "How the kriff are you doing that?"

There was no answer.

"Got the Interceptor..." Zeb called over the com. "They picked the wrong day to mess with us," he cackled, clearly pleased with himself.

"Good job." Hera called back over the com. "I need another three minutes and...I'll have this...fixed."

"How's it going, Spectre One?" Zeb asked.

Kanan paid no attention, but just continued weaving his way through rocks, an expression of intense concentration on his features. Sabine noticed several times how they would head straight for a rock, then weave at the last possible second. They reacted faster than the tie behind them; it exploded as it impacted a giant asteroid.

"Uh...Zeb, Kanan's a little...busy at the moment." Sabine answered for him.

"Sabine. Check your right…" Kanan murmured, not opening his eyes, but pulling back on the controls. A tie shot in front of them as Kanan slowed his speed unexpectedly, and Sabine took aim.

"Kriff!" She yelled, missing with the first shot. Her second was true, however, and the tie exploded into little bits that pelted the Ghost as they flew right through where it had been a moment before.

She commed Zeb and Hera. "That's all of them!" After a moment she went on, "Uh...you guys should probably come see...this..." Kanan continued weaving his way through the floating chunks of rock, making imperceptible corrections as needed.

Sabine couldn't take her eyes off of him. She leaned forward trying to get a better angle on his eyes, but they were completely closed. How was he doing this? It was impossible.

Moments later, Hera and Zeb entered. Hera was spotted with engine grease, a black smudge on her forehead and Zeb's fur stood up in unruly fluffs. Apparently he'd been sleeping as well when he'd come out to man the turret. "What is it?" Zeb asked as he and Hera came to look out of the front of the _Ghost_ at the spinning rocks that their ship was so expertly dodging. They clearly thought the trouble was coming from there.

"No. How is he doing that?" Sabine pointed. It was then that both Hera and Zeb turned their attention to Kanan.

Hera immediately realized that Kanan was using the Force to navigate through the asteroids. He was keeping them safe, using everything he had. It made her heart melt, but she didn't have time to indulge that feeling right now. She looked into Sabine's wide brown eyes. "Sabine. Um...we need to talk." Hera said, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "But let's get through this asteroid field first."

Hera then turned to Kanan and knelt down beside his chair. She placed her arm on his gently. "Kanan. Get us out of the field? I want to make the jump to hyperspace before the Empire gets any more people out here."

"Got it." His voice was like a sleep-talker.

"I am going to jump as soon as we clear them." Sabine got up so that Hera could reach the navicomputer. The girl slid into the chair behind the co-pilot's seat, her curiosity eating at her. She had her theories, but for now she kept quiet.

Zeb came over to her and put a paw gently on her shoulder. "Good shooting, kit."

She beamed. "Thanks. You too."

He scratched his beard thoughtfully. "Yeah. We make a good team," finally, he grinned at her and ruffled her short hair.

Hera jumped the ship as soon as they broke free from the asteroids. When the long lines of stars in hyperspace greeted them, she sighed in relief. Sabine watched as she turned her seat toward Kanan, placing a hand on his arm. His bright teal eyes opened. He blinked several times, almost sleepily, then gave a bemused smile.

"You did it," she said, squeezing his arm.

"Yeah...but Sabine helped." His eyes found the girl's hungry amber gaze. All at once he realized what she was probably wondering about. The tooka was out of the bag now and he gave a rueful smile. "You have questions."

"Uh...yeah...you were flying with your eyes closed! I've seen pilots... **good** pilots...no **great** pilots at the Imperal Academy and not one of them could do that. How...how is that even possible?"

"The Force." Kanan said simply. He was smiling slightly, but his eyes showed his weariness. Apparently using the Force while flying the asteroid field and evading the Ties had exhausted him. "Guess I'm a little out of practice in going that deep..."

"Wait. You mean you **were** a J...Jedi? Just like I thought before...when those guys went flying through the air?" Sabine whispered, afraid to even say the word. "Son of a bantha! You're serious."

Kanan nodded.

"Welcome to the family." Hera said.

"What do you mean?" Sabine asked, her amber eyes wide.

"We want you with us...if you want to stay on permanently, that is." Hera smiled.

"You're smart and tough. And you hate the Empire as much as we do," Zeb said.

"You're also very brave," Kanan added. "We need you, Sabine."

Hera felt her heart lurch when she saw Sabine's eyes fill with tears. "Uh...Wow." The girl managed as she scrubbed the tears from her cheeks, looking away and blinking furiously. Finally she gave up, and turned her face up to them, tears and all. "I would do anything for you guys. You...you saved me twice now and it...it would be an honor to be part of your team."

"Our team," Kanan corrected gently.

Zeb laid a paw on her shoulder.

"I think the five of us will make a great team," Hera replied.

"Five?" Sabine asked.

Chopper warbled, pleased at being acknowledged.

"Six of us." Kanan murmured, a far-away look in his eyes.

"What?" Hera looked up, raising one tattooed eyebrow.

"Huh?" Kanan blinked and focused on her, and seemed unaware he had spoken. Hera gave him a long look, but let it go.

"You've been on shift for 12 hours. Sabine and I will take it from here. You need some rest." Here, it was clear she was talking to Kanan but she added, "Zeb, you too. Sabine, keep an eye on things for a minute."

Hera followed Kanan back to his room, and when they were inside, she took his hand in her own and gave him a long, hard look. "You really okay?"

He shook his head. "Yeah. I'm fine. It just wiped me out because I'm out of practice."

"Do you remember what you said a minute ago…? About there being six of us?"

He looked confused. "I did?"

"Yeah," she nodded. She could tell that he really didn't know what she was talking about, so she let it go. It seemed important, however, so she promised herself to keep it in the back of her mind. "Never mind. Get some sleep. I'll go back and get our new recruit up to speed, then I'll fill Fulcrum in on the intel." They leaned in and shared a kiss. "When Zeb comes on in a few hours, I'll come back and crawl in here with you."

"That sounds like a plan." Kanan replied, kicking off his boots and laying down in his bunk. She threw a blanket over him.

"You know you saved us, right?" Hera stood at the door, her head cocked to the side as she regarded his sleepy gaze. "I probably couldn't have guided the _Ghost_ through that without some major damage."

He shook his head, his eyes feeling extremely heavy. "I'm pretty sure you can do anything you put your mind to, Hera Syndulla."

She smiled at him, and murmured softly, "Sleep well, love." She watched, amused, as he tried to respond, and only a sleepy mumble came out. After dimming the lights, she allowed the door to slip closed behind her.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry it's been a while since an update. I have really been struggling with this chapter, but now that I've worked some things out hopefully the next section (Finding Ezra) will go well. I have decided to do a different "Finding Ezra" and veer away from just a rehashing of what happened in the episode in order to do something more original, but that's for the next chapter.

In this chapter, Master Billaba makes an appearance. Force ghost and all of that. If you want more info or a more detailed look at her as a Force ghost, I have another story called "Chalactan Roses" that goes with this "universe." It's rated M for suicide attempt, so it doesn't appear in the regular stories, but maybe you'll like it. Hope you like this update. I worked really hard on this one. And to my guest that asked if I write for this show in real life...Ha! I wish. I could only be so lucky... but thank you very much for the compliment. I treasure it. :)

* * *

21.

Months went by, and Hera's team developed a unique synchronicity. Whether it was running an op, smuggling for some sleazy low-life, or simply training together, it was as if they had been a team for years. Once, on Kothal a job stealing a shipment of ration packs had gone wrong. They'd been moving the crates to the Ghost, which was in a nearby part of the spaceport, when they'd run into a squad of heavily armed bucketheads that knew they were there. Somehow, Hera had known to leave their rendezvous point and show up to provide air support even before Kanan commed her. As a result of her timely pick-up, they were able to get away with everything they'd lifted.

Such skin-of-their-teeth victories proved to be the rule, rather than the exception. Kanan tried to tell himself that they were special, that they couldn't be defeated, but deep down, he knew it was a delusion to indulge in such thinking. The idea that something could jeopardize the lives of the Ghost's crew—his new family—had become a nagging maze of thought in the back of his mind and he pushed it away before he could get lost in it. They would be safe. He would make sure of it.

He distracted himself with training Sabine. Both he and Zeb were amazed by the former cadet's abilities. She was a dead shot with any blaster. Zeb had even let her try some target practice with the bo-rifle and she shot it like she'd been born holding one. After realizing her facility with both small and larger arms, they'd spent most of their time working with her on hand-to-hand combat. She wasn't as used to fighting in close quarters, preferring to hit trouble before it got close enough to throw a punch, so their tutelage was helpful.

She'd had the basics down, but sparring with Zeb and Kanan gave her a chance to discover the best ways to defeat a larger opponent. The girl was a fast study. And she wasn't the only one learning. Zeb and Kanan had focused on picking up Imperial tactics from Sabine. Kanan had a pretty good sense of what the Imps were likely to do in most situations, but some things had changed since he was last on the battlefield. Sabine was familiar with new buckethead standard operating procedure and it went a long way toward making her feel needed by her new teammates.

"That's enough for today." Kanan was watching Sabine break Zeb's hold. He could tell from her futile effort that she was getting tired; they'd been working for more than an hour.

Finally she twisted, elbowed Zeb in the chest and knocked the wind out of him. He let her go as he stumbled back.

"Nice job." Kanan said as she walked over, grabbed a towel, wiped her face and slung it around her neck.

She looked over her shoulder and grinned at Zeb. "Winner gets the shower first." She called, sprinting back up into the _Ghost_.

"Karablast." Zeb growled, sinking down to rest on the ship's ramp as he grabbed the canteen of water.

"Giving you a run for your money?" Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow at the Lasat.

"Are you sure you're not training her behind my back?"

Kanan didn't try to hide his grin. "Nope. I did give her a few tips, though."

"I knew you were a cheater." Zeb pretended to be irritated, but he couldn't hide his half-grin.

"Nope. I'm a winner." Kanan teased automatically, then looked out at the orange sky of Malastare. They were parked in a spaceport in Staren City, the largest city on the planet. As he thought about it, his face soured. This place was full of sleazy types who came here to bet on the planet's famous podraces, and then gamble and drink themselves unconscious when they were done.

This place was dangerous for him. He had been well aware that the anniversary of his Master's death had been creeping up, but he'd pushed it away, spending more and more time trying to meditate away the throbbing anxiety that was growing too big to handle. If he wasn't meditating, he was clinging to Hera's side as a shadow, trying to soak up her presence to ward off the black depression that rumbled in the distance like storm clouds.

He was better than he had been around this same time every year, and he credited it to Hera's influence. At least he wasn't in the corner of some dive so drunk he couldn't remember his name. Or flirting with the idea of sticking a blaster to his temple and pulling the trigger. He'd been both places before, more than once, and neither of them were pretty. Force only knew what had saved him from himself.

Best case scenario was for them to get as far away from here as possible before...tomorrow. Then he wanted to just hunker down for a day—close his eyes until his inner weather cleared. There was just too much temptation here...too many bars...too many ways to find oblivion at the bottom of a bottle or with something worse. It was with a monumental effort that he sounded casual when asking his question. "Um...how long did Hera say we're stopping off here?"

"Two days. We're supposed to meet this friend of Vizago's...he's gonna take those ration packs off of our hands for a pretty good profit. She told us at dinner last night." Right. She'd told him, but he'd been so distracted he'd forgotten.

Kanan gave a slight nod as he looked down, scuffing his boot into the brown soil.

"Must be gettin' a little hard of hearin' in your old age." Zeb punched Kanan lightly in the shoulder as he got up and headed inside.

Kanan snorted, seeming as if he was laughing with Zeb, but as soon as the Lasat's back was turned, the smile dropped from his face. Two days. Kriff. He should spill the whole thing to Hera right now, he thought. Tell her the struggle he was going through and why. He actually stood up to go inside and find her, but he stopped on the ramp. Hera would worry and leave before their meet with Vizago's friend, and that would be bad for everyone. They needed the money. No. He could do this, right?

A queasy feeling in his gut told him there was no certain answer for that question. He moodily looked up at the now reddish-purple sky, then followed Zeb inside.

* * *

 _He was a kid again. He sat upon a familiar wind-swept ledge of rock, looking down at the shining holocron in his hand. The light of the nearby fire was warm and comforting, but he knew it would not last for long. It never did in these dreams. The nightmare was usually about the same every time, although it started in different places and sometimes ended early or was tortuously long. Like the child he resembled, he buried his head against his knees and squeezed his eyes tightly shut in preparation for what he knew was to come._

" _Caleb." Her voice. Sometimes he heard her speak to him and sometimes he didn't. This time, her voice was different. The rich tones seemed to stir something in him, as if her voice was not just a memory, but something...more._

 _He felt her hand on his arm, squeezing it almost painfully. Stubbornly, he pressed his face against his knees and refused to look up…as if refusing to acknowledge the nightmare could banish it._

" _No." He murmured. "No more. I can't..."_

" _Focus, padawan." She placed a hand on his head, smoothing his hair; with the gesture, she finally shattered the repetitive spell of the dream and he looked up in surprise. "Focus on me."_

 _He couldn't do anything_ _ **but**_ _focus. Focus on her warm brown eyes, the gentle curve of her face, the gold Lesser and Greater Marks of Illumination on her brow. The warmth of the Force-bond they shared began to flare and he marveled at the slight brush of her presence in his mind, filling a void that had remained vacant for too long. He wanted to throw his arms around her, to save her, to warn her, to beg her to run now, before it was too late. And most of all, he ached to tell her he was sorry. The shreds of his guilt began to claw at his heart and he shook his head, unable to speak. She held her hand out to him, and led him away from the scene that would so soon turn to blood and death._

 _They stopped at a rise of another cliff, overlooking their camp. It was here that they had practiced form three, earlier in this memory. She turned to face him, the wind whipping at her robes and braids._

" _I don't have much time," she began as she studied his face intently. Her serious look melted into a smile as she reached out and placed a hand against his cheek—the way she always had when showing her affection for him. "I am happy to see you once again. It has been too long."_

 _His brow crinkled in confusion, but once again, he couldn't seem to speak. In these nightmares he was always fighting or fleeing and they were never this close. But now-now...he was close enough to see the gold flecks in the amber of her irises and to see the shine of the moon on her brown hair. He was drinking in the sight and sound of her, recalling a thousand memories that he'd pushed away and attempted to erase. He missed her, he realized as he fought back tears. Force, how he had missed her! How was she here like this? How was it that he could feel the warmth of her presence along their bond once more?_

 _She allowed her hand to slip from his face to his shoulder, and intently regarded him, the way he remembered she would look when imparting a lesson he should remember. "Caleb...you must move past this sorrow. Your love for what was is valuable and should not be suppressed...but you must conquer this fear and sadness, padawan. It threatens your connection to the Force."_

" _I can't." He whispered. His words were ripped away by the wind, but she heard them._

 _Her amber eyes seemed to glow with sympathy in the dim light. "I know, but you have to try." She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and he clung to her, pressing his face against her Jedi robes. His tears dampened the plain, rough fabric that smelled like her favorite flower, Chalactan rose._

" _I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have left you. It's my f-f-fault..." He was shuddering with sobs, barely able to speak. "Please...f...for...forgive...me."_

 _He felt her kiss the top of his head and squeeze him more tightly. "No...no….my padawan. It was the will of the Force, not your fault. You were never to blame for what happened. Let this guilt go. It's ripping you apart."_

" _I can't," he wailed, knowing he sounded like a pitiful youngling. He could feel the wind pick up, lashing them mercilessly and it only made him hold her more tightly._

 _She soothed him while his grief spent itself. When his sobs slowed, she relaxed her arms around him, but he held on stubbornly to her, refusing to let even this dream version of her go. "Caleb. I don't have long. Being here too long will drain the both of us. Please...listen." She gently disentangled herself from his grip, but placed one hand on each side of his face and knelt in front of him._

H _er first words were ripped away by the howling wind which was still increasing. She tried again, as there was a lull. "There's...another like you. He is young." She looked around in frustration, as she noticed the dream was changing with her student's shifting emotions. The flash of white trooper armor caught her eye; all the clones stood up as if they had one mind. The faceless helmets turned toward them-the soldier's movements horrifying in their synchronicity. Her eyes drew his own and he paled as he saw them, but she pulled his gaze away. "No. Look just at me. Listen. Another will come who is strong with the Force, padawan."_

 _He shook his head, tears blinding his vision and confusion darkening his mind. What was she saying? They were coming. They had to run—he thought as the claws of the dream tried to fasten in him once again._

" _The boy, Caleb. Alone like you. Watch for him. He is going to change everything" Her hands squeezed his shoulders. "Understand? The boy. Watch for him."_

 _He nodded, even though he didn't understand. "I will."_

 _She smiled radiantly. "Good. Now..." She nodded beyond him, at the clones that were now creeping up the hill. "You must go." She stood and ripped her saber from her belt; its green light shone more brightly than it ever had in real life._

" _No-"_

 _Her eyes flashed the way they did before a really big battle, and he saw the anticipation in her face. The Force gathered around her in a shimmering pulse. "This is only a dream, Caleb. An echo of a past that's gone. You must let it go." She gently pushed him behind her and swung her saber, cutting down a nameless figure in armor._

" _I can't..." He reached to his own belt, fumbling for his weapon in a panic._

 _She cut down two more figures and and turned to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and looking deeply into his eyes. He felt the warmth of the Force in her touch. "Yes, you can. You **will** let this nightmare go, my padawan. It will trouble you no more." She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his own for a brief moment. "Now GO." She made a motion towards him and pushed with the Force and . . ._

* * *

. . .he opened his eyes, sitting up immediately and sucking in a breath like he'd just resurfaced from underwater. He looked around the room, but saw no one. He was crouched in Hera's bunk, against the back of it, every muscle in his body taut and ready. "Kriff." He muttered, sitting back and wiping his face. His hands came away wet with sweat and tears. He realized he could still smell the heavy traces of spicy Chalactan roses in the room and it caused a swift ache of loss in his heart. With that familiar scent shimmering in the room, he knew that she'd really been there. Somehow, his master had been there.

All of a sudden, the door swept open and Hera burst in, followed by Zeb.

"Kanan! W-What's going on? Are you okay?"

She met his gaze and immediately knew he wasn't okay. His watery blue-green eyes were so large they seemed to glow in the semi-darkness. It looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Yes. No. I'm not sure." Kanan's blasted expression stared right through both of them. He shook his head helplessly, his unblinking eyes taking them both in.

Zeb recognized the blank look in Kanan's eyes, because he'd observed it in warriors on Lasan who had seen too much. He'd had the look himself, for a long time after Lasan. He remembered how it was to wake up from nightmares that were all too vivid, not knowing what was real and what was not. "Kanan, you with us?" He asked softly, watching Kanan's eyes take in the room. In his mind, he coaxed Kanan on. _Say yes,_ he thought.

The Jedi didn't react for a long moment, as though he had to think about it.

Finally he nodded.

Hera looked around the room, her eyes widening as she took in the fading ghost of a floral scent. She saw Zeb's head tilt up as he caught the scent as well. It was strange, but not as strange as what had just happened. "Everything in the ship just...shuddered like a shock wave hit the ship. It didn't come from outside. It came from...here, according to Chopper. Did you do that?"

"I don't think so." He replied haltingly, looking around with wide eyes. He needed time to process what had happened in the dream before he could even attempt to explain it to them.

Sabine's sleepy eyes appeared, peering around Zeb. "Have we entered hyperspace? I felt a lurch."

Zeb sensed that this was probably not the time to crowd Kanan. He felt more comfortable leaving that part of this to Hera for now. "Everything's okay. Let's give them a minute, kit." Zeb led her out, leaving Kanan and Hera alone.

For long moments, Kanan concentrated on the place in his mind where he'd felt the bond he'd had with his master. There were only the faintest traces of her presence, which were even now fading into nothingness again. "I don't know what that was..."

"It's okay." Hera soothed, moving so that their bodies were touching side by side as she sat on the bunk. She took his large hand into her own and he leaned into her body warmth gratefully. "You don't have to..."

"Order 66. Empire day..." He murmured as an explanation. "It's tomorrow."

Her eyes went wide. "Kriff!" She hadn't realized that it had come again so soon. Last time it had been a bad day for him; he had disappeared and come back as inebriated as a being could get and still live. She'd promised herself to keep an eye on him this next time. "I'm sorry, I should have realized…" she said simply. He hadn't been himself for a few days, now that she thought about it. For the past few days, He'd spent more time following her around the ship like a shadow, as well as sleeping more than usual. In fact, earlier tonight, he'd turned in early, claiming to be exhausted from his late afternoon sparring match with Sabine. She should have known something was wrong.

"No. Not your fault." He shook his head and squeezed her hand. "The nightmares...they just get bad around this time."

"So...that's what that was? A nightmare?" She studied his features, still holding his hand.

"I don't know. I dreamed about **her** again, but it was different."

"Depa Billaba?" Hera clarified. "Your master?"

He turned to her, his eyes suddenly watery again. He nodded, focused on something far away. "I could feel her...presence. It's not...usually there in the dream, but it was… this time…it was strong. I could feel the bond between us. Now it's...it's gone." He was exhausted, as if the dream had used every bit of Force-energy he had.

"Was it really her? Like a ghost?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. We were taught that beings that died were absorbed by the Force, becoming one with it. Maybe she was able to find a way..." He stood up, and began pacing the room. After a few moments, he spoke again. "She made me promise to look for someone."

"Look for someone?"

"A kid. A boy strong with the Force." They regarded each other for a moment.

"Like in your vision…" she said what they'd both just realized. Hera thought back to the moment that Kanan had unknowingly revealed there was one more to be added to their crew. All of it had to be a sign. "Okay, so we'll keep our eyes open for any Force-sensitive kids." Hera spoke, trying to give him confidence. He was shaken and she wasn't sure what to do to put his feet back on solid ground.

He laughed harshly. "What am I supposed to do? Train him?"

"Maybe…"

"It would be a disaster. Hera, I'm hardly trained myself." His next words were low. "I have enough trouble keeping myself on the right path. I'd do more harm than good."

"I don't think so." Hera replied. She walked forward to take both his hands. He shook his head and looked away. "You might be the perfect one to save someone who might otherwise be lost. Listen to me-" He had laughed harshly again, but she reached up and, hand on his cheek, turned his gaze to her own. "You've been where there's no path. You've survived and become...so much more than you once were." He didn't answer her, so she went on. "Think about it. Just promise me you'll do that...if we run across the kid."

He shook his head, clearly uncomfortable with all of this. "You're wrong about me." He knew it was true, but there was...there was a tiny part of him that thought she might be right. A tiny part that wanted her to be right. But that was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

"Promise me we'll talk about it if we run across the boy." She was clearly not about to take no for an answer, so he reluctantly nodded, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.

"You are stubborn, Hera Syndulla."

"One of these days, you're going to realize that I'm usually right, too." She kept a light tone to her voice as they made their way back to the bed, but she was still worried about him. The memory of the last time he'd suffered through this alone hadn't left her mind, and she was going to make damn sure that he wasn't alone anymore. She thought about calling off their meeting with Vizago's contact. "Look, love. We can cancel this meet and go hang out in a quiet little corner of the rim for a while..." Force knew that the Empire Day celebration on Malastare would be off the charts, and that was the last thing he needed now.

He shook his head. "No!" He continued on in a softer voice. "No. I'm fine." He sat on the bed and ran a hand through his dark mass of hair.

"Okay." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Settle in. I'll be right back after I let the crew know that everything's ok." His nod made her feel a little better, and she silently renewed her promise to keep a sharp eye on him for the next few days.

She turned to go, but he reached out and captured her hand in his own. "Thanks, Hera."

"None needed, love." She squeezed his hand in return and between them, nothing else needed to be said.


	22. Chapter 22

22.

 **A/N: So...you know when you edit, edit, edit and edit and you edit so much that it seems like it's never ready for posting? That's how I feel, so I'm giving it up and posting...to hell with waiting. Any errors are my own...but maybe you will be kind enough to overlook them. Hope I did Ezra justice. I still feel like I'm exploring his character, and he doesn't feel nearly as "right" as the others, but maybe I will get better at him with the next chapter. If you're still reading, thank you. I really appreciate the reviews!**

* * *

The skinny kid stood in front of the large chunk of highly polished durasteel that he used as a mirror and examined his dark hair that had grown way too long. He was small for his age, often mistaken for a child of ten or twelve, but in truth, he had just turned fourteen on Empire day. Sometimes appearing younger had its advantages, and he knew how to play on that when he had to. Survival was something that Ezra Bridger had become very, very good at. He knew how to lie, cheat and steal with the best of them and it didn't bother his conscience to do it. Most of the time. After all, a kid had to eat.

Taking a hank of his dark hair in his left hand, he used his knife to shear it off. Bit by bit, he continued until he had it evened up as best as he could. It still looked a bit shaggy, but at least it wouldn't be flopping into his eyes all the time. He swept the loose hair out of the door of the tower, where the high, nearly constant winds of Lothal's plains blew it away.

In the doorway he sat down and watched the sunset of another day take the sky and melt it into a smear of reds, oranges and yellows, bordered by the blue-black of oncoming night. The late summer insects chirped in the grasses below, turning the early evening into a quiet nocturne of sound. Ezra rested his chin on his knees and let his eyes roam the area around abandoned communications tower E-272 where he made his home.

Below, a familiar white and grey Loth cat stalked a giant grasshopper through the grass. The animal was a regular around the tower, although it rarely came near; he watched it pounce and then trot off with his prey. "At least someone's eating well tonight," he muttered to himself. He watched the cat until it was out of sight, then he sighed heavily and went back into the tower to grab his own dinner: a bruised Jogan fruit he'd lifted from a street vendor who could afford to lose it and a protein bar that tasted vaguely like wet duraboard. Not that he knew from personal experience, but it did have a weird texture and smell that conjured up the paper product.

"At least **I'm** not eating Loth-hopper tonight." He grimaced, reminding himself that dinner had been and could be again as bad as that. He'd been able to scam some new vendors in town for the food, or he would have been trash-hopping with the rest of Lothal's homeless this evening. That thought made the paper-like flavor of the protein bar a bit more palatable.

As he chewed mechanically, he rummaged through his backpack, finding another Jogan and setting it carefully on a shelf. Then he pulled out the metal parts he'd collected that day. Usually he would sell things he "salvaged" or stole, but he kept some things, like his collection of stormtrooper helmets, in the tower. The metal parts he'd found were part of a smaller collection that he had been accumulating lately. Upending the nerf hide bag, he spilled out the few parts he already had, and then added the others he'd found today. There were magnetic rings, a power cell, and several corrugated tube-like pieces of metal. He had no idea why they had caught his attention, but he found them interesting as he flipped them over in his hand. Maybe he **would** sell them. The powercell would be worth a little on its own, although the other ones were probably just junk. He was short on money, as well as supplies, and knew that he might need the credits that the powercell could bring in. He left it out for tomorrow and rebagged the rest of the parts.

When he turned around, the Loth-cat was sitting there, watching him.

"Hey there," he said, munching the last of the protein bar. "You're too late to get a handout, fella."

The cat mewed and came toward him, rubbing against his shin guard. He knelt down and rubbed his hand over the animal's head, feeling the fluffy fur spring up against his fingertips. "I have a feeling you like Loth-hopper better than a protein bar anyway."

It meowed at him as if it agreed. Even though it was just a cat, he found he liked the company; it could get pretty lonely in the communications tower. Sometimes he got tired of being alone, but on the streets, being alone was safest. For everyone. Friends just complicated things until they finally decided to stab you in the back. Everyone would sell you out sooner or later for the right price, and there was no use pretending otherwise. It was a truth about life that Ezra had accepted a long time ago.

He left the door open just a little, went over to one of the consoles, and after flipping a few dials, he could hear the crackling static of Imperial comm traffic. Pulling up a storage crate to sit on, he watched the cat stalk over to him, then crawl in his lap. "Oh. So we're friends now, huh?" He scratched the cat on the head as he listened to the basic comm traffic of arrests and patrols, using his imagination to track their movements around the city he knew so well. It always paid to know what buckethead SOP was because you never knew when you might need it.

As he listened, he could tell that there was more than usual going on. The Imps had stepped up patrols and were communicating more than usual with the ships stationed above the planet. It didn't take long to realize that some big shot must be coming to Lothal. This type of thing always happened whenever Arihnda Pryce, the Governor of the Lothal sector returned planetside. So maybe it was something like that; someone had decided to make a visit to the planet, possibly to monitor Pryce or her Minister, Maketh Tua and it had everyone on their toes.

For the next few days, it would pay to be extra careful. Any time the Empire was paying attention, it was best to lay low. That was a lesson that he'd learned at his parent's knee.

Ephraim and Mira Bridger had been speaking out against the Empire all of Ezra's life, and they had been careful. So very careful, and still, they'd gotten caught. A sudden pang of grief struck him when thinking about his parents, and he clenched his fists at the memory of them. He'd lost them when he was seven and had been alone ever since. All because of the Empire. Rapidly, like it always did, the grief boiled over into anger. Grief was useless. All he had time for was survival and sticking it to the Empire, in that order and he intended to make them pay.

Later that night, when he fell asleep on the threadbare blankets that he'd scrounged from his old house, he dreamed about his parents. They were trying to tell him something very important, but he was having trouble hearing them through noises of blaster fire and thunder. They pointed behind him, where a great light was shining behind a shadowed shape. He strained his eyes, to try and see if the tall shadow moving toward him was friend or foe, but he couldn't tell. When he turned back to his parents, they were gone too.

* * *

"Kriffing loth-rat. He'll steal you blind if you let him," muttered a customer in the pawn shop before moving on.

Ezra cut his eyes to the Rodian who had spoken, glaring for a moment before turning back to the human behind the counter with a dazzling smile. "I tested it; it's a good power cell."

"Probably stolen. No deal." Darno Jlix, the owner, shook his head. "Sorry kid. We got busted last week for buying stolen merchandise. I ain't getting busted again so soon."

With a frown, Ezra tucked the power cell back into his backpack, trying to ignore his grumbling stomach. "Fine." He turned and left, casting another angry glance at the Rodian before he made his way back out to the street.

It was too bad he hadn't been able to pawn the cell; it was the end of the week and his food stash had run out yesterday. He'd been keeping his eyes out for an opportunity to swipe something, or maybe run a job for a shopkeeper, but he'd heard nothing but "loth-rat," "move along" and "get lost."

He left the shop and walked along toward Old Jho's cantina, keeping his eyes open for the increased Imperial presence. Usually Old Jho was good for a free meal, if you didn't go too often and if you didn't mind running an errand or two for him. It had been a few weeks since he'd had to stoop to asking for a handout, so he hoped he'd be successful.

* * *

Just as the sun set, Ezra peered over the rooftop across from the Capital City Imperial headquarters. He'd been observing for an hour and there was a great deal of coming and going. Everything seemed especially ship-shape as if in preparation for a visit from a higher-up. What Jho wanted to know was who. In exchange for a huge bowl of spicy meat and vegetable stew and a couple of loaves of the Cantina's bread (one of which he'd scarfed down more quickly than he wanted to admit), Ezra had promised to keep his eyes open for any strange comings and goings of the Imperial type and to report back to Jho.

Easy job, since he had a personal interest in the Imps and had been planning on staking them out from a safe distance anyway.

He perked up when he saw a shuttle landing on the pad next to the complex. A squad of special troopers exited first, blasters at the ready. Then a grey-clad Imperial, one of the higher-ups, exited, followed by a tall alien dressed in black and grey. The alien, a Pau'an, looked around for a moment, then cocked his head to the side as he seemed to focus his gaze in Ezra's direction. Ezra wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a smile break out on the alien's face which showed its even, pointed teeth.

Immediately, Ezra felt a cold crawling sensation inside his head. He ducked down so he wouldn't be seen, but he still felt the slime of something evil brushing against his mind, seeking to push its way in. "No...no...no...no." He muttered. A lost memory flashed back into his mind like a star; in response, he closed his eyes and drew all his awareness inside himself to hide. It was something he'd not done for a long, long time, something he'd forgotten he even knew how to do.

"Don't see me...don't see me..." The words were repeated like an incantation and the memory of his parent's friend washed back into his mind, calming him. - _Anytime you feel that shadow that I showed you, you_ _ **will**_ _make yourself really small like that, in your mind. Don't even stop to think about it. Just hide as I taught you, child, and you'll be safe.-_

He kept himself hidden, as another voice, this one smooth and laced with poison, tried to force him to reveal himself.

 ** _You are not without skill, child, but hiding will not save you. It will only delay the inevitable._**

The voice came from in his mind, but it was not his own; the very blast of it made him tremble in fear. He didn't understand how he knew, but he knew without question that it came from the Pau'an. He continued hiding, feeling his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to continue to breathe. After a moment, the creeping sensation on his skin finally faded and vanished to nothing. When enough of his courage had returned, he peered back over the wall and saw that the Pau'an was gone.

"Kriff..." Ezra muttered as he quickly slung on his backpack and made his way to the back wall of the building. He wasn't sure if the troopers were coming for him or not, but he wasn't going to stay around long enough to give the creature a better chance to find him. He leaped quickly, without thought, from one rooftop to another as his whirling thoughts began to calm. Maybe he was overreacting.

The focus of the Imperials usually didn't extend to the street people, unless one was stupid enough to get in their way. He'd just stay out of sight a few days, and things would be back to normal after the strange Pau'an and his little group of bucketheads left. Who knew why the sleemo was interested in him. Perhaps he'd only imagined the voice in his head. Anyway, making himself scarce felt like a good plan, so he began to make his way out of the city and through the darkened grassland towards home.

* * *

The Grand Inquisitor turned to Minister Maketh Tua, steepling his fingers together and regarding the nervous little woman. "I believe this Force-sensitive child must be one of your street-rats. If he were a child of registered citizens on Lothal we would have a record of him, would we not? All children on this planet should have their Force-sensitivity tested."

"Yes. W-we follow regulations," she nodded vigorously. "Should we put out the call to all patrols to be on the lookout for such a person?"

"Yes, but not over the comm. We don't want to accidentally alert our prey, do we? Comm silence in this situation, Minister. Bring any boy who meets the parameters to me so I can question them... personally."

"Yes, Grand Inquisitor."

* * *

 **Hope this lived up to expectations... :) Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next chapter will be coming along soon!**


	23. Chapter 23

23.

 **A/N : **Wow. Such a long time between chapters, I know. I have been busy with school and the chapter just didn't want to come out right! Ezra has been most difficult to write for some reason as well. Anyway, here it finally is and I hope it was worth the wait.

 **A canon note: ** I have departed from some of the things in canon just because I wanted something a bit more original about how Ezra and the crew met. I also had to tackle the problem of how much does Ezra know about his own Force-sensitivity? I also had to figure out a trick to explain how Ezra wasn't discovered sooner as well as how Kanan doesn't realize he can use the Force right away. (Force-stealth is a skill I read about on my good ol' handbook of Wookiepedia and you'll see how Ezra learned it later!) So please don't hate me if I changed something...I just did what I thought fit the story best and hopefully it's still good. Lastly, happy holidays to everyone! No matter which holiday you celebrate-I hope it's a good one!

* * *

The next few days, Ezra pondered over the incident with the Pau'an, as well as the half-remembered person from his childhood. The green-eyed man in his memory had been a friend of his parents, but he wasn't like Tseebo, whom Ezra remembered seeing often at the Bridger's. He was fairly certain that the strange, but kind man only came to their house once or twice when he was a kid. It had something to do with the transmissions that his parents were making from downstairs in the secret room, but he couldn't remember the details.

Last night's encounter had become a confusing knot in his mind—impossible to unravel. Somehow, the Pau'an had known that Ezra was watching his arrival. Even now he could feel the yellow eyes on him and see the row of dagger-sharp teeth grinning at him. He shuddered. Had he actually heard the alien's voice in his mind? He supposed anything was possible. Maybe the thing had some kind of telepathy. He'd actually felt the nauseating sensation of the creature's mind groping for him; Ezra's skin had begun to crawl and all he'd wanted to do was escape. Then he'd done the...done the _thing, the trick,_ whatever _it_ was and hidden himself completely from its hungry, grasping mind-seemingly without conscious thought.

 _-Anytime you feel that shadow that I showed you, you_ _ **will**_ _make yourself really small like that, in your mind. Don't even stop to think about it. Hide!-_

As Ezra sat fiddling with the pieces of tech that he'd collected, he closed his eyes and tried to _think, to remember…_

 _-His mother's voice: "Ezra...never show anyone what you can do, sweetheart. You've gotta keep this secret. Please." He could see her worried expression and feel her hands squeezing his shoulders hard._

 _The red-haired stranger: "Ezra...I want you to close your eyes and pay attention…"-_

In fragments, the memory began to return.

 _-He remembered only being able to close his eyes for a few moments before they popped back open to see the red-haired man's big hand stretched out in front of him, over Ezra's face. The lined palm was so close, it almost touched his cheek. He remembered feeling confused for a few moments until he felt a strange coldness sweep him._

" _Feel this, Ezra? You must hide like I taught you whenever you feel a shadow like this. Make yourself small, youngling."_

 _Ezra had giggled, thinking this was one strange, but fun game. Then, the coldness increased...a shadow of every nasty thing Ezra could imagine broke into his mind. Worms, snakes and darkness squirmed over him. Ezra saw a pair of great yellow eyes, rimmed in red, staring at him. The paralyzing terror left him without the ability to scream; soundless sobs escaped him as he gulped air, unable to break the spell._

 _The red-haired man spoke again when tears began to roll down Ezra's face. "You can do it. Hide yourself from the darkness, Ezra and you'll be safe."_

 _Ezra squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his small fists, and DID what the man had taught him. It felt like shrinking his mind down into a tiny spark, like hiding a light in the dark in an incredibly large space by cupping his hands around the tiny glow. Like a faint star in the great sky of night, he made his mind blend in with his surroundings._

 _The feeling of terror receded, then, and he opened his eyes when he felt the stranger place his palm against Ezra's cheek, gently smoothing away the tears with his rough thumb. "I'm so sorry, little one. But anytime you feel that darkness that I showed you, you_ _ **must**_ _make yourself really small like that, in your mind. Don't even stop to think about it. You_ _ **will**_ _hide like I taught you and you will be alright." There was something strange in the way he said the words, something that Ezra didn't understand, but it made him want to agree. He had nodded, then gladly reached for his mother when she scooped him up._

" _You scared him to death." The tight expression on his mother's face showed her disapproval._

" _Would you rather have him scared or dead? If they come for him, they will do worse than scare him. This way, he will remember what to do and it might save him."-_

The shreds of his reverie began to dissolve in his remembering, and he found himself holding a strange assemblage of parts in his hand. He'd unthinkingly made some sort of handle from the powercell and magnetic rings, but it fell apart as he dropped it. He ran his hands over his face. There was no way to understand his fragmented memories exactly, but clearly, whatever the stranger had taught him as a child had saved him from the Pau'an.

Ezra couldn't remember when he'd first realized he could do things that others could not. They were simple things, such as he sometimes knew who was at the door before they even knocked or he could jump amazingly high. Sometimes he dreamed things that came true. A day or two before his parents had been taken by the Empire, he had experienced a nightmare where men in white stormtrooper armor had beaten his parents and drug them away. He'd screamed himself hoarse, refusing to be soothed by either his mother or his father. The dream's horror was still vivid even all these years later, and at the memory, he felt a stinging sense of guilt. He should have been able to do something to save them, but he'd only been a frightened kid, unable to articulate the danger clearly.

He let out a sigh and slung the pieces back into his nerf bag, and scrubbed at the tears that stung his eyes. There was nothing to do about the past or the Pau'an. He would just have to be extra careful during his next few runs into town. Accidentally meeting the weird Imperial was the last thing he wanted to do.

* * *

Almost the whole next week was spent laying low at the communications tower as he monitored Imperial radio traffic for more information. There was nothing exciting on the comms for days. In fact it seemed too quiet. After five days, he felt comfortable that the sleemo was most likely gone, so he ventured out of his base.

His stomach rumbled and he tried to ignore it as he made his way into the city. He'd eaten the last bit of stale bread yesterday, and had hit the bottom of his very limited stored rations. Laying low, and then being out of circulation for a week had really put a dent in his emergency supplies.

He'd come out at late afternoon. The yellow sunlight caused the buildings to cast long shadows across the streets, and he stuck to these, mostly, moving from place to place without attracting too much notice. When he hit one of the local dives, he went around to the back. He knew a dishwasher at the restaurant and thought perhaps he could get a handout, or do some work around the place to earn a few credits.

But he had no luck; the man he had known had lost his job. Disheartened, head down, he went back to the sidewalk. Rounding the building, he ran into two troopers, bumping them by accident. They had stopped to monitor the crowd.

"Hold it right there." One of the troopers grabbed his arm as he started to duck back down the alley.

"I didn't mean to run into you. I'm sorry." Ezra put on his most innocent expression. "I was just running an errand for my parents, and I'm sooo late...I'm really gonna get it this time."

The trooper did not let him go, but held onto him. "Call it in '74."

The other trooper called over the comms: "This is trooper EV3274. We're coming in with a package."

The trooper holding him stared down at him, face hidden by his helmet. "You're not going anywhere, kid," he said grimly.

Ezra continued to squirm in his grip. "Look, I'm gonna get in trouble if I'm not back soon. Cut me a break…"

"...Copy that '74."

Ezra's eyes went wide; his head swiveled back and forth, searching for a way out. His mind measured the distance to the roof above him. If he could get free, he could jump to the top. It would be giving away the fact that he was able to do something that regular people couldn't seem to do, but...anything was better than being taken in by the troopers. Before he could take action, however, the troopers had him in a pair of binders. He was just about to protest when he heard a voice behind them.

"Thank the stars, you found my kid." It was a man's voice, filled with relief.

Ezra turned, to see a tall figure silhouetted by the sunlight behind him. The teen stared, uncomprehendingly, as the exact image from his dream became clearer. The man stepped forward and went on, laying a hand on Ezra's shoulder, "I sent him out for some supplies, and he forgot the credits. You'd forget your blasted head if it wasn't attached, kid." His blue-green eyes met Ezra's meaningfully.

"I'm sorry I forgot..." Ezra played along, hanging his head and hiding his expression. The man shook his head in pretended exasperation, but there was a warm expression in his eyes. Ezra couldn't figure out why this mysterious benefactor would go out of his way to help him.

"Yeah, and we need that stuff for dinner, kid. In fact, let's just get it done now together, then head back to the spaceport." He turned back to the troopers. "Look, I'm really sorry if he caused any problems...Is there a fine or anything?"

87 shook his head. "You'll have to take that up with the district commander. He's coming with us."

"Really?" The man looked down at Ezra with a reassuring smile, then fixed his gaze on the troopers. "But I sure don't understand. This is _**not**_ the boy you're looking for...we should just _**move**_ _**along**_." As he spoke, the tall man made a slight motion with his fingertips...a motion that stirred Ezra's memory, but he couldn't quite grasp what made the gesture look familiar. The troopers paused a moment, one of them cocking his head to the side as if in thought.

"C'mon '74. This isn't the boy we're looking for." The trooper's plastoid visor eyes were focused on the tall stranger as he removed Ezra's binders.

"Yeah." The other trooper said slowly, motioning with his blaster. "Move along."

"Thanks. C'mon, son. You've been gone so long that your mom is worried." The man kept his hand on Ezra's shoulder, guiding him away from the troopers.

As soon as they'd put some distance between themselves and the soldiers, Ezra spoke, stealing another glance at his rescuer. "How...how did you get them to do that? Just...just let me go like that?"

The side of the man's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "Just lucky, I guess."

"Uh...huh." Ezra replied. Something was weird here. "Okay... Well, uh, thanks. I don't know why you helped me out, but I appreciate it." He stopped, and the tall man turned to regard him with intense interest. "I guess I'll be going now."

"And you'll be recaptured in five minutes. Look, come with me, at least until we get back to the spaceport, or you'll just get picked up again." The tall man spoke low enough for just Ezra to hear. "They're looking for someone; I overheard them talking. You're safer with me for the time being."

"Ok, I guess I might as well; I've got nothing better to do." Ezra raised an eyebrow, but continued along with his new-found benefactor. They stopped several times for the man to make purchases of fruit, vegetables and protein packs, the spacer-type-freeze-dried rations that would keep for long periods. Ezra found his stomach rumbling as he watched the man shop. He thought about slipping a few things into his jacket, but decided he'd probably used up all his luck today already. On their way out of the store, the stranger handed Ezra a protein bar, along with one of the many bags they'd accumulated.

"Where you from, kid?"

"I'm from Lothal," he answered, his mouth almost too full to speak.

"Ah." The man nodded. They entered the spaceport and went to one of the bays while Ezra finished scarfing down the protein bar. "Look—I'm part of the crew on that freighter. Why don't you come in and get something to eat? My crewmate Zeb makes a great nerf stew."

Ezra realized that he'd been made. He'd caught the man giving him several sidelong looks as they shopped, and realized that something had given him away. Maybe it was his worn clothing and boots, or his disheveled hair. Or the fact that it had been a while since he'd had a good bath. The guy had that look in his eye that usually meant questions were going to be asked that Ezra really didn't want to answer. He shook his head. "Sorry, but I gotta go." Ezra knew there were plenty of reasons to be cautious about following some unknown spacer back to his ship, but this guy, for some reason, didn't trip his sleemo radar. He seemed trustworthy, but being cautious was second nature. Best not to take him up on his offer.

"Are you sure? We've got plenty."

A tall purple alien stepped off the ship and stood at the landing platform silently, watching them. "No...uh...thanks. Here's your bag." He held out the bag of food towards the man.

"Keep it. Like I said, we've got plenty." The man continued looking at him thoughtfully as the kid looked uncertainly at the exit.

"Really? Thanks. Um...my name's Ezra Bridger." Ezra felt like he owed the spacer that, at least. Usually on the street, he went by several different aliases, but he felt a weird compulsion not to lie, especially after the tall man had been so generous to him.

"Ezra." He said thoughtfully. "I'm Kanan Jarrus." He was looking again, really looking closely at Ezra as they regarded each other. "You look so familiar. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe?" His stomach gave a loud rumble. The protein bar had been great, but he was still hungry. He placed a hand over his stomach as if he could shut it up that way while his face flushed a little with embarrassment.

The purple alien had begun walking up to them as they continued speaking.

"Hey, Zeb, this is Ezra. The Empire was giving him a hard time today." Kanan looked at his friend, a member of a species that Ezra wasn't really familiar with. The alien's green gaze examined Ezra, then his serious expression was softened by a smile as Kanan went on. "I invited him to eat with us."

"Well, any enemy of the Empire is a friend of mine." Zeb stuck out a paw and Ezra shook it. "The name's Zeb. C'mon in kid. You look like you need a good meal, if you don't mind me sayin'."

"Uh...Okay." Ezra found himself giving in before he realized it. Zeb's exuberance was hard to refuse. And with that, Zeb placed a warm paw on Ezra's shoulder and began guiding him toward the freighter.

* * *

"Will you help set the table, Ezra?" Hera asked as she handed him some bowls from the cabinet. It wasn't like Kanan to bring home strays, but the kid seemed more than a little bit underfed, so she understood. She probably would have done the same thing herself. Also he'd apparently saved the kid from some over-zealous troopers, and that was a good thing.

She watched Ezra for a moment. He carried the stack of bowls to the table and began to spread them out, uncertainly. Then he toyed with the spoons. At first he placed them beside the bowl, then he placed them in the bowl as if trying to decide if that was right. He glanced over his shoulder and Hera smiled warmly at him. "That's fine, Ezra." He smiled with relief and she returned it.

When Kanan stood up from where he was storing supplies in the cabinet, Hera murmured to him under her breath. "What's his story?"

"Don't know." Kanan muttered back. "He needs a meal. Kid's too skinny."

Hera nodded, pouring a glass of blue milk and walking it over to Ezra. "Here you go. Zeb said the stew will be ready in a minute or two...you can sit right here." She settled Ezra on the right side of the booth.

Ezra nodded and sat down. He glanced around, taking a sip of milk and struggling for something to say. "You guys must not live here on Lothal, huh?"

"No." Hera sat down in a chair next to Ezra. "We travel around the Outer Rim, hauling cargo. We live here on the ship, most of the time. Have you lived on Lothal your whole life?"

"Yeah. My parents were born here too."

"Should we call them?" Hera asked. "Won't they be worried?"

"Oh, uh...no." He paused, then went on. "They're gone."

Hera met Kanan's eyes quickly and meaningfully before she looked back at the kid. "I'm sorry," She said, sensing he didn't want to talk about it. She simply placed a hand on his thin shoulder for a moment of silent sympathy.

He shrugged. "It's okay. It...uh...happened a long time ago." His heart lurched painfully and his hair fell forward into his eyes, hiding the sting of tears. He gathered himself, then glanced up to find everyone looking at him sympathetically.

"Believe me. We all understand. From personal experience, unfortunately." Sabine said, her warm brown eyes softening as she studied the younger teenager on her way over to the table. As she placed the loaf of brown bread on the table, she said, "Hope you like plenty of bread. It'll help you choke down Zeb's stew."

"Hey! I heard that!" Zeb grumbled from the kitchen. He came in with the stew and set it on the table.

"She teases him, but it's actually pretty good." Kanan admitted as they all sat down to eat.

During dinner, Ezra ate three bowls of stew, prompting Zeb to jokingly ask Kanan how many stomachs humans actually had. There was plenty, however, and when done, no one was still hungry. When Hera and Sabine got up to clear the table, Ezra did the same, taking dishes to the kitchen and obviously expecting to help.

"Thanks, Ezra. Sabine and I will get it from here. We take turns with the kitchen duties." She cast a glance at Kanan. "Why don't you show Ezra around while we finish these up?"

"Sure." Kanan nodded, pointing the way toward the cockpit. He could hear Hera and Sabine whispering in low voices behind them; he was sure they were talking about Ezra. The kid had an odd charisma about him and he'd caught their attention, just like he had with Kanan.

Ezra followed him toward the front of the ship. "So. What do you guys **really** do?" He studied the instrument panels, then took a seat in order to spin it around.

Kanan grinned at the way that Ezra had already figured out they were a little more than just cargo haulers. Smart kid. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"Like what's your side job? You guys aren't just spacers. I see them come and go a lot."

Kanan gave a you-caught-me smile and said, "We do fly cargo, but we also fly around the Rim finding ways to mess up the Empire's plans."

"Like the rebels they're always talking about." Ezra's blue eyes gleamed with interest, but he tried to play it off.

"Maybe." Kanan watched as the kid stood up and approached Chopper, who was charging. "Be careful, he's..."

Chopper extended his electro-shock prod, which began to spark. There was an offended chirping as the astromech warned the kid not to to get too close.

"He can be a little...uh..."

"Rude?" Ezra looked back at the droid. Eventually the grumpy astromech retracted the prod and went back into charging mode after chirping angrily in response to Ezra.

"Be nice Chopper," Kanan warned. "Yeah. Believe it or not, it's his most endearing quality. It's better not to ask about the rest. Come on." Kanan led him to the crew quarters, opening his own room to allow Ezra a peek inside. "Here's the crew quarters. You ever been off-planet?"

"No." Ezra caught sight of something that flashed, sitting on a table by the door, and made a beeline toward it, as if attracted to it. "Hey, what **is** this?" He prodded the small, squarish-shaped glass and metal box with one finger.

"It's like...like a puzzle." Kanan gestured to it. "Go ahead. See if you can open it."

Ezra took the gleaming cube in his hands as Kanan walked back out in the hallway. "Bring it with you if you want," he called casually. "Back here's the cargo bay."

Ezra followed him through the rest of the ship, asking questions as he continuously turned the holocron in his hands. Kanan watched him covertly. The kid had a mechanic's hands; it was evident in the way Ezra worked his fingers along the seams of the box, pressing with light, then firm pressure as he tried to discover the mechanism that opened it. Again, he was struck with how familiar the kid seemed. He hadn't sensed any force-sensitivity in Ezra, but Kanan wondered again if this was the kid that he'd seen in his visions or perhaps the kid that his master had told him to watch for.

When they entered the common area, Hera noticed right away that Ezra had Kanan's Jedi holocron. She raised an eyebrow at Kanan, who held up both hands wordlessly behind Ezra's back.

"Hey. Can I talk to you for just a minute?" Hera asked. Sabine and Zeb had caught Ezra's attention with a game of dejarik, so he would be occupied for a few minutes at least.

"Sure." Kanan raised an eyebrow, but Hera didn't speak; she headed for his quarters. When the door closed, she leaned back against it and tackled her subject head-on.

"This kid...can you tell if he's Force-sensitive?"

Kanan shook his head. "I don't think he is. I can't...can't be sure though. He was drawn to that holocron like a sarlacc to sand. He seems familiar somehow."

"Kinda weird that he would just show up like this, isn't it?" She studied Kanan's face and thought back to the past two weeks since Empire Day. She'd been worried about him, but he'd suffered no more nightmares since that last one. She didn't really understand how his Jedi Master had been able to contact him, but apparently whatever he'd experienced had eased his heart a great deal. Still, though, Empire day had been spent in the Ghost, just the five of them. The way Sabine and Zeb had pitched in to help Kanan over the rough patch had really cemented the feeling of family. Was this kid the sixth of their crew? She wondered.

A sudden thought came to her. "Look. Let's hire him to help out around the _Ghost_ for a few days. That would give us more time for you to feel out the situation, and it wouldn't hurt the kid to get some regular meals."

Kanan surprised her by agreeing readily. "Good idea. You wanna ask him or do you want me to?"

"We both will." She answered, turning toward the door, then back around to regard him. "You know, I have a good feeling about this."

"Yeah, me too."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I think this story gets harder and harder to write as it goes on, but, trust me, I am not giving up until it's finished (and we're nearing the end). I hope this chapter's not too disjointed...but I think I've edited all I can. The next chapter has so a lot more action in it, but some of the developments in this chapter just had to happen first. (And don't worry, we haven't seen the last of our friend the Grand Inquisitor...dun dun dun!) So let me post this and get back to writing. School is back in session, so I have to use every free moment to work on this and try to stay a chapter or two ahead. Thanks again for all the comments. They mean so much to me!**

* * *

24.

"Hey, Ezra. Hand me that screwdriver." Kanan held out a hand and Ezra quickly located the tool. The kid was a hard worker and had followed Kanan around the past three days like a shadow, at first quiet, but over time, he'd begun to open up and ask questions.

"So, how much action have you guys seen? That carbon scoring on the hull looks bad."

Kanan didn't answer at first as he paid attention to his work. Hera had instructed them to fix the loose panel on the Ghost's environmental system, then pointed out the carbon scoring on the ship that needed to be scrubbed off. Zeb was above, working on the Phantom. It promised to be a pretty easy day, and Kanan planned on using it to get to know the kid better. Ezra most likely wasn't the boy they were looking for, but knowing he was an orphan and struggling out on his own, Kanan couldn't help but feel a certain kinship with him. The kid not only had a lot of charisma, but also a quick mind for someone so young. He and Hera had talked about it and guessed that he must be somewhere between ten or twelve years old.

Once he had the old screw out and the replacement screw in the right place, he began to turn it. "Um...we had a run in with some Ties a while back...we ran into them almost by accident...Son-of-a-bantha!" The screw Kanan was tightening had broken and he had scraped his knuckles on a sharp edge of the panel. He dropped the tool and grabbed his injured hand. Blood welled between his fingers and he took a deep breath, glancing over at Ezra, who had taken two steps back and was watching Kanan with wide eyes.

Kanan quickly realized that he'd scared the kid pretty good, and he felt guilty. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Ezra seemed to relax a little, and he flashed an uncertain smile. Kanan returned it, then looked down at his gouged and bleeding knuckles. "Hey, uh… could you hand me a rag?"

Ezra found the cleanest one in the tool box and held it out to Kanan, who took it and wrapped it around his busted knuckles. "Okay, that'll do for now. See if you can find the broken screw extractor."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distract you with so many questions..." Ezra found what he thought Kanan was looking for and held it out.

"It wasn't your fault; I just need to be a little more careful." Kanan nodded towards the screw. "Go ahead."

Ezra removed the broken shaft of the screw and replaced it with a new one, while Kanan watched and explained their last run in with the Empire.

"...Hera's a great pilot and she got us out of there while Sabine and I manned the guns. It wasn't that close of a call, but one of those Ties got in a few good shots first."

"Wow. What you guys do is amazing." Ezra murmured as he began to replace the tools in the toolbox, his hair falling into his downcast eyes. "My parents...they...disagreed with the Empire too. They would broadcast about what the Empire was doing to innocent people in the Outer Rim...they tried to inspire people to fight back..."

Kanan considered the kid's words, surprised and touched that he would choose to open up a little about his past. "Then they were the type of people I would've admired."

Ezra realized this was the first time he'd really talked to anyone about his parents. The story slowly unwound from him like a knot being unraveled. "The Empire took them away and I'm pretty sure they were killed. They never came back for me, so I figure they had to have been killed by the troopers." He turned and replaced their tools in the toolbox as he spoke.

"Hey, take a seat." Kanan went from standing to sitting in one fluid movement and gestured for Ezra to do the same. "How did you escape? You had to have been very young..."

"I hid in the secret compartment below the house. It's where their broadcasting equipment was located. No one ever knew about it."

"How old were you?"

"Seven."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "You mean you have been on the street since you were seven?" Kanan murmured, scanning Ezra's face and realizing what that meant.

"Yeah. No one really wanted to get involved. The people that were friends of my parents...they wouldn't even talk to me." He let his head fall and his hands absently went to tightening the strap on the shin guard that he wore on his right leg.

"How old are you now?"

"Fourteen."

Kanan studied the kid's features for long moments while struggled for words. Never would he have imagined that Ezra was fourteen. "Ezra...I'm so sorry you lost them." Kanan reached out with his good hand and placed it on Ezra's shoulder. Kanan knew the struggle of survival on the streets, from personal experience, just not at such a tender age! It was a miracle the kid was still alive.

Ezra nodded in response, but then, after a moment, he gathered himself and his face hardened as he looked up. "Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for the Empire, when I get done with them." His jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth. "I'll make them pay for what they did to my parents."

The boy's sudden anger flashed with its dark brightness. Kanan was familiar with the taint of the dark side; he'd felt it winding its way around him during those first few years after losing his Master, who had been the only family he'd ever had. It was only after he'd met Hera that he'd gotten a handle on it. But finding out that Ezra had been orphaned at seven was enough to make his emotions boil—it hit that close to the story of his own past that he found it hard to control his emotions. He pushed the anger away and took a deep breath, in order to think more clearly.

The kid had every right to feel angry, but Kanan knew the danger in going down the path Ezra was walking. "I understand how you feel. The Empire took someone away from me too. It's easy to let that anger take over."

Ezra's eyes met Kanan's quickly. "What happened?"

Kanan sighed. "It's a very long story, but suffice it to say that she was like a parent to me, and she died at the hands of the...agents of the Empire. For a long time, I was in a dark place, but I finally found my way out. It wasn't easy."

"I'm sorry." Ezra murmured, looking at Kanan with new eyes.

"So, I know how you feel, Ezra. You're gonna feel angry. When it happened to me, I wanted to take down every Imperial I saw. I'm surprised I didn't get myself killed, especially in those first few years. But I let my anger overwhelm me until I didn't care about anyone or anything, least of all myself. That's a bad way to be. Do you know what I'm saying?"

There was a long pause as the kid stared down at his hands, now worrying the strap on his left knee pad, and finally, Kanan put his good hand on Ezra's shoulder to get a response. The boy looked up at him with indecision in his eyes. "I can't just forget them. I can't just say it's okay and move on..."

"I would never tell you to forget them, Ezra. They are a part of you and always will be." He thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully, knowing that they could be the difference between the kid listening to his words or dismissing them. "What the Empire did to your parents and my. . . family is not okay. It's never going to be okay, but you do have to move on. In a way that would honor their memory. That's...that's what I'm trying to do. If you lose yourself in anger and hatred...then you've given the Empire it's last victory… not just over your family, but over you as well."

Ezra's blue eyes were studying Kanan's face as he spoke. "It...it sounds like good advice, but hard to do. I need to think about what you said a while."

Kanan nodded. "I wish I'd done more thinking and less...well, less of the other stuff. C'mon, I'll get this bandaged up. In the meantime, you should go see what Zeb's up to in the _Phantom_."

* * *

Zeb actually took charge of the kid for the rest of the afternoon. The Lasat and Ezra seemed to get along great, and they spent the time cleaning the hull and horseplaying outside the ship. That left Kanan sitting in the co-pilot's seat while Hera ran much-needed diagnostics. The Twi'lek had been watching him for some time out of the corner of her eye, and she knew something was up. He'd come in and explained the bandage on his knuckles, then told her what the progress was on the repairs so far. Then, he'd remained, staring at nothing as she sometimes found him doing when the ship skimmed its way through hyperspace.

"Spill it," she ordered after long moments, an amused smile playing around the corners of her mouth. He was so handsome when he was lost in thought.

"Huh?" He blinked, looking around as if he'd been a million miles away.

"Spill it, what's on your mind?" Hera hummed, turning to Chopper. "Chopper, run diagnostics on the ship's environmental controls."

After Chopper chirped an affirmative, Kanan answered. "It's that kid...We had a pretty good talk after I banged my hand up. He told me more about his parents...and it's bad. He's had a tough time."

"What did he say?"

"His parents used to protest against the Empire with illegal broadcasts from their house. They were arrested for it, and probably killed. No one would help him after his parents were arrested—he's been on his own since he was **seven**."

"Seven? Stars, Kanan..." Hera swore softly, stopped what she was doing and turned completely to face him, who shrugged his shoulders like he didn't know what else to say. She thought a moment, then spoke softly. "You see yourself in him, don't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "He's got so much anger in him. I was the same way..."

"Was?" She gently prodded. "So you've changed?" She raised an eyebrow at him as she asked what already had been very obvious to her.

"Well, yeah. Doing what...what we do is better than just letting anger eat away at you. I was just...just trying to get myself killed all those years I was floating from place to place, drinking too much, fighting too much...not caring if I woke up the next day or not..."

She could see his jaw tighten as he spoke about his past, and she reached out to touch his arm. "Kanan...you don't..."

"I **have** changed. You, Zeb and Sabine have changed me for the better. What we do together...honors everything I lost. I believe in what we're doing now, and I have you to thank for that. Hera...I haven't believed in anything for a long, long time."

Hera's green eyes seemed to glow as she looked at him through a sheen of tears. "Well, don't think that you haven't changed us as well, because you have. I'm proud of you, Kanan Jarrus."

"You wouldn't have said that if you had seen me back then." Again, Kanan's face hardened as he remembered his past and looked away, feeling unworthy of her admiration.

"All I care about is now." She leaned in and kissed him longingly. When they parted, they remained close, taking each other's breath. He returned her kiss with another burning touch of his mouth against her own. She sighed and placed a hand on his chest. "Okay. If we keep doing that, something **very** inappropriate might happen." She raised an eyebrow at him and smiled ruefully. "And we have to think of the kids on the ship."

"Yeah, you're right..." He let out a sigh as well. He took her hand in his own and brushed the back of it gently with his thumb.

"You know, it's your turn to cook tonight. Do you have the stuff to make mynock cloud city?"

"For you, I can get it. Dinner around 1800 hours?"

"Mmm. Sounds lovely."

"Hera?" Kanan stopped at the door and turned around. Hera had returned to her data pad, but looked up when she sensed his attention on her. "Thanks...for giving me something to believe in again."

She gave him a brilliant smile in reply and stood up to throw her arms around him. He returned the gesture and held her a moment, his breath brushing the top of her pilot's cap as he laid a kiss there. "I believe in you," she whispered against his chest. "I always have."

* * *

When Hera entered the common room after cleaning up in the fresher, she saw that Ezra and Kanan had dinner well under way. Ezra had showered earlier and was now wearing one of Kanan's shirts and his drawstring sleep pants, which were oversized on his small frame. It had given Hera a chance to launder Ezra's clothes under the pretense that they'd gotten dirty during the workday.

"This is a WESTAR-35. Now the safety's on, but still keep it pointed to the ground. Don't ever point a blaster at anything you aren't prepared to shoot." Sabine and Ezra stood over near her room, as she allowed him to handle her weapon. Hera did a double take at that before glancing to Kanan, who shrugged with a smile on his features.

"Someone's making friends." Hera muttered under her breath.

"It's heavy, but in a good way." Ezra said as he hefted its weight in his palm.

"About ready to eat, guys." Kanan called out.

"Yeah. It's a lot more compact than Kanan's DL-18. They both have their good features, though… especially when it comes to accuracy..." Ezra continued to ask questions as Sabine returned her blasters to her room. Once Kanan brought the dish to the table, everyone took a seat.

"I'm starved." Zeb dug in first, then everyone followed. During dinner, Kanan caught Ezra looking at Sabine several times with something like awe. It was obvious she'd begun to make quite an impression on the kid, and it again reminded him that Ezra was older than he looked. As they finished dinner, Zeb told a humorous story about how his fellow officers had set him up for a practical joke on Lasan, back in happier times. Kanan and Hera offered to do the dishes after dinner, and that left Zeb, Sabine and Ezra talking at the table.

"How about a game of Horansi?" Zeb asked Sabine, desperate to make up the last few games he'd lost to Sabine. Ezra didn't know how to play the game so he nabbed the holocron from where he'd left it the other day, and settled down to watch them. They were very competitive, he thought as he began to work the edges of the square again, pressing and turning the cube.

Zeb began to tell a story about working as a bouncer on Olien as he and Sabine got into their game:

"Now if you've ever tried to wrestle a very drunk Wookie, it's sort of like fighting a Bantha rug. They just flop all over everywhere." His story of the best ways to eject a drunken Wookie from a bar made them all laugh. Kanan, who had also been a bouncer from time to time verified Zeb's account. In the middle of the story, there was a metallic noise from Ezra's side of the table.

Sabine and Zeb looked up at the small clink. Kanan turned his head toward Ezra; his sharp intake of breath was the loudest thing in the room.

The holocron had flown into pieces and was hovering above Ezra's open hand, painting their faces with its blue glow. Ezra's eyes had widened in shock as he took in the slowly revolving bits of metal.

Kanan realized that he could SEE Ezra fully, for the first time. His Force-signature was bright, a brilliant beacon—the likes of which Kanan had not seen for a long, long time. It suddenly reminded him of the Jedi Temple and its high golden spires, and he felt a swift twist of longing tug at his heart. In addition, the Force seemed to be murmuring to him, urging him on by saying _yes, yes, yes_.

"Kriff, what the Force…?" Kanan swore softly to himself, walking toward the kid. "You **are** the one I saw. Ezra. . .I didn't think..."

At once, Ezra's eyes flashed to Kanan, his concentration lapsed and the holocron pieces clattered to the table, scattering everywhere. "I'm sorry." He sputtered as he jumped up, knocking his chair over in the process. They would know. They would know he was a freak and they would turn him in. His bare feet slipped on the floor as he backed away from them.

 _-Not even a friend, Ezra. You can't tell anyone what you can do.-_ The memory of his mother's words came back, sudden and swift, striking notes of warning in his mind.

"No. Ezra. No...stop." Kanan was struggling for words as he looked at Ezra, seeing him more clearly than ever. Somehow he hadn't sensed the boy's Force-abilities before. Now, knowing what to look for, he could see the frightened kid's hidden aura shining like a small sun.

Ezra backed until he hit against the bulkhead wall hard. They were all staring at him: Hera, Zeb and Sabine. They were looking at him with wide eyes, surely afraid of him…just like his parents had always said people would react if they knew. And then Kanan. He was standing up and approaching Ezra slowly. He was saying something, holding out open hands in front of him, but Ezra could no longer hear it over the sound of the blood pounding in his ears. Alarm bells were sounding in his head and all he could think of to do was flee. With a quick turn to the side, he went to run, but was stopped, caught up in Kanan's arms.

"I'm sorry. Please...let me go. I'll go. I'm sorry." He begged, frantically. In his panic, it seemed like the walls began to close in. Kanan's vice-like grip on him didn't help. Suddenly his breath seemed to catch in his chest and he couldn't breathe.

He turned, despite the strong arms that held him, and met Kanan's blue-green eyes. "No…no...You don't have to do this..." Ezra murmured, his breath harsh and pained as he pulled away.

Kanan lessened his grip, not wanting to hurt the boy. He knew this panic; he'd lived with it every day since Order 66. The need to hide being Force-sensitive, to obliterate a large facet of one's existence caused such fear. The cost of discovery was just so high. "Ezra…kid…listen to me." His firm, but gentle touch turned Ezra's face to meet his eyes as he sent waves of calm through the Force. "No one's going to turn you in or hurt you, Ezra. C'mon, kid."

The teenager slipped out of his hands and sank down to the floor, balling up as he continued to plead in a whisper. "I didn't know...I didn't mean to do it. Please don't...don't turn me in..." Tears began to slip down his face as he turned away to the wall as if he could melt into it.

Kanan could see the kid trembling, and he knelt down and did the only thing he knew how to do to stop it. He pulled the kid into his arms and hugged him. "You're safe." He whispered into the top of the blue-black hair. "We would never hurt you, Ezra." Again he reached into the Force and this time began to wrap Ezra in it, letting the calming waves lap around the edges of Ezra's fear and wash it away. The Force seemed to respond again with a sigh of approval, urging Kanan in the right direction. The feeling of _yes, yes, yes_ was undeniable now. This kid. He was the one.

After several moments, Hera watched as Ezra melted into Kanan's arms and clung to him like a drowning swimmer, tears running down his face the whole time. Hera and Kanan met each other's eyes over Ezra's head as the Jedi murmured soothing words to the terror-stricken kid.

After long moments, Ezra's sobs slowed. Once Kanan was sure the kid wouldn't bolt or shudder himself into pieces, he loosened his grip. The kid sat back and tried to scrub the tears away from his face. "W...why?" He asked in halting tones, afraid to look at them. "Wh..why?"

"What do you mean, kid?" Zeb asked softly, his ears twitching in confusion.

"Why wouldn't you turn me in to the Empire? I know what...what kind of money ki...kids like me are w...worth." His gaze finally lifted and went from one of them to the other. At that, Zeb realized just how bone deep Ezra's terror went as he watched the kid struggle to get out the words.

"We don't care about money, kit. That's just not what we do." Ezra didn't look convinced at Zeb's reassurances. His face, red and tear streaked went from Zeb to Kanan and then Hera, unconvinced.

"Ezra." Kanan answered the question by reaching out towards the table. The holocron pieces that had been scattered when Ezra's hold on the Force had been broken reassembled themselves as they had been when the kid had held it, the tiny pieces orbiting around the larger crystal holographic emitter. It floated to Kanan slowly, catching the light and sparkling in its graceful flight. "That's why, Ezra. Because, just like you, I can use the Force."

Slowly, a tiny blue hologram appeared above the holocron and began to speak in accented tones. "This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen with a dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple...that time has past. And our future is uncertain. We will each be challenged. Our trust. Our faith. Our friendships. But we must persevere. And in time, a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always."

Ezra's blue eyes were huge as he watched the holocron reassemble and settle in Kanan's hand after its message was finished. The crystal went dark. "Kriff." The kid sat back on his heels and wiped his face with the long sleeves of his shirt. Hera remained beside him, offering her reassuring presence, but she, too, was in awe of the message along with Sabine and Zeb. They knew Kanan had been a Jedi, but seeing that message made it more real somehow.

"You're…You were a Jedi?" Ezra was stunned.

Kanan nodded. "I was young. A padawan learner when...the end of the Jedi Order came."

"How did you survive? The Empire killed all the Jedi...they said they were traitors to the Republic, but...um..." Ezra paused, afraid he'd said something wrong.

"Go on..." Kanan said evenly; Hera noticed his blue-green eyes went dark at the reminder of the lies that had been told about the Jedi after the Purge, and she felt for him.

"Well, I never believed them. My parents said it was an Imperial lie. They told me the Jedi would never knowingly betray the Republic and its people." Ezra's mind was buzzing with questions. "That was true, right?"

"Yeah. We were not traitors . . . at least none of the Jedi I knew personally. As for your question about surviving...well, it's kind of a long story..." Kanan hesitated.

Hera noticed Kanan's reluctance and seamlessly covered for him. With the kid's violent reaction of a few moments ago, a recounting of Kanan's most horrible day was probably not in the best interests for either Ezra or Kanan. "Ezra, how long have you known that you had these abilities?"

Sabine and Zeb knelt nearby, while Hera and Kanan continued sitting on the floor near Ezra, comforting him. "Ever since I can remember. My parents told me never show anyone what I could do, so I kept it a secret..."

"They knew." Kanan said softly, looking to Hera. "If Ezra would have been born before...before the Purge, then he would have been found by the Jedi Order and trained like I was." He turned back to Ezra. "Your parents must have done the best they could to keep your abilities a secret." Inwardly, he wondered how many parents were struggling to protect their children in this way.

"That man in the hologram. He was a Jedi, right?" Ezra asked.

Kanan nodded. "Jedi Master Kenobi."

"He reminds me of someone. A man that used to visit my parents. He was different-like me."

Kanan raised an eyebrow and glanced to Hera, before focusing back on Ezra. "Do you know his name?"

"No...not anymore. I was really small. He came around only twice, then I never saw him again. But he warned me to hide my abilities. He showed me how."

"What do you mean? Can you show me what he showed you?"

Ezra closed his eyes and remembered. "He told me it was like making yourself really small. Like hiding a light in a great darkness…"

Kanan glanced at Hera. "He's describing Force-stealth. That's how they taught younglings to do it at the Temple. I remember playing hide and seek while using it." As he watched, Ezra's great strength in the Force was muted and his Force-presence shrunk to the size of a pinpoint. It would have been almost impossible to sense Ezra's presence in the Force if the kid was employing Force-stealth; he was that practiced at that one thing. His teacher had to have been a Jedi.

The kid's eyes opened slowly. "He told me to beware of people who have a coldness about them. He showed me what they were like and it was...it was awful. Are those the people that killed the Jedi?"

"I'm not sure." Kanan replied. "There are those that choose to use the dark side of the Force. Maybe…that's what he was referring to."

"The dark side of the Force?" Ezra asked.

"Yeah." Kanan glanced around him and saw they were all waiting for an explanation. "The Force comes from and moves through all living things. The Jedi used the Force for positive purposes—like to gain wisdom and protect others. Dark side users harness negative emotions like fear, anger, hatred and aggression to acquire their power which is usually used to hurt, dominate and control other beings." As Kanan spoke, he was surprised how the teachings he'd tried to push away came back so clearly. He could almost hear Master Yoda speaking as he relayed the information to the kid in front of him. Again, a swift ache for something he'd long ago thought he'd forgotten.

"I think...I think I felt that before." Ezra murmured to himself. "Someone was after me. I could hear him...in my head." The boy's voice became a low whisper. "I knew he wanted to find me and h-hurt me. It felt like bugs crawling over my skin and into my mind and...he s-said it w-was just a m-m-matter of time b-before..."

Ezra's eyes had closed as he relived his memory of the Pau'an. When Kanan touched him on the arm, he was shivering again in fear and he launched himself into Kanan's arms, not caring if he looked like a scared little kid. Kanan wrapped his arms around Ezra, surprised at how much affection he felt already for the kid after so short a time. They would probably talk more about this later, but with the night falling in on them, this was not the time. "Okay. It's okay. That's enough for now," he soothed. "Nothing's going to hurt you here." He looked over Ezra's head at everyone and saw nothing but sympathy in their eyes. He could feel that each of them cared for Ezra and seeing the kid fall to pieces in front of them was almost too much. "They would have to get through me first."

"And me." Zeb said, leaning in to place a hand on Ezra's shoulder.

"Me too." Sabine said softly.

"And me." Hera finished, placing her hand on Ezra's other shoulder.

"Th..thanks." Ezra smiled just a little, but Hera thought his eyes still looked troubled.

"You're welcome, love." Hera reached up and smoothed the boy's thick sable hair. Her heart was relieved to feel Ezra's sigh as he relaxed back against Kanan, like a little kid that had found his home at last. "You're so welcome."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Yay! Here's a new chapter! I hope you love it as much as I do...Oh, and this chapter picks up the same night as Chapter 24 leaves off. Several people have remarked that Ezra is a little different here than in the show. I really tried to get inside of him and find that good little kid that he was before he had to "put on" the facade of "mouthy street kid." I figure that good side was within him all along, it just took Kanan, Hera and the rest of the crew to "wake it up" or bring it to the surface. :)**

* * *

25.

It was night, and the Grand Inquisitor was meditating inside the quarters he currently occupied on Lothal. He had been here for the last few days to oversee reports of rebel activity in the sector; it was just supposed to be a quick fact-finding mission until he'd felt the presence of the Force-sensitive boy. For some reason the boy had been watching the Empire's complex and he'd sensed the child immediately upon arriving.

The boy had a strong presence in the light side. He had shone as brightly as a star until he'd sensed the Inquisitor's push inside his mind. Then he had hid, just like most of the Jedi cowards had done. In fact, with the skill it took, the Inquisitor was almost certain that this boy had to have a Jedi mentor somewhere. They'd been catching them since the Purge, hiding like Loth-rats all over the galaxy.

He'd quickly commed Lord Vader that he would need a few more days on this planet, assuring him that there was something worth investigating here. Then he'd set up his network of troopers and spies. He did think the boy had to be homeless, an orphan with no records in the Empire's network, but he was willing to admit that it was just a feeling; he had no explicit data to go on, yet.

About an hour ago, he'd begun to feel a disturbance in the Force. The balance between light and dark seemed uneven, listing toward the light. Something had happened…

* * *

Ezra woke up feeling warm. That was unusual...nights on Lothal were cool, even in the warm season. He opened his eyes, expecting to see the communications tower around him, but realized that wasn't where he was at all.

A bunk on the _Ghost_.

Memories came back in quick flashes.

The Jedi box-thing glowing blue.

Kanan and the others finding out about his abilities.

His fear.

His heart tried to beat double time, but he took a breath and calmed himself. After the bad moments last night, the moments where he'd been sure that they were about to call the Empire and turn him in, something amazing had happened…

 _Kanan and Hera had asked him if he wanted to live on the Ghost. He had narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out why they would offer a place to him. No one did anything like that without expecting something in return, or did they?_

 _He went with his first thought. They cared about him, but this was most likely a job offer. He didn't want to assume anything wrongly, so he nodded eagerly. "I promise I'll work really hard; you won't be disappointed with me, and I don't take up much space. I can just sleep somewhere on the floor out here... I won't eat a lot and I'm not lazy...I'll do whatever you need me to."_

" _Oh no, love." Hera had looked over to Kanan; her large green eyes shone with emotion that Ezra hadn't understood._

 _Kanan's face looked equally as pained. He thought a moment, then went on to explain. "Ezra, if you join the crew, you'll have your own bunk. We don't expect you to be a servant. You're a part of the crew. One of us." Kanan searched his eyes. "Do you understand? I mean, you have to do your fair share…We all follow Hera's lead because this is her ship, but we're not. . . ."_

 _Ezra knew his face had shown his incomprehension, because Kanan had trailed off, then put a hand on his shoulder. "Kid, I think I can speak for everyone on board when I say, we want you to become part of more than just the crew. We want you as a part of our family."_

" _Family?" Ezra murmured._

" _Yeah. Family." Kanan replied._

" _You're a good kid." Hera said, reaching out to ruffle his hair._

" _And you hate the Empire just as much as we do." Sabine offered._

" _You're somethin' pretty special if you can get along with me, kit." Zeb offered with a hearty clap on the shoulder. "So I say we keep you."_

 _Chopper, who had rolled in the room during the conversation, gave a whistle of agreement._

 _Then, Ezra had looked to Kanan, who had just simply nodded._

" _O..okay." Ezra said, a little dazed and still disbelieving._

And just like that, he now had a family. It was both amazing and terrifying at the same time. He genuinely liked each of the _Ghost's_ crew and didn't want to do anything that might make them change their mind. He thought of each of them in turn. In addition to being beautiful, Sabine was strong, outspoken and intelligent, just like Hera. Zeb was fun to hang around with. Ezra could tell he would be a great friend and listener.

And Kanan. The only other person he knew of that was like him. And he was a Jedi. Well, a student, he'd said, but still…a Jedi! Kanan had lost family just like Ezra, himself, had and he fought the Empire. Kanan knew what it was like to be afraid and alone. Kanan had pulled him close and told him that he had nothing to fear. He hadn't heard that from anyone in a long time and it seemed to do something to him…it twisted up his heart in a good way. These loyal, smart, and brave people trusted him to become part of their family. It still puzzled him.

After he'd agreed to join them, they'd sat up late, going over their plans to leave Lothal, but Ezra, exhausted, promptly fell asleep, his head on his arm. There'd been something about a rendezvous with a prospective "client" on a planet called Ylix, but after that he'd drifted off, feeling safe for one of the first times since he had been on his own. It had been a good feeling.

There was a hazy memory of Kanan picking him up, tucking him into a bunk and telling him to just call out if he needed anything. He'd promised they would come if needed. But Ezra slept deeply, more deeply than he had in a long time.

As he sat up in bed and looked around him in the early morning, he recognized that he was in Kanan's quarters. Hera must have finished with his clothes, because they lay at the very end of the bed, laundered and folded. He hadn't seen his jacket that clean in a long time. When he pulled it up to his nose, he could smell a faint scent that reminded him of fresh laundry from home, when he was little. He hugged it to his chest for a moment, closing his eyes tightly as memories of his home, parents and better days swept over him.

Once dressed, Ezra made his way out into the quiet of the ship. The lights were darkened and the silence seemed to say that he was the first to wake up. He tiptoed up toward the cockpit of the _Ghost_ , passing by an open doorway. He peeked in, to see if anyone was awake and saw Hera and Kanan in the bunk.

They were in sleep clothes, the two of them curled up under the blankets on the Twi'lek's bunk. Kanan had an arm draped over Hera's shoulder, pulling her close to him. His face was calm and his breaths were deep and even. In sleep, one of Hera's lekku was loosely curled around Kanan's wrist and he held her hand in his own.

 _Oh!_ _They're a couple,_ he realized with a blush _._ It hadn't occurred to him before, but it made sense. Seeing them together made his heart twist again, this time with a bittersweet pain. His own parents had cherished each other deeply much the same way; Ezra thought he would give up everything he had just to see them for one more day. Nothing would make up for missing his parents, but seeing Hera and Kanan so obviously in love eased the throb of grief in his heart for reasons he didn't fully understand.

He tiptoed past the room, making his way to the cockpit to find Chopper in standby mode. He tapped the droid lightly on his metal dome and then said "Shhh…." when Chopper began disturbing the quiet of the morning with loud beeping.

"Hey...can you give Kanan and Hera a message from me?"

Chopper replied that he could indeed give a message to **Captain** Hera. Ezra could tell by the droid's attitude that the moody astromech cared much more for Hera than Kanan. There was most certainly a backstory there, but Ezra was pressed for time.

"Tell them I'll be back soon. I need to go back to my . . .place. . .to get some stuff." He had been going to say home, but it didn't feel right to call the communications tower home anymore. That was weird, but in a good way.

Chopper whistled an affirmative. Without making anymore noise, Ezra made his way off the ship and had slipped through the mostly empty port into the early morning that was full of new possibilites.

* * *

"Kid must have been beat." Zeb said, as he forked another mouthful of space waffles into his mouth.

"You know teenagers. They love to sleep." Hera replied, leaning back against the counter and taking another sip of the strong, dark caf that she and Kanan favored. It was morning, and they were enjoying the time to relax without a mission yet hanging over their heads. Their meeting on Ylix was tentative, depending on what Hera would hear back from her potential client. She tried to schedule downtime as much as she could, which had given the crew time to bond into a tight knit family. After last night, they all were pretty eager to talk to Ezra again and get to know the newest member of their crew better.

The Mandolorian came out of her room, yawned and made her way into the kitchen for some caf. "Even Sabine's awake though..." Zeb pointed out in response to Hera's comment.

"Not yet, I'm not." Sabine yawned, poured a cup and brought it to the table. She set the cup down, sat down herself and then pillowed her head on her arm after taking a sip.

Kanan walked over to his room and palmed the door, intending to check on the kid. "Ezra...Might wanna wake up before Zeb finishes all the waffles..." He stopped speaking when he noticed the bunk was made, and the kid was no where to be found.

He could hear Zeb in the background. "Hera, I'm glad you decided to have the kid on the crew. He's a good worker and there's just something about him that I lik-"

"Kid's gone." Kanan returned to the common area, brow furrowed.

"Gone?" Hera asked, looking up quickly.

"He said he was gonna stay," Zeb said, disappointment clear in his voice.

Hera called toward the cockpit. "Chop. Locate Ezra."

The droid rolled in and began beeping in reply. "Chopper says Ezra left the ship about 0500 hours. Kid said he was going to pick up his things at his place and that he'd be back."

Kanan checked his comm. "That was three hours ago."

Sabine, Zeb and Hera turned to look at him. "Maybe it just took the kid a while to pack." Zeb offered, not sounding convinced himself.

"Yeah. Maybe." Kanan muttered, more to himself than to them. Everything felt a little wrong, unsure. He felt himself reaching out for the Force, and its uneven flow did nothing to make him feel better.

"If he's not back by 0900 hours, we'll go looking." Hera assured him.

"Yeah. I'm sure it's fine." He nodded, and took another sip of caf, trying to seem calm. In reality he wanted to go out and search the city for Ezra. Had the kid changed his mind? Did he run away to hide from them, afraid that they weren't to be trusted? Hera read the worry in his face and as she moved past him, she squeezed his hand before going into the cockpit with Chopper.

She laid a hand on his metal dome. "Chop. Do me a favor and monitor the trooper frequencies. Just in case there's something we need to know about, okay?"

Chopper signaled an affirmative, and Hera made her way back to the common room. She wished she had given Ezra a comm last night, but it hadn't crossed her mind. When the kid came back to the ship she was making sure he got one so that they could keep track of him.

* * *

When Ezra came to, he realized he couldn't move. His head throbbed and he felt sluggish, as if he'd been stunned. He opened his eyes to a bright light, and laid there, blinking and letting his eyes adjust.

He remembered feeling elated as he headed through the still-dark town toward the communications tower. Hera and Kanan had seemed so happy when he said he would join the crew-no, not crew...but family. They had said he was family now. He felt the waves of excitement washing over him...mostly because he had a place. A place to really call home. Not to mention he'd never been off planet before, and the idea of space flight thrilled him.

And he had a million questions for Kanan. How did people become able to use the Force? He'd always heard people were born with the power, but he didn't know anything for sure. What had it been like to be a Jedi? Had Kanan lived on Coruscant? Did he have a lightsaber? He wondered how many fights Kanan had been in. The former Jedi seemed like he could take care of himself.

Ezra remembered asking his father about what was now known as the Jedi Purge. He'd seen something on the holonet about it on his birthday, and he hadn't understood who the Jedi were or why people hated them so much they all had to die. Ezra had been lying on his bed, the stars from his revolving bedside lamp casting golden shadows all around his room, and he remembered how worried his father had looked when he'd asked all of his questions. His father had reached down and taken Ezra into his arms as he sat on the bed.

"Ezra," he had said reluctantly, as if he wasn't sure what to say. "You've asked some good questions." His father had always talked to Ezra in a way that showed his thoughts and questions were important. After thinking for long moments, his father went on. "Do you remember my friend Jacobson, that owns the farm where we went to see the baby nerfs last spring?"

Ezra remembered smiling and nodding. The little nerfs had nuzzled him, licking his hand with their warm pink tongues while their breath tickled his skin. He'd petted them, thinking they were the cutest things in the whole world with their large dark eyes. Even better than tooka cats.

"And, you remember about the Loth-wolves, right? Well, Jacobson has to watch every spring because the Loth-wolves will come down from the hills and eat the new baby nerfs if he doesn't. See, Loth-wolves are predators. They take what they want, regardless of right or wrong. I know you remember Jacobson's dog." Ezra nodded. "Jacobson and his dog stay with the babies each year until the young nerfs get old enough to protect themselves. Do you understand so far?"

Ezra had nodded again, eyes wide at the idea of the wolves gobbling up the little nerfs.

"The Jedi were also protectors, Ezra. They protected the people by fighting off predators, just like Jacobson and his dog. Still with me?"

Ezra had nodded once more, seeing it clearly in his mind.

"If the Loth-wolves could get rid of Jacobson and his dog, do you think they would?"

Ezra nodded. "So they could kill and eat the little nerfs without no one stopping them?" Even today, years later, he remembered the cold shiver that had gone through him at the thought of the ravenous Loth-wolves.

His dad had nodded gravely. Ezra's eyes stood shiny with the threat of tears. "It's sort of like what happened to the Jedi. Through no fault of their own, evil swallowed them up, Ezra." As the boy remembered, he could see his father's sad, thoughtful expression in his mind. "But you have to remember this...all of the good they stood for still remains. Now we, the people, have to be our own protectors. It's a hard job, but some of us have to do it. We have to."

Ezra remembered thinking deeply, looking down at his father's arms around him. Suddenly something seemed very clear in his mind. "I think I want to be a protector. Like the Jedi were."

His father had pressed a kiss against the top of Ezra's thick, dark hair. "If that's what you want to be, then you will be, son."

Ezra wasn't sure why that particular memory had come back to him, except for the obvious. Kanan had been a Jedi-a protector of others like his father had described all those years ago. Back then, when Ezra said that he wanted to do that, it had been without thinking...just like some kids said they wanted to be a pilot for the Empire or a spacer on a freighter. He'd been a pretty naive kid and things had seemed so much simpler. Since then, experience had taught him that the world was a cruel, unfair place and no one protected anyone else. Everyone was too busy surviving to care.

Meeting the _Ghost_ crew had shaken his belief and now, he didn't know what to think.

When he reached the tower, he climbed to the top of it. He tripped the door and then and began packing. What few spare clothes he had were folded into his backpack. He checked to make sure the metal parts still occupied the bag, then he added his other items.. He was just tucking his stuffed Tooka that he kept from childhood into his backpack when he heard the woosh of the door. He'd turned and seen a few troopers and a figure dressed in black… then there had been pain and darkness...

"I see you're awake." Ezra blinked, pulled back to the present, as his eyes began to discern the outline of a face. His blood froze when he saw it was the Pau'an.

"And I see you're ugly." Ezra shot back, feeling his stomach clench with fear. The gray-skinned Pau'an actually smiled at him, showing a mouthful of sharp teeth and made a motion over his shoulder.

The hovering interrogation droid moved closer as the Pau'an beckoned it. "I am known as the Grand Inquisitor. Let us not play games, boy. I know you are the Force-sensitive I've been looking for. How you survived this long without discovery is fascinating. It suggests that you may have certain skills or abilities that would be...useful to the Empire."

"Yeah, being useful is just not my thing. You can tell the Empire to shove it."

"Oh, good. You want to do this the hard way." There was a smile on that dead-looking face that chilled Ezra to the bone. At a motion of the Inquisitor's fingers, the interrogation droid used a spray hypo on him. A burning sear of pain made its way from the injection point, up his arm and to the rest of his body. Ezra moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and struggling against the bindings.

"You will be trained to serve our Emperor. I can sense you are strong in the Force. You will be even stronger once turned to the dark side. Who taught you to use Force-stealth?"

The white-hot burn of pain was bad enough, but the Pau'an raised his hand and hovered over Ezra's face. This time, the pain that shot through him was an agony that seemed to build and build to a crescendo that made him feel as if his skin were being peeled from his flesh. Ezra could feel the breath of the Pau'an on his face and see the yellow eyes full of lust. The thing was enjoying his pain—feeding off of it. It made him feel nauseated.

"I...don't...know what...you're talking about." He growled through clenched teeth as he felt the Empire's agent pushing his way into his mind. The utter wrongness of feeling the creature in his thoughts made him sick. _Through no fault of their own, the Jedi were swallowed up by evil..._ his father's words echoed in his mind.

"Oh, I think you know much more than you're telling, Ezra Bridger," the Pau'an purred, his eyes drinking in all of the boy's struggles and suffering. "I can feel it in your mind. Perhaps I, myself, will see to your training...personally."

"I just...don...don't th..think we're gonna get along." Ezra lifted his chin, met the Pau'an's dead yellow-black eyes. He could feel his whole body shuddering under the pain. "We...we're t-t-too diff...different."

"Oh, well then. Maybe you'd like my student to train you. The Seventh Sister would enjoy that. She loves working with the young Force-sensitives that we've collected for the Emperor. You could say she has a certain gift..."

Ezra let out a groan as the Pau'an's continued to leer. "Is she as kriffin' ugly as you?" His head rolled back against the interrogation board holding him upright as more waves of pain cycled through his nerves. The interrogation droid had hit him with another injection at a wave of the Pau'an's hand.

The Inquisitor smiled, showing his pointed teeth. "You are remarkably defiant." He continued to push, while Ezra fought to keep him out of his mind. "You are hiding something...something important. Who is the Jedi, boy?" the Grand Inquisitor narrowed his eyes and Ezra whimpered with the pain of the mental onslaught.

Ezra squeezed his eyes shut and pushed back intuitively, shoving the Inquisitor out of his thoughts, not even really knowing how he was doing it. He did know, however, that he wouldn't be able to keep it up for long.

The Grand Inquisitor's mouth turned down in a sneer as the boy actually fought him off. He backhanded Ezra across the face, using the Force to cause his blow to land more heavily. Ezra could feel his cheek and eye swelling, and warm blood dripped down his face. The Inquisitor was breathing heavily from their mental battle.

"You will find cooperation much more agreeable," he snarled, before landing a few Force-assisted punches on Ezra's side. At the agony of it, Ezra realized they must have broken some ribs. "I will let your pain argue with you, boy." Abruptly, the Grand Inquisitor turned and left. As soon as he was gone, Ezra let out the groans that he had been trying to hold in as tears streaked through the blood on his face. He was going to die, he thought, as the scene before his eyes began to gray out from the pain. In mere moments, he sagged in the restraints as he lost his hold on consciousness and became blissfully unaware for a long time.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hi everyone! Hope you're all still enjoying this. I got some comments about the Ezra and Grand Inquisitor scene in the last chapter. I didn't think it was over-the-top violent, but I definitely respect those who prefer to skip things like that. I only have one scene with the Seventh Sister in this chapter and I marked the beginning and ending with two stars, so if you want to skip it, you can. There is no hitting in that scene, however...just a dark side use of the Force to steal a person's thoughts, a Force choke (a'la Darth Vader) and the Seventh Sister being creepy like she is. (She is one creepy chica!) I hope to have the next part of this scene up by the end of the week. Thanks so much for all your comments. Time is an issue for me lately, so it has been either choose b/w writing or replying to comments, so I have chosen writing, but PLEASE don't think that your comments aren't important to me! I treasure every one, and they really get me through my workday!**

* * *

26

Kanan and Zeb approached the communications tower from the back side, using the long grasses for cover. Upon talking to Chopper in more detail that morning, they had discovered that Ezra had mentioned going back to get his things at a tower. There were two communications towers in the city; only one was in operation, so they had chosen the other abandoned one as Ezra's probable destination.

"Do you see anything?"

"No." Kanan replied, handing the binoculars over to Zeb. As the Lasat scanned the area around the base of the tower, Kanan closed his eyes and tried to sense Ezra again, but it was no use.. The Force was still uneven and choppy and he couldn't get a good grasp on it.

"I don't see anybody either. Let's go up there and check it out. Sabine hasn't seen anything in town so the kid's gotta be there." Zeb looked to Kanan, then began to pack away the binoculars and get up.

 _Wait_.

There was nothing but that one word which floated to the surface of Kanan's mind. Suddenly the Force became very clear and strong around them.

"Zeb. Not yet."

They knelt back down in the grass and waited. There was some movement at the base of the tower and they both watched as a trooper appeared from around the corner.

"I can't get used to how you do that." Zeb murmured with a toothy grin.

Kanan flashed a tight smile; he was too worried about Ezra to enjoy the unlooked-for praise. "I say we ask this guy a few questions."

"Sounds like a plan. Let me go introduce myself first..."

"I'll be right behind you."

They made their way in tandem toward the tower, crouching in the grass and running when the trooper's movements took him around the back side of the structure. Zeb hit him first, stunning him with his bo-rifle while the trooper was turned the other way. He went down in a heap, and Kanan stole the man's blaster, slinging it far off in the grass where it wouldn't be found.

"Keep a look out." Kanan said as he climbed the tower.

Kanan looked around him as he entered the open door of the tower and examined the place Ezra lived. Off to one side, there was a hunk of polished durasteel that he figured the kid used as a mirror, as well as some containers of what appeared to be water. They were kicked over and lying on their side. He noticed the simple mat on the floor, with a threadbare blue blanket, where the kid slept. It was rumpled and disheveled, which along with the kicked over water containers made him think there had been some sort of struggle. Near it was a small shelf where there was a collection of trooper helmets, most likely stolen. That made Kanan grin, in spite of his worry for the kid. He'd already figured the kid was a pickpocket (he knew from experience it was hard to live as a kid on the street without having those kinds of skills) but one had to be pretty daring to swipe trooper helmets.

Along the back wall, there were communication panels which had been hit with blaster fire. On one of them a red light glowed. Ezra had obviously gotten the old tech working and was using it in some way, most likely to spy on the Empire. Before leaving with their prize, the troopers probably destroyed the equipment so it couldn't be used again that way.

Zeb glanced up in surprise when Kanan jumped over the side and landed gracefully beside him. The tall Lasat just shook his head with a rueful smile.

"They took Ezra. There are signs of a struggle, but no blood. He's gotta be in their headquarters." Kanan tapped his comm. "Specter one to Specter two."

"I read you, Specter two." Hera's voice came back, steady and cautious.

"Our package is not available for pickup. Guess we're going to have to search the other warehouse. Meet you back in 10."

"Copy that, Specter One. Over and out."

* * *

"That's it, child. Open your eyes." There was a soft crooning voice, breaking through the dark in his head. He felt a cold gloved hand caress first his forehead, then his cheek. The voice was female, but it was changed, modulated and electronic-sounding. His eyes fluttered, then opened to see her face. Or her lack of a face. There was a steely blankness where her features should be, and it caused him to recoil before he could stop himself.

"Oh, what lovely eyes." Her sinuous purr made Ezra's hair stand on end. He could feel evil spilling from her, but did not want her to think he was daunted in the least.

"Can't see yours, so they must be pretty ugly." Ezra turned his head to the side, trying to put distance between them.

"Tell me about the Jedi..." She began slowly. Her hand moved up to run through the thick black hair, then she clenched her fingers in it, causing pain. "Who has trained you, boy?"

"Nobody. I don't know what you guys keep talking about. I..." Ezra stopped speaking and began to struggle for breath as she closed her fingers into a fist and the Force closed around his throat. The Sister let his hair go, then retracted her mask with her free hand.

She was a Mirialan, her red tattoos marking her yellow face as such. Just like the Grand Inquisitor, her eyes were yellow with black sclerae. She let her Force-grip go, watching with pleasure as he fought to catch his breath. Ezra was gulping great mouthfuls of air as she suddenly raised a hand over his face and forced her way into his mind. There was no way to fight off the intrusion this time; he was weakened and the fragile walls of shielding erected against the Grand Inquisitor gave way to her in his exhausted state.

"Now, your Jedi." There was a pause, then a smile. "Jarrus?" She purred. "I do not know a Jedi by that name...but no matter. The temple records are quite complete and we shall soon know about this Jedi." Again she reached out to run her fingers through his hair, but he jerked away from her touch. "Where is he? Tell me, little Loth-rat. Maybe then I'll let you be one of my little pets." She pushed hard to try and get the information from him, and snarled when she wasn't able to.

Ezra felt the push of her mind once again, and he began to push back as hard as he could. He couldn't let her find Kanan and the others. As they struggled, the equivalent of a mental scream burst from him. It caused the female inquisitor to growl and recoil. Whatever he had done, it hurt her badly. She seemed disoriented and spoke through her clenched teeth. "You are strong, just as the Grand Inquisitor said, but we will **break** you and you **will** serve the Emperor."

"I'd die first." He could feel the sludge of her slimy thoughts on him, almost as a tangible thing and it made him shudder.

"That **is** a distinct possibility. Again, I ask you, where can we find your teacher? There is no use protecting him. Kanan Jarrus will die screaming, child." As Ezra readied himself, she leaned back in and renewed her attack.

* * *

"Here's what I found..." Sabine began to type into her data pad. As she hacked into the network, she pulled up a schematic and projected it before them. There were two parts to the complex. The HQ part, which held offices and quarters and a second part of the complex which was for holding cells and medical.

"This is the HQ. There are the main offices over in this part. Here are the holding cells..."

"He's gotta be there." Suddenly, there was an image in Kanan's head of a long gray hallway. A vision of a tall, grinning, grey-skinned Pau'an flashed for a brief moment, and another faceless figure behind him, then darkness. Kanan closed his eyes, ran his hand over the area that Sabine had pointed out as the holding cells and pinpointed one by the way it felt in the Force. "This one."

Sabine shook her head, much as Zeb had earlier. "Is there anything you can't do with the Force?"

"Lots." Kanan replied. "Go in here?" He marked an exit on the far side of the building.

"Well, it's clear we can't go in here." She pointed to the front entrance. "Back entrance is mostly guarded too. It opens up on the courtyard and landing pad."

"Hera, think that's a good place for a pickup and speedy exit?"

The Twi'lek nodded in response to Kanan's question. "I can hide in the cloud cover; you can comm me when you're ready," she said. "I'll land in the courtyard. Shields should be able to hold off any fire from the ground, but we're likely to face a bit of trouble getting out without some pursuit, but...yeah. We can make it."

Kanan nodded, "Let's go."

Zeb and Sabine left first and Kanan went to follow them out, but he paused at the door, leaning against the door's frame and suddenly using a hand to steady himself.

"Kanan?" Hera came to his side and placed a hand on his arm.

He looked at her blankly for a moment, then blinked and he was back with her. "Uh...yeah. I'm ok. It's Ezra...he's alive and...and fighting. I felt him cry out in the Force." Actually it had been more like a mental scream of effort, cutting through his thoughts like a silver blade.

Slowly, like a clear pool of water, the ripples and eddies of the Force lapped against him more strongly. He caught at a wisp of thought, feeling despair and sorrow from Ezra. _We're coming,_ he thought, not knowing if Ezra could feel his reassurance or not. When not using Force-stealth, the kid broadcasted his thoughts like a comm tower, but Kanan had no idea if he knew how to open himself enough to receive anything.

"We'll get him back."

He nodded, turning to her and leaning in to place his forehead against hers. "Hera..." He wondered if she was aware of half of what she meant to him. Together they were like binary stars, caught in orbit around each other, locked in bonds of mutual gravitation around a single point. This team...this family. It had become their center point and it wouldn't be right without Ezra. They all felt it.

She smiled and reached one hand up to trail down his cheek to the soft scruff of his beard. He captured her hand in both of his own and brought it to his lips. "Careful out there, love," she breathed.

He nodded, then reluctantly let her hand go and turned to follow Zeb and Sabine to the ramp.

* * *

Getting into the complex without making a lot of noise would have been challenging if not for Kanan. He used the Force to knock together the two guards so hard that they passed out. He and Zeb dragged them into the building and placed them in a storage closet.

"Which way?" Zeb asked.

Kanan nodded in the correct direction. "That way. Sabine, could you create a little distraction down here for our grand exit? I'll comm you when we have Ezra and you can blow it sky high when we link up at the rendezvous."

The happiness in Sabine's voice was evident. "With pleasure."

Kanan reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Careful, okay? Stay focused."

She removed her helm and gave him a smile. "You bet," she nodded. The Mandalorian was in her element now and enjoying every moment. "Go get Ezra." She replaced her helm and noiselessly made her way down the hallway in the opposite direction, carrying her backpack full of explosives.

Kanan drew his blaster and he and Zeb continued down the other hallway. Kanan stopped several times, extending his hand and feeling with the Force. "This way." He motioned, slipping to the left and entering a long hallway with a few cells and a door at the end. There were blaster shots; two from a trooper at the end of a hall, and Kanan's return fire.

The trooper let off a shot into the ceiling as he fell lifeless. "There." Kanan said, pointing to the room the sentinel had been guarding. They ran to the end of the hallway and Kanan attempted to palm the door. There was no response and the door remained closed.

"Here, I think I have a code that will work," Zeb said, using the end of his bo-rifle to send a charge of blue fire into the keypad.

The door slid open.

Ezra lay limply in the restraints, head fallen forward and eyes closed. If not for the straps holding him down, Kanan guessed he would be in a heap on the floor. He walked into the room and reaching the kid, spoke softly.

"Ezra. We're here." He murmured, reaching out to cup the kid's cheek in one hand and lift it up.

The boy's eye was swollen almost shut and blood smeared his face from a cut lip. His face was pale under the dark blood and bruises. There was a soft moan as Kanan began undoing the straps from his chest, and it was then that he realized Ezra's arm was dangling at a strange angle. He carefully worked the rest of the straps, being careful not to jostle the boy too much.

"H-hurts," he hissed softly, his eyes fluttering.

"It's okay. We're here to take you home." Kanan murmured, catching the kid as he fell forward into Kanan's arms at the release of the last strap. He lowered the Ezra to the floor, still careful of the arm while checking him over. There were more bruises on his neck and he was in pain and shivering.

"'Cold..." Ezra muttered, his head rolling forward. His hair and clothes were damp with sweat. "It's cold..."

"Ezra. Focus on me. Right here."

Ezra saw, really saw Kanan for the first time. Thinking at first that Kanan had been captured, he became more distraught, leaning into Kanan and pressing his damp face against Kanan's sweater. "I'm sorry. I didn't tell them anything...they...they were in my head..."

"It's okay. It doesn't matter, Ezra. We're taking you home." Kanan promised, wrapping his arms around the kid until his shaking slowed. Finally, Ezra gave a few trembling sighs and lifted his face; Kanan searched his troubled blue eyes. "Can you walk?"

Ezra gave an uncertain nod, as Zeb looked over from the door. "We're gonna have some company." He heard some noises, yelling and movement within the complex, but didn't see anyone yet.

"C'mon. We gotta go." Kanan supported the kid as they moved into the hallway and towards the door at the end. When the kid swayed, Kanan simply scooped him up. Like he'd suspected, Ezra weighed much less than a kid of his size should have, so it was an easy matter to carry him.

Making their way through the corridors, Kanan followed close behind Zeb. Holding the kid was like holding a block of ice. The contamination of the dark side was a pall over Ezra's aura that Kanan could tangibly feel. He continued channeling the warmth of the Force to the kid as they made the last few turns to the corridor to the outside door.

Blaster shots blocked their way. Kanan leaned Ezra against the wall and drew his blaster. Alternately he and Zeb fired back at the four troopers in their way. Kanan took down one, with his first shot, then Zeb got the closest one, who had grazed him with a blaster bolt.

"Apparently they paid attention during blaster training." Zeb said, grimacing and ducking back to clap his hand against his injured shoulder.

"We don't have time for this," said Kanan from the other side of the doorway. Something was coming, he could feel it like electricity in the air. It was time to get out of here. He leaned out and with a motion of his hands, he threw the remaining troopers against the doorway, slamming them so heavily they fell to the floor. One of them rose half way up and groggily pointed his blaster at Zeb, but the Lasat got him first.

Kanan called Sabine. "Spectre-5. Time for that distraction."

"Copy that, Spectre 1. I'm on my way."

"Spectre 2. We need that pickup." Kanan commed Hera, then helped Ezra back up. Hera's reply was drowned out by the loud pounding of explosions somewhere in the building, but Kanan knew she was coming.

"That's our girl." Zeb said with pride as they hit the door to the courtyard, still feeling the rumble of Sabine's explosions.

Immediately, Kanan felt the ominous press of the dark side pouring in on all of them. He set Ezra down. "Wait." They paused in the doorway. Kanan stood, head lowered as he closed his eyes and reached out again with the Force. The dark beat close and powerful as it pushed up against him. There was no way they would make it far unless...

"They're coming." Ezra said, his face going pale with fear. "We gotta go—we gotta..."

Kanan opened his eyes, lifted his head and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "It's okay." With his other hand, for the first time, in a long time, Kanan holstered his blaster. It wouldn't be needed. "Zeb, protect Ezra. When Hera gets here, you go."

"Wait a minute! **We** are going. All of us."

The afternoon had been warm, but now a chill invaded with the coming sunset. Kanan had no need to scan the courtyard in front of them. His target was approaching not from there, but from behind them. The strength of the dark side shook him up, but he pushed it away. It was only a distraction, and if he lost it now, they could lose everything.

"When Hera gets here, take Ezra and go." He removed the two parts of his lightsaber hilt from his belt and clicked them together. Zeb stared at him uncomprenhendingly, so he grabbed the Lasat's shoulder. "I'll hold them off. Do you understand? I'm trusting you to get them to safety. Don't let Hera stay to try and save me."

Zeb was at a loss. "I'll try..."

In the meantime, the world had taken on a haze of unreality for Ezra. He found himself listening to Zeb and Kanan, but understanding through the dulling terror hadn't come right away. When he comprehended what Kanan was suggesting, he became distraught. "No...You can't stay. . ." He latched onto Kanan with his good hand. "You can't."

"I'll be fine." His words were a lie, both he and Zeb realized, but neither had the guts to say it in front of the kid. Kanan placed both hands on Ezra's shoulders. "But you gotta go, ok? This battle is too much for you, and you're hurt."

Ezra's blue eyes shone with worry. "No..." He shook his head as tears slipped down his cheek.

Quickly Kanan wrapped an arm around the kid in a tight squeeze that was careful of the boy's injuries. Then he looked to Zeb. "Get him out of here."

Zeb studied the look in Kanan's eyes. He knew the set expression; he'd had it himself at that last battle on Lasan when he planned to die for his friends, the royal family and everything he believed in. Kanan was a man at peace with the sacrifice he might be called upon to make, and damn it, Zeb had to admit he respected him for that. He sighed heavily. "Karabast..." He cursed softly, then spoke into his comm. "Spectre-5, meet at the rendezvous." Zeb began to back up, pulling Ezra with him as the kid protested. Kanan turned to face the shadows that were approaching from the darkness.

"No...They'll kill him," Ezra whispered, remembering the hungry look in his captor's eyes when they'd spoken of finding a Jedi.

"It ain't over yet, kit." Zeb said, pulling him toward where Sabine waited, shooting at troopers who had marked her position from across the complex's courtyard.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hi, everyone! Just wanted to post this for evening reading, since we had no Rebels episode tonight. (*sniffle!*) Hope you're still enjoying this. I am thrilled with all the positive feedback and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. Writing fight scenes is a new thing for me, so I hope it came out alright. There are still probably at least 3 more chapters left as we wrap up. :) Please leave a review if you liked something I did here...it's wonderful to hear from all of you!**

* * *

Chapter 27

Kanan was fairly sure that he wouldn't make it out of this fight alive. When he had reached out with his senses, he realized that both the figures coming toward him were Force-sensitives and the source of the overwhelming dark side that assaulted his consciousness. He took a deep breath and tried to center himself in the light before looking up at them again.

They were both tall and slender; one had glowing yellow eyes. The other, smaller one seemed to have no face at all—only a featureless blankness where its helm obscured everything. They slowly advanced, the Pau'an with the yellow eyes drawing a strange looking saber with a red blade and smiling to reveal sharp teeth.

Kanan backed into the courtyard, igniting his own blue blade and waiting. He refused to take his gaze from the Pau'an, even though he wanted to look behind him to check the position of his friends. It was imperative that he hold off these two so that Zeb, Sabine and Ezra escape safely in the Ghost with Hera, when she arrived.

The Inquisitor began to speak in an oddly cultured voice. "So. I do get to meet the whelp's Jedi after all. Hmm...you look young. Far too young to be a Jedi Master." The Pau'an made slow deliberate steps forward as he spoke, swinging his saber in lazy circles.

 _Showing off,_ Kanan realized. "I'm old enough to kick your ugly ass." Kanan retorted, shuffling his feet as he slipped into the opening stance of Soresu. He saluted with his blade, the way he'd been taught to at the temple ( _old habits die hard_ , he thought), and was slightly surprised when he got an answering motion as the Pau'an slipped into the beginning stance of form two. Where had this trained Force-user come from?

"We will see." The red blade's companion pulled their own saber, but the Pau'an put out a hand to halt the attack. "No. Leave him to me. Watch and learn, Seventh Sister."

There was a curt nod as the figure stepped back, watching. The soldiers who had not gone to assist their comrades were nearby, transfixed by the coming battle. Kanan could feel their eyes upon him while he waited in the first form of Soresu, making ready by holding his weapon above his head and parallel to the ground in a defensive stance.

In contrast, the Inquisitor held out his sword chest high, pointing the blade at Kanan. Several precise strikes were tried, and Kanan deflected them quickly without yet attacking. The Pau'an rolled his eyes. "Soresu. How disappointing. Form three is such a safe, boring and predictable form." The Inquisitor now attacked more powerfully, trying to draw Kanan out to make a mistake.

Kanan defended, sliding his feet backwards to put more space between them. "Overconfidence leads to defeat. Or don't they teach that where you're from?"

The Pau'an casually tried a few additional attacks to test Kanan's abilities, but was deflected each time. "There were only a handful of Jedi Masters who relied on Form Three as heavily you seem to." The thing's tone was contemplative as he tried to draw Kanan out into an attack.

Parry, step back, deflect, feint. Behind him, Kanan recognized the roar of the Ghost's engines—the blast of fire as Hera's beautiful bird alighted in the courtyard. It was a distraction he couldn't afford to view, even though he ached to see the ship one last time. No. He shoved the thoughts away and began a moving meditation, linking with the Force as he'd done when navigating the asteroid field. Immersed in the deep waters as they closed around him, he used his increased focus to parry several more forceful attacks.

The fight went on.

* * *

Hera turned and looked over her shoulder as Sabine and Zeb ran in, the tall Lasat carrying Ezra. The kid looked bad but conscious, as Zeb gently settled him into the co-pilot's seat.

Hera checked behind them but saw no one. "Where's Kanan?" she asked, eyes widening.

Zeb's pained expression greeted her question. "There's two...they look like Jedi, but evil. Red blades. He told me he'd hold them off to save the kid and..karabast!" His mouth twisted as he went on, "He told me to make you leave him here." He spit each word out as if they tasted bad in his mouth. He looked away bitterly, trying to get his rolling frustration under control.

"That kriffin' nerfherder!" Hera muttered, kicking the nearest panel in anger. Her Lekku twitched with anger and anxiety. She brought one slim hand to her forehead and kneaded it, as if trying to make a tough decision.

"Don't leave him!" Ezra cried. "You can't leave him here..."

"Zeb..." Sabine pleaded, her eyes going to the red and blue she could see in the courtyard. "We gotta go back."

Chopper sounded a low and worried note.

"Sounds like a unanimous vote to me," Hera said, lifting her head. She turned to the front viewport to see the flashes of blue and red herself, moving so fast they were blurs. "I'm going back for him." Her blaster was already strapped on and she drew and turned as if about to run to the cargo bay and, from there, into the fight.

Zeb put a hand on her shoulder, staying her. "No. We got it. Keep us ready to go and back us up on the nose gun if you can. We'll bring him home. C'mon, Sabine..."

"Don't worry, Ezra. We won't come back without him." Sabine could see the terror in Ezra's eyes and she placed a hand on his shoulder on her way out.

"He's got another thing coming if he thinks we're leaving him." Hera muttered as she looked to the Ezra. He was covered in blood and bruises, and her face softened with worry. One of his arms seemed to be hurt as well and his breathing was harsh and ragged. "Can you hang in there, love? We gotta get out of here first, then we'll get you patched up." As she spoke, Hera turned back to the battle and covered Zeb and Sabine by taking aim at the troopers who were sighting in on them.

Even though his ribs were screaming and his arm was a white hot streak of pain, Ezra nodded, knowing what was at stake. "I'm okay." He focused his eyes on the blue blade whirling through the air below. The worry in his hollow-looking eyes made him look even smaller as he sat there. Hera couldn't help but reach out and gently rub his shoulder.

"They'll get him," she reassured him. "Everything's gonna be just fine."

* * *

"Let me see. Luminara Unduli? No. Depa Billaba...Ah yes... I can see her in you. Your form reeks of Billaba's style."

The words were designed to shake Kanan's hold on the Force, and they did. He faltered at the mention of his dead master, and was sliced along the bicep with the creature's blade.

Silently ignoring the searing pain that lashed through his nerves, he used his opponent's closeness to strike back, managing a glancing touch with his blade along the red-blade's side before retreating.

They both regrouped a moment, eyeing each other through the space between them. Kanan found his thoughts were scattered. How did this Pau'an know so much about the Jedi? He supposed they had access to the temple records after the Jedi had been murdered, but the Pau'an seemed to have a level of knowledge that was eerie. As if he'd been there, himself, and known the Jedi he was talking about personally.

"What a disappointment you must have been to her, boy. Your form is slow and you are easily distracted." He made a tsk tsk sound and shook his head. "Damaged goods, just like your Master."

"All talk and no action." Kanan growled dismissively. "Like most of the Emperor's dogs."

Suddenly the Pau'an's face broke into a death grin at something he saw behind Kanan. "Oh, look...your friends want to die with you. So touching." He flicked his sword to deflect incoming blaster bolts from Sabine's Westars just like one would have brushed off a fly. "Can you oblige them, Seventh Sister?" He gestured and she nodded, retracting her helm and advancing on Sabine and Zeb who were firing at her. She Force-jumped to land behind them, but Sabine whirled in time to face her.

"Hey bitch, catch." Sabine called, slinging something silver in the Mirialan's direction.

Had the girl **not** held back a moment on throwing the concussive grenade, the Sister would have had time to react and push it back toward the girl with the Force. However, Sabine had pushed the button and counted to two before she threw.

The Sister still managed to deflect some of the blast by pushing the silver sphere back just a little in Sabine's direction before it blew. As a result, they were both affected by the concussion grenade, swept off their feet and thrown back. When the Sister stood, there was a red streak of blood trailing from her head down the side of her face.

When they locked sabers again, Kanan used the Force to throw the Pau'an back through the entrance into the complex. In the pause of combat, he glanced over to Zeb. "You must not have tried very hard." He said as he got into ready position.

"I gave it my best. You know how she can be." Zeb grinned, firing a shot back at an overeager trooper.

"I'm sure she didn't have to work hard to convince you to jump back into the fray. Help Sabine. I got this one." He nodded toward the Pau'an, who had sprung back onto his feet with a leap and was emerging from the building. He was well aware that out of the three of him, he was most able to face the Inquisitor.

"Your friends cannot help you." The creature snarled, steadily advancing on Kanan. He swung quickly—aggressive, unrelenting blows that drove Kanan back several feet as he defended. The Inquisitor was obviously done toying with his prey and ready to end the fight.

Kanan blocked a high blow and was face to face with the Pau'an as they pressed for advantage. "You can never hope to best me," the Pau'an said, unexpectedly using the Force to throw Kanan back at least ten feet. The Jedi landed on his knees, his light saber still clutched in one hand. "Your friends will die screaming in agony and blame you for their demise." This time, the Pau'an activated both sides of his double sided saber, as if he was done playing with Kanan and now meant to end it.

All of a sudden, Kanan sensed time slowing. He looked up through the strands that had fallen loose from his hair tie and he could see it...the Pau'an and his apprentice would wear them all down until they were defeated. Hera and Ezra would die. In his peripheral vision, he saw that Sabine and Zeb had driven their own opponent back again, but there was no way they would win—even now they were struggling against her and her own double-bladed lightsaber. He felt despair threaten; the dark side leered at him, struggling to break his will.

 _Caleb. The dark will not win this day._

The voice was his master's, but not his master's. It was the same voice that he had heard in the cargo bay, the day he'd had the force vision of Ezra. It was the same voice that he'd heard, drawing him to Master Billaba when he first saw her in the bacta tank. It was the voice that had led him to Hera. It had been guiding him his whole life, even when he'd lost his way and refused to hear its call. It was a voice he could no longer deny.

He slowly got to his feet, drawing on every bit of force energy he could muster. The dark would not win because the Force would not let it. He embraced the light, welcoming it, as the Force's power began to overwhelm his senses.

"None of mine will die today." He opened his hands and pushed, and the Inquisitor and the Mirialan were slammed into the building in front of them with a powerful force wave. They hit the building so forcefully that part of it collapsed on top of them, covering them with rubble. The building itself, once the dust settled, looked as though it had been through a shelling.

At the same moment, in the ship, Ezra sat straight up and leaned forward to watch out of the Ghost's viewport.

"What is it?" Hera whispered.

"It's Kanan. You...you can't see it?" Ezra whispered in wonder.

"No, love. What is it?" Hera placed a hand on the boy's shoulder as she followed his gaze.

"It's...it's light. It's coming from him." Ezra's eyes were wide. "What does it mean?"

All of a sudden there was a thundering whump, as if Sabine had thrown another, larger concussion grenade. Hera stood up, pulling a blaster. "I don't know what it means, but they're gonna be heading this way, so I'll be in the loading bay. Chop, keep blasting at those troopers." A group of soldiers who were setting up a heavy blaster were the droid's next target.

In the meantime, Kanan fell back, stunned, after what he'd done. He could feel his opponents weren't dead, not by a long shot, but they were hurt and down. He waited, ready to blast them again if necessary as the power he was drawing on began to build once more. It was a painless heat, a blinding light that was starting to shut everything out, leaving only itself. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had no idea how he had been able to accomplish such a force blast, and he didn't seem to know how to loosen this deathgrip he had on the Force.

"Kanan." Sabine limped over to him, having twisted an ankle. There was a swelling under her right eye and something had cut her on the forehead when she'd hit the ground earlier. Blood trailed down to her cheek and she wiped at it with the back of one gloved hand. There was no sign Kanan heard her...he simply stayed in place, watching the enormous pile of rubble that he'd evidently caused. He looked at it as if he expected the Mirialan and her master to rise back up any second.

Zeb came to help. "Kanan! Karabast! Kanan… Let's go." Finally, Kanan turned to look at them, blinking rapidly trying to clear his vision-he could only see Zeb through a shimmer of light. The Force still rolled through him like a mighty tide, a tide that was just beginning to recede.

Zeb heard the sound of the _Ghost's_ laser canon from behind them. Extra troopers had arrived and were shooting at the waiting ship with heavier weaponry than mere blasters. Kanan was turning his head back to the rubble where the two redblades lay, staying between them and the danger. Zeb didn't know if their opponents were dead or not; he didn't much care to find out. "Kanan. Hera won't be able to keep the reinforcements off for long. Now. We gotta go."

When he mentioned Hera's name, Kanan nodded. It was...it was time to go. He could feel it. They began to run; Zeb and Sabine firing at troopers, and Kanan deflecting blaster fire with his lightsaber.

They saw Hera on the loading ramp, covering their escape with her blaster as someone above, either Chopper or Ezra was firing on the reinforcments. When she saw Kanan, her green eyes softened. As he stepped onto the Ghost, she reached for him, and their hands caught for one brief moment before his warm palm slipped through her grip. Once they were up the ramp, Hera yelled, "Chop! Let's go!" She flew up the ladder to pilot them to safety, not waiting to see the order in which they followed. It was enough to know they were on the ship and safe.

Zeb manned the top turret while Sabine took over the nose cannon. The ship hurtled into the atmosphere under Hera's deft touch. Ezra, who had moved to one of the other chairs, looked around feeling more and more worry as he didn't see Kanan reappear with everyone.

"Sabine..." He asked.

"Hang on, Ezra." She muttered, firing at an approaching Tie. "Hera, we've got five on our tail."

"Where…is Kanan?" He asked haltingly, getting up and making his way shakily toward the hatch. He was worried. Wouldn't Kanan have come in with them? What if...what if he hadn't made it for some reason? Maybe something had happened to Kanan and he hadn't seen. Ezra held his breath as he palmed the hatch.

And Kanan was standing right there. Ezra looked up, his blue eyes glassy with tears and pain and relief.

"I thought...I was worried that you..." His voice was trembling and he tried to stop it by biting the inside of his cheek. The ship banked sharply, and Ezra almost lost his footing, but Kanan reached out and steadied him.

"I'm okay." Kanan's own eyes shone with emotion as he looked down at Ezra, who was struggling not to break down into tears. "Come here." He slowly pulled the frightened kid into his own protective embrace. They remained that way for a long time, Kanan buffeting Ezra from the wild turns and steep banks of the ship, and letting the warmth of the Force suffuse and wash the fear away. They listened to the noises around them; the whine of the ship and the comm squawking while Zeb communicated with Hera and Sabine during the battle. Each time they took a Tie down, Sabine or Zeb gave a shout. All of it just registered as noise, however, once Kanan heard Ezra's sniffles against his shirt.

"It's over. We're safe." He murmured. "You're home." He was not sure whether he was so much telling Ezra as much as he was reminding himself.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: For all my faithful readers, this is the first of two chapters I'm going to post. It took me so long because it was hard to follow up that last chapter. Thanks for taking the ride with me all this time. :) As always, I live for comments, so please let me know your thoughts.**

* * *

Chapter 28

Hera, carrying the portable medkit, gave a light rap on Kanan's door and listened before she palmed it open. She'd tended Ezra's injuries first, then followed with Zeb and Sabine's. It was time to check Kanan, who, of course, had insisted he was fine and could be last.

He'd taken care of Ezra, bringing him back upstairs and getting him into bed. Hera could see that Ezra was wearing a pair of sleep pants and an athletic shirt that, fitted on Kanan, was baggy on Ezra. The black brought out the blue-black of the kid's hair, but made him look pale under his bruises. Those brilliant blue eyes, however, opened as she entered the room, and he would have sat straight up, if not for Kanan's gentle but firm hand on his chest.

"It's okay. It's Hera..." Kanan murmured as Ezra settled back down into bed. "Sleep, okay?"

"Hey Ezra..." Hera whispered, setting the medkit down and coming to kneel down beside the bed where Kanan sat on the floor. She placed a hand gently on the splint on Ezra's arm, unconsciously checking it again. She'd used the bone knitter on his injury, but had put a splint on it for a few days for protection. He was going to be sore all over if the pain medication wore off, especially his ribs, but he would be okay in the long run, at least physically. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay." Ezra mumbled, blinking at her sleepily. His cut lip was still swollen, and the bruised mark under his eye looked a deeper purple, but he didn't seem to be in pain. There was a slow blink, then another longer interval between closed and open eyes. He was fading fast, but then something occurred to him and his eyes shot open. "How far are we from Lothal?" he asked. For the first time, she realized how scratchy the kid's voice was. All the injuries he had sustained spoke of horribly rough treatment and the thought of Ezra's voice hoarse from screams made her feel nauseated. She pushed it away and managed a smile.

"A long, long way, love. You're okay." She whispered soothingly, rubbing the uninjured part of his arm as gently as possible. The kid visibly relaxed back down into the pillow, then closed his eyes again. After a few moments, his deep breathing let them both know he had fallen asleep.

"It was bad, wasn't it? Did he talk about what...what they did to him?" Hera murmured.

"Yes. It was bad. And he didn't talk about it, I just...I could feel it." Kanan turned his deep blue-green eyes on her, looking equally as upset.

Hera nodded wordlessly, her eyes going back to Ezra's battered face, relaxed in sleep.

"What about Sabine and Zeb?" Kanan asked.

"They'll be fine. Cuts and bruises, mostly. Sabine had a twisted ankle and a cut to her head. Zeb took that blaster shot, but he'll be okay." She sat beside him, pulling the medkit to her and opening it. "You didn't come back down to the medbay like I asked...so…."

"You didn't leave Lothal like I asked," he replied, softly. "It went okay, but it could have easily gone the other way."

She raised her head from the medkit, meeting his eyes. "You sure you wanna do this now?" She'd been trying to hold back from this conversation, thinking they would talk better tomorrow with clearer heads.

His face was grave. "Hera. I'm just asking you to see reason here. We could very easily all have been killed out there—Troopers are one thing, but I..."

"We're not doing this here-" she gestured to the kid. "My quarters." She took the hypo she had in her hand and tossed it back into the medkit, got up and left the room. Her anger bubbled up from where she'd pushed it away. She ignored Sabine and Zeb sitting at the Dejarik table, and stalked to her quarters. Kanan followed, face equally dark.

"What's wrong?" Sabine called. Neither of them answered.

"Better stay right here, kit." Zeb murmured, putting a restraining hand on Sabine's shoulder as she attempted to get up. Kanan and Hera bantered a lot, but never really got into it, that he could ever tell. This had sounded and now looked as if it was going to be a first.

Once inside, Hera turned to face Kanan. "Ok, go ahead. Explain it to me. Why did you take a risk like that? Why set yourself up to stay behind in such a dangerous situation? Playing hero like that could get you...killed, you backrocket nerfherder!"

"Look—you don't know what we were dealing with. **I** still don't know what we're dealing with. These Inquisitors...I've never seen anything like them before. They tortured a kid. A kid, Hera! Just to find me. If they hadn't been trying to find me, then there's no telling what would have happened to Ezra—they would have killed him or...worse."

"That's exactly my point! You needed us out there. We're a TEAM. I don't leave people behind. Most of all, I don't leave **family** behind." Her green eyes flashed at him as she faced off. He could sense the worry and anxiety rolling off of her like an angry tide, smashing into him forcefully. "You're not on your own anymore, Kanan. I can't have you out there if you-"

"Hera—I can't lose everything again." Suddenly the words burst from him, loud enough that Zeb and Sabine had to have heard it. He lowered his voice to ameliorate his loud outburst. "I can't lose anyone again. Not you, not Zeb, not Sabine and not Ezra. I won't do it." His head was inclined and he seemed to be struggling to keep control of emotions that threatened him like dark water.

Suddenly everything became clear to Hera as she watched him. She brushed his shoulder with her hand, and he glanced up, startled. The struggle in his deep eyes was clear. She'd been angry at him taking what she thought was a fool-hardy risk, but she realized now that it wasn't that at all. She'd misread this situation. He'd been doing everything he could to make sure they survived because his greatest fear was losing them. Like he'd lost his master. Of course he'd been scared. This realization caused her anger to disintegrate.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "The idea of leaving you behind...of maybe losing you...scared me more than I wanted to admit. I'm sorry-"

Before she could react, he reached up in one swift movement and pulled her lips to his. All the emotion of the ordeal was caught up and communicated in that one simple act of kissing. When he finally broke from her, he fixed her with those deep water-colored eyes of his, full of contrite sorrow. "Hera...I'm sorry too. I felt...felt those dark side users. They were strong. We wouldn't have had much of a chance and all I could think of was getting you and the others to safety..."

"I understand. I understand now." Once again, it seemed as if the universe had taken pains to show her how fragile their lives were, and how any one of them could be lost at any moment. She buried her face against his chest, fighting tears.

"Guess I'm just gonna have to get better so we won't be in this situation again." She felt him kiss the top of her head, between her lekku and she snuggled into him.

They stayed that way for long moments, then Hera lifted her head, her eyes still glassy with a few unshed tears. She looked down, blinking as she tried to compose herself, and she caught sight of his burned sleeve.

"Off with it," she gestured to his shirt.

"I knew you couldn't wait to get me undressed again," he quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

"You really should have come back to let me tend to this." As she spoke she only heard a little tremble in her voice this time. He'd pulled off his armor earlier, but now Hera helped him remove the green sweater he wore. There was another of his athletic shirts on underneath, but she simply had to push up the short sleeve just a little to see the wound. It was a lightsaber wound, and the thick burn was extremely painful-looking.

"I was afraid to leave Ezra alone. I'm fine. Really." He raised an eyebrow at her, still trying to lighten her spirits. "We Jedi can resist pain anyway, so it's no big deal."

"Alright, Knight Jarrus. I don't believe a word. C'mon-let's get that patched up." She led him back toward his room, taking his hand. Zeb and Sabine both glanced up, but upon seeing Hera's hand fastened in Kanan's, they knew that everything was alright. With dual smiles, they both returned to the game of Dejarik that they had started.

When they entered Kanan's room, they saw that Ezra was still asleep, buried underneath the blanket. His hair was a dark mess against the pillow where his face was buried, and the soft sound of deep breathing reached them both.

"Sit." She whispered, taking up the med kit again. She knelt beside him and began to clean the burn wound. "So. Who were these redblades, as Zeb calls them?"

Kanan shook his head. "I don't know. But Hera, the Pau'an knew my Master...just from watching me fight...and he fought like a Jedi," Kanan was clearly troubled by this, "except he was strong in the dark side of the Force."

She nodded, taking it in and wondering what kinds of things these agents of the Empire were up to. Certainly they seemed to be interested in Force-sensitives like Ezra. She watched Kanan's eyes skim to the kid at her thought. "What is it?" She asked.

"Ezra. They..." He struggled for a moment to choose the best way to explain it to her. "The female Mirialan. She was able to find out information about us from his mind." He paused. "Ezra's not trained...he had no shields...no way to hold her off." He checked Hera's eyes for some level of understanding. "And she hurt him. I can feel the dark side on him."

A crease of worry formed on Hera's forehead. "You don't mean she somehow made him evil. . .like they are?" She whispered, looking at Ezra's sleeping form with worry in her eyes.

He shook his head. "No. I don't see that at all. It's more like she left a wound. The dark side clings to it like an infection. It…" He paused in frustration. "It's hard to explain. I don't have all the knowledge about it; I just heard such things described at the temple."

"What did they do in cases like this?" She replied.

He shook his head. "I don't know. Perhaps it will fade. They had healers at the temple, but my talents were in other areas. Maybe the holocron..." He glanced over to the bed and again examined Ezra's warm, but now subdued, sleeping presence in the Force. It was still muted by wisps of shade. He rubbed at his eyes, suddenly, feeling the fatigue of the day set in. He knew there must be something he could do for the kid, but it just wasn't coming to him.

Hera finished tying off the bandage on his arm. A spray hypo of antibiotic and she was done. "You need to rest. We'll both think better after some sleep."

He paused a moment before answering, blinking his eyes and trying to clear them. "What about Ezra?"

"We can all leave our doors open and listen out for him. C'mon." She finished packing up the medkit.

Kanan followed her out. Zeb and Sabine were still at the Dejarik table, but Sabine had her head propped on her hand, her eyes now heavy.

"Looks like we're not the only tired ones. Hey, you two, get some sleep," Hera suggested. "We're gonna be in hyperspace for a while yet. Help us listen out for Ezra?"

"Sure." Zeb said. "No worries. Everything okay?" He raised an eyebrow.

Kanan nodded, a tired smile on his own features. "Always. Hey...all that training paid off. You guys were good out there today."

"You too. I'd have you by my side in any fight." Zeb grinned back.

They all shared a moment of silent camaraderie before Kanan turned and followed Hera off to bed.

"See. Told you they'd be fine." Zeb nudged the sleepy teen with his elbow. She smiled at him, and he helped her hobble to her bunk. He held off on his own sleep just long enough to take a peek at Ezra, then followed their example and hit the pillows.


	29. Chapter 29

**READ FIRST! A/N: Two chapters in one night?! Wow. If you just clicked on this chapter, make sure u go back and start with chapter 28 because they were both posted tonight. I know it means that one of them will get less reviews than the other, but that's okay. Out of the two, this one's my favorite anyway. I wonder if you'll feel the same?**

* * *

29.

It wasn't a sound that had woken Kanan, but more of a feeling. He began to reach out with his senses and before he even opened his eyes, he knew it was Ezra. Everyone felt different in the Force. Most of the time, he tried not to read Force signatures because they could be incredibly distracting in their beauty, but he knew Hera's, Zeb's and Sabine's...and now Ezra's, it seemed, by heart. The Force-signature he had seen so brightly only nights ago, was now smaller and uncertain, no doubt shaken by what the kid had been through.

On the first night there had been no problems—Ezra was on some heavier painkillers and slept the dreamless sleep of exhaustion. The next night, however, he had woken up in fear, calling out for Kanan, who spent the rest of the night watching Ezra's sleep. During the days, Ezra shadowed Kanan as if he was afraid to let the Jedi out of his sight. Now they were on the last of several hyperspace jumps that would settle them in a quiet little niche near an asteroid belt for a few days of R&R. The holocron hadn't yielded many answers, but slowly, while meditating (as he'd begun to do more and more since Ezra), a strategy had begun to take form. He had planned to try it with Ezra the next day, but now it seemed like there was no time like the present.

He untangled himself from Hera slowly so as not to wake her, and then dressed in the dark before heading out of the room into the hallway.

The door to the cockpit was open, and Kanan could see Chopper near the pilot's seat, shepherding the ship through hyperspace while its crew tried to get some rest.

Except for the one of their crew who was not sleeping. Ezra was sitting in one of the chairs, curled into a small ball, his face turned toward the blue glow of the starlines.

"Ezra?" Kanan asked, reaching out to place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Um...It was hard to sleep…" He whispered in a soft voice, keeping his eyes fixed on the starlines as if afraid to look at Kanan. In truth, he had never gone to sleep at all, afraid of what he'd see when he did.

"Sometimes I come out here and look at the starlines too, when I can't sleep." Kanan said. They remained there a long time, while Kanan felt the ebb and flow of emotions from Ezra. The kid was unsettled.

Suddenly, Ezra startled him with a question. "Are you sorry you took me in?"

"What? No." Kanan turned Ezra to face him. The kid's eyes were shifting everywhere except where they needed to be. The former Jedi ran a hand through his loose brown hair in confusion. "Wait...why would you ask that? Ezra?"

The kid looked up when his name was called and it was clear there was something disturbing him. Here was the "wrong" feeling that had woken Kanan up. "T-the female Inquisitor...sh...she...said some things..." Ezra bit his bottom lip and looked down shaking his head slightly as if afraid to say more.

Kanan waited patiently to see if he would go on. When the kid didn't, he placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Sit down." Kanan gestured to the floor, then unconsciously folded himself into a meditation position. The kid, as if watching Kanan for direction, slid from the seat and did the same thing. "I was going to talk to you tomorrow about this but...now seems a good time." He searched the kid's solemn blue eyes, trying to find a way to start. "First of all, take a minute and explain why you might think that we were sorry we found you."

"The Inquisitor thought...she thought I was your student. She wanted to know...where you were. I didn't...t-tell her." The kid's eyes were luminous, huge and expressive in the glow of hyperspace coming from the viewport. "But she knew anyway. She was in my head, no matter what I did. She knew you were a Jedi...because of me. She said I would be a disappointment to you. That you wouldn't w...want a loth-rat like me."

Ezra was looking to him now, trying to gain an understanding of what had happened, and trying to figure out what to believe. It was clear the boy felt responsible for exposing them to danger, and that the Sister's mental assault on Ezra was the reason that, even now, Kanan could feel the residue of the dark side on the kid. Guilt. It was a path to the dark side that Kanan knew well. This kid should not have to travel that path. He mentally promised himself that the redblade would get what she deserved, if he ever saw her again, but time for that later. He gathered his attention once more and focused on the kid and the aura of swirling worry and doubt. The anxiety had a dulling effect to Ezra's brilliant light; it was as if Kanan could see the dark side feeding on the kid's insecurities. It sickened him, and he forced himself to quit looking into Ezra's Force signature. Instead he fixed himself on the kid's eyes.

"Ezra. Listen to me. There was nothing you could have done." Kanan said. "You can't blame yourself."

"She said you would all die...because of me." Ezra looked down when his blue eyes filled with tears. "I keep hearing it again and again and..."

Kanan shook his head, reaching to lay a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "And we're not dead. She lied. That's what the dark side is—lies." He paused, watching Ezra's reaction. The kid just looked at him with uncertain eyes. "Do you remember what I told you about the Force? About how the Jedi used it for honorable purposes and the others…the users of the dark side subvert the Force?"

Ezra nodded. "Those two...they were part of the dark side..." he murmured thoughtfully.

"Yes, both the Seventh sister and the Pau'an...they wanted to hurt you. But the light side is stronger than both of them." He cast about for the right way to begin. "Let me show you something. Close your eyes a moment and tell me what you see."

Ezra complied. After a long pause, he spoke. "It's...dark."

Kanan let out a snort of laughter, then apologized as Ezra started at the sound.

"What?" Ezra opened his eyes in surprise.

"You just remind me of...well, me as a youngling. Master Yoda used to say that I had a talent for stating the obvious." He used the warm memory to try to center himself so that he could help Ezra connect with the Force.

"Master Yoda was another Jedi? Your teacher?" Ezra's blue eyes searched Kanan's.

It was hard not to keep the flash of sadness from his expression. Master Yoda was long dead, he was sure. "Uh...yeah...one of many. Now, just close your eyes and breathe normally." Kanan closed his own eyes and was yet bombarded with more questions.

"What kinds of things did they teach you to do? Did you live in a Jedi Temple? How old were you when-"

Kanan opened his eyes and looked at the kid sitting before him, leaning forward avidly. Ezra had been through more than most kids his age. He'd lived through having his parents stolen and surely murdered by the Empire, living on the streets doing Force knew what to survive, being tortured at the hands of the Inquisitors…and here he was, curious and wide-eyed, about to take his first steps to learn more about the Force. It didn't escape his notice that this kid was very much like himself at this age. For a fleeting moment, he seemed to hear his master's soft laughter in the air around him. She had always enjoyed his questions and never seemed to tire of answering them. She would see and understand the irony here, and most likely be amused by it.

So, just like she would have, he found himself answering with a hint of amusement in his own voice. "Yeah. I lived in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant from a very early age. And to tell you everything I learned would take longer than we have. But I can SHOW you something that I learned if you'll just listen. Now close your eyes." He waited until Ezra had done as he'd been asked.

"Just breathe slowly. Search inside yourself for the Force. It's there, in every breath, every beat of your heart." Kanan closed his own eyes, feeling the swell of Force energy as he reached for it. The Force buffeted him with memories tonight, as he walked Ezra through one of the first exercises that he'd learned as a youngling. "Meditating will help you quiet your mind. It can help you when you feel troubled, it can increase your focus and your connection to the Force. First, reach out, extend your senses for the Force and center yourself within it. Do you feel it?" He sent a gentle brush of Force energy toward Ezra, but there was no need. The kid had found it easily.

Ezra nodded. "Wow. It's...it's amazing..."

"Find the center. Feel the Force around you and float within it. That's all you need to do right now, Ezra." He could see that Ezra's Force-signature was still tainted with the dark, but it seemed brighter than before. This would help the kid rest and heal, both physically and, more importantly, mentally.

"It's like the wind on Lothal. It comes and goes in waves." Ezra said wonderingly.

Kanan couldn't help the smile that twitched the corner of his mouth. He felt the wonder and awe from Ezra, reminding him of himself. Before Order 66, in better days. Instead of feeling the old familiar pain of his loss, he re-experienced the joy of discovery while watching Ezra's reaction to experiencing the full power of the Force. It was not the first time the boy had touched the Force, but the first time he'd consciously reached out to connect with its light. Just as before, the Force's approval sang to him in the very molecules of the air. _Yes, yes, yes_ , it seemed to say, revealing that this was right. Kanan could feel the certainty in the beating of his heart, the pumping of his blood...the feeling that his whole life had been leading him to this very moment in time.

"I can see the same light in you." Ezra whispered. His eyes were closed, but he'd lifted his face in Kanan's direction. "Wow. It's so bright..."

"Everyone has a presence in the Force, but you and I...and other Force-users look different in the Force. Brighter." He breathed, slowly, trying to retain his focus in the middle of this new sensation. It was easy to get caught up in the overwhelming joy that Ezra was experiencing. They remained that way for a long time, just floating in the warmth that was the Force. Finally, Kanan spoke. "When something troubles you, you can release it to the Force. You can let negative thoughts and emotions recede into its light."

"It's always there?" Ezra asked wonderingly. "Like this?"

"Yes, Ezra. It's always been with you." Kanan murmured with another smile which faded with his next words. "Now, Ezra...the redblades. They left their darkness behind in your thoughts, but you can push it away. Find those thoughts...those lies the sister told you. Let them go."

Ezra's focus narrowed and the horrible words she'd said...the way the female Inquisitor had forced herself into his mind…He tried to fling it into the warm winds of the Force that buffeted him softly. For a moment, he felt lighter. Clear. But then, he thought of everything he'd gone through. The worry that he'd let his new family down, the fear that Kanan would be killed, the pain in his body from the abuse at the Inquisitors' hands. All of the memories began to overwhelm him like a dark wave. "It's too much," he breathed. His breaths came faster and faster and his hold on the Force wobbled as the ocean of darkness began to crash down.

Kanan felt the wobble and reached out to the kid. "No, Ezra. Let it go...turn it loose."

"Can't." Ezra mumbled thickly, feeling his hold on the Force turn slippery and untrustworthy. He would be a failure, they almost died to save him. It was his fault...

"Feel the light within you, and hold onto that. You touched the shadow, but let it go. Push the dark side away." Kanan could sense the trouble Ezra was having and he began to reach out with the Force to help. "Ezra...come on, kid. Let the shadow go."

As Ezra looked at the deep warm Force-signature right beside him, he felt safety. Like a drowning swimmer, he latched on with everything he had.

"It's okay...it's okay." As Kanan allowed them to slip from the stream of Force energy that surrounded them, he opened his eyes to find that Ezra was in his arms, hugging him tightly. They stayed that way a long time until Ezra finally released him.

Words tumbled out. "Was that the dark side?" Kanan nodded in reply, as the kid sat back on his heels. "I couldn't...push it out of my thoughts. It was so strong."

"Maybe we shouldn't have tried to take all that on the first time." Kanan said thoughtfully, then focused on Ezra as the kid frowned. "I'm sorry."

"I was the one who failed." Ezra muttered.

"No. No, you didn't. It took me at least five lessons to hold onto the Force as well as you just did."

"You're lying to make me feel better..." Ezra said, with just a hint of hopefulness in his voice.

"No. I'm not. This is going to take practice. You'll get better quicker than you think." Kanan examined the kid's Force-signature again and saw that it looked brighter. "You won't have any more nightmares tonight, so come on. You need rest."

He got to his feet, then reached down for Ezra's good hand to pull him up. "We'll practice again," he said.

"Tomorrow?" Ezra asked.

"Sure." Kanan replied, again marveling at seeing the eagerness in Ezra's eyes. Again, there was his own past, reflected to him in the light that was this kid.

"What is it?" Ezra asked as Kanan led him back toward his room.

"Nothing important." Kanan reached out and gave Ezra's shoulder a squeeze, guiding him in the right direction.

Kanan saw Ezra to bed, said goodnight, turned the light off and headed back into the hall where he saw Hera leaning on the door to her quarters, waiting on him. She was dressed in a cropped shirt and sleep pants, and her lekku were bare without her pilot's cap; they draped over her shoulders and down her back gracefully. He couldn't help but smile when he saw her; her simple beauty reminded him of all he'd gained since coming on the Ghost.

"What happened?" Hera asked softly, holding out her hand for him, eyebrows raised.

"Huh? Just some stuff with the kid."

She tilted her head as if she'd heard something interesting there. "He okay?"

He followed her back into her quarters, lit by a small lamp over the bunk. "Yeah. Bad dreams. I was sort of showing him how to meditate...just some youngling exercises. Hey—no. Don't go getting any ideas."

Her brilliant smile as she settled herself back on her bunk made him narrow his eyes at her. "So you **were** training him?"

"Hera! I can't train this kid how to be a . . .Jedi. There's a million reasons that I shouldn't..."

She said nothing, but the smile remained on her face as she reclined on the bed.

"Look. I'm just showing him how to...how to get past what those sleemos did to him. That's all. Kid's a terrible student anyway. Asks too many questions."

"Yeah. I hear you." She said noncommittally. As Kanan laid back against the pillow, she rested her head on his chest, just watching him.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" She asked innocently.

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her. "Ezra is too old to be trained anyway. And I don't even know enough to know how to… this isn't working is it?"

She shook her head, smiling up at him. Then she grew serious. "Answer a question for me." She could almost sense the competing emotions in him. He was trying his best to talk himself down from agreeing to teach the kid, but there was a change in him. A feeling around him as if he'd made a decision or settled some great disagreement within himself.

"Sure."

"How did teaching him feel?" Her serious green eyes studied each expression that flitted across his face. "Did you feel like it was the wrong thing to do? Like you were leading him in the wrong direction?"

He shook his head. "N..no."

"Do you think that showing him...even a little of what you know would be detrimental or would it help him in the long run?"

"It's not that...I'm just..."

"What are you afraid of?"

He looked over at her finally. "Lots. Mainly, the past. I don't want him to make the same mistakes..."

"So make sure. Make sure he doesn't. I'm not trying to push you. Just consider it." She reached up to snap the light off.

"I will." He murmured, placing a kiss on her head. Again, the rightness of teaching Ezra flowed through his thoughts again. He wasn't going to jump into this, however. He would continue to show the kid how to meditate, and maybe how to shield himself from the type of probing the Mirialan had performed, but that was all. Ezra would probably lose interest anyway, as soon as he got over his injuries, both mental and physical. His last thought before he fell into sleep was that he could hear his Master's laugh once more and feel her approval as a tangible thing. At the comforting feeling, he wrapped an arm around Hera and settled into sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: This just started out as a one or two chapter thing and it went for 30 chapters. Wow. It's been the longest thing I've ever written and for that, I thank you, readers, because I don't know if I would have been as inspired to finish this as I was due to your many comments. (Oh and BTW—endings suck. It was very hard to write the end of this thing, but I hope it came off okay.) I might have one more chapter as sort of an epilogue, but I will let this sit a little before I try to write it. Again, thank you for all your support. It means everything.

Oh-and PS...I'm thinking about my next story already...I'd be glad to listen to suggestions(?) if you have any... I'm about to have a long break from school and lots of time to write...

* * *

30.

Ezra felt more than heard Hera and Sabine enter the ship sometime in the later morning. He'd been deeply immersed in his meditation practice and he found that he'd lost track of time, not sure if it was morning or afternoon. He stood up from where he'd been meditating and stretched out the kinks in his back, then he came out into the common area, blinking slowly as if he'd been asleep. His mind felt calm and focused, just the way Kanan had been telling him it would.

"Sabine, Zeb, will you secure that stuff in the cargo bay?" Hera's voice became louder as he heard the thump and movement of crates.

"You got it."

Hera brought the other crate into the kitchen area and began unpacking.

"Hey there." Hera called when she noticed him standing quietly by Kanan's quarters. The kid looked slightly dazed, as if he'd been asleep, but he smiled at her after a moment and came over.

"Hi." He walked over to her where she was packing away some fresh fruit and vegetables in the conservator. Ezra couldn't help reaching out before he caught himself and stopped, glancing in Hera's direction.

"Go ahead." Hera offered, waiting until he selected a very ripe Jogan. Hera had gotten fruit at varying stages of ripeness so that they would last and it would be a while before they had to break back into the ration packs again.

"Thanks." Ezra held the sweet fruit in both hands and took a bite. It was still strange to him to just have food at hand...in the past, he had either had to scrounge or steal to have something to eat. Just being able to eat whatever you wanted when you wanted took some real getting used to. Usually, there were times when he would forget to eat, unless Hera or Kanan reminded him. He was just so used to ignoring his hunger that he would get involved in some task and forget what time it was until he was starving and someone called him.

Hera shook her head at him and sighed with a smile. "Wash it first, Ezra." She watched as the kid went to the faucet and rinsed it off. Sometimes she worried about him. There was so much that he didn't know about the way of things. For instance, when Kanan had tried to get Ezra to help cook dinner, they found out that Ezra knew almost nothing about how to heat food, and even less about most of the appliances in the kitchen. Kanan hadn't made a comment, none of them had, but they had slowly started helping Ezra fill in the gaps. Hera planned to tackle doing the laundry with Ezra next week.

"Sorry...forgot." Ezra apologized, his mouth full. Washing off something before you ate it was a "new" rule and something he hadn't bothered with out on the street, but he supposed there was a certain logic to it.

Hera smiled at him in reply. Most of his injuries had already healed, and Hera had allowed him to take the splint off last week. His bruises were about gone, and the cut on his lip had faded into a slight scar that would fade with time. He still spent a lot of time following Kanan around, but had grown closer to Zeb as well. As he had healed up, he'd moved permanently into the extra bunk in Zeb's room, and the two got along most of the time, and when they didn't, a stern word or two from Hera or Kanan was enough to get them back in line.

"How are you feeling? I didn't see you before we left, but we left kind of early." Hera asked, taking a container of berries and putting them in the conservator.

"I'm good. Zeb and Kanan said they were going to teach me how to fight...like they taught Sabine. They were waiting for you to give the okay about my arm..." He looked up at Hera hopefully as he took another bite.

She raised an eyebrow with an amused smile on her face. "I guess it will be okay. Tell them to take it easy on you though. I don't want you re-injuring yourself." He nodded and once done with his Jogan, he began to help her put away the food.

As they finished up, Hera asked a cautious question. "How are things going with you and Kanan? I know you two have been meditating together."

"Yeah." Ezra let out a sigh, leaning back against the counter.

"So...it's kinda hard to tell what that means..." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, okay. It IS pretty interesting. Kanan said I did well, but I need to focus more. That's probably true. I've been trying to practice on my own, some. Oh, and Kanan showed me how to shield my thoughts from Force-users like the redblades. He's a good teacher..."

"But?" Hera supplied the missing word.

"Well, I want to learn how to do other stuff too. So I'll be better able to fight the Empire...like you and Zeb and Kanan do. I asked him if he would teach me more, and he just...went quiet. I could sense his emotions and I think I made him sad or maybe he was angry that he was sad…it was hard to tell. I don't think he's still upset about it, but...I feel bad that I said the wrong thing..." He looked down, studying the floor moodily.

Hera reached out and squeezed Ezra's hand. "Ezra, love. I don't think you could have said anything wrong. Kanan….well, it's complicated. You already know he was a Jedi..."

Ezra nodded. "He's talked some about being a padawan, but not a lot. He always turns the conversation to something else."

Hera searched Ezra's earnest face. How could she explain this without giving too much away? She, herself, hadn't even come close to untangling the complicated knot that was Kanan. "You're familiar with what happened to them, the Jedi, I mean?"

Ezra nodded solemnly. "The Empire killed them all. It must have been awful for him. Like losing your family. I know how that feels."

They were very similar, Hera realized. Actually all of them were. The Empire had taken something from all of them and left them all orphans of a sort. "Yeah, I think it was a lot like that. Kanan was able to escape, but he's been hiding all this time, Ezra, hiding from the Empire, hiding the fact that he can use the Force, hiding from his past...trying to forget what happened to everyone he ever knew. It was hard on him and I imagine that being around you, another Force-user, might bring up a lot of memories for him. There's a lot more to this story, but it's not my story to tell." She paused, checking Ezra's eyes for understanding. "He's coming around, though, Ezra. Just be patient with him. And don't stop asking questions. Your curiosity is bringing him around."

"Okay," he promised with a heavy sigh.

"He thinks a lot of you, Ezra." Hera mentioned as they got up. "And the rest of us feel the same..." she said with a smile. Before she knew it, Ezra had flown into her and given her a hug almost quickly enough to knock her over. She returned it just as tightly. He was a good kid. Hera desperately wished they could have taken Ezra in earlier. He didn't deserve to have struggled like he had out on the streets. "Hey, Kanan said he might take a walk earlier today, before you got up. Why don't you go see if you can track him down and let him know I'm making lunch."

"Thanks, Hera." Ezra nodded. The hug was over far too soon, she thought, as she watched him go. She could hear him talk to Sabine in passing before he reached the cargo ramp and headed out.

* * *

It had still been early when Kanan had slipped out of the ship to take a walk. They had been in space for a while, and it was nice to get out and breathe real air, instead of the scrubbed air on the ship. He'd offered to go with them to the market, but Zeb had already offered to go and Hera said she had all the help she needed with the Lasat and Sabine. Their next job for Fulcrum was tomorrow, and she knew he was a little keyed up. It would be their first mission since the redblades and their first job with Ezra.

He had to admit that he wasn't that worried about the kid. In devising a strategy, he'd put Ezra and Sabine in as lookouts, and they'd be away at a safe distance while he, Hera and Zeb met the contact. They were to exchange some stolen Imperial sensors for a list of prisoners that Fulcrum had some interest in. Seemed easy enough, but Fulcrum's jobs hadn't always come off as planned, Kanan thought with a wry twist of his mouth.

The Force seemed to lay quiet in the early morning, a sign that nothing was amiss. It was just as if it was waiting, like a held breath. He'd walked a pretty big circle around their landing area and had ended up sitting under some sort of deciduous tree native to the planet. It had deep green three lobed leaves which whispered when the wind blew, and it had been a comfortable spot where he could sit and still see the _Ghost_ , where Ezra still slept.

His thoughts had been heavy, ever since last night, but not over the impending mission. He had been working with Ezra on building up his shields to protect him from another mental attack from anyone like the redblades. The kid was inexperienced, uncoordinated with the Force, but he was getting better with Kanan's guidance.

He _had pushed, lightly at first, trying to breach Ezra's newly formed shields. Ezra had pushed back and the ebb and flow of the Force between them went on for a while until he felt Ezra give way. He had immediately pulled himself back; the intention had been to test Ezra's shields to their breaking point, but not to intrude upon him like the Mirialan had._

 _Kanan had given Ezra a moment's reprieve. "Again," he had said, pushing against Ezra's mental defenses._

 _They did three more rounds, and for each time, Ezra was able to hold out longer and longer. The last time, Ezra had pushed back hard, trying to take Kanan by surprise._

 _When Ezra did push back, he must have gotten the full sense of Kanan's shields, which were strong. If they had been tangible, they would have been all plasteel and duracrete—imposing towering barriers, dark and forbidding. He had immediately pushed Ezra out, hard, but without meaning to. It was a sort of knee-jerk reaction, embedded to automatically protect him if someone with Force-abilities tried to probe his mind._

" _I didn't mean to do that." He reached out to Ezra to steady him. "You alright?"_

 _Ezra had stared up at him, eyes wide. "Wow, has anybody ever gotten through your shields? They're so strong."_

 _He'd smiled, a little sadly. "I've just had a long time to work on them, Ezra..."_

It **had** taken him a long time to build up those walls.

 _You've got to stop running sometime._ Hera's voice.

He closed his eyes, and laid his head back against the cool bark of the tree as he remembered Hera's words. He had to quit running from his past. In all ways. It was true. This hesitation in teaching Ezra...wasn't it just another form of running? She was right about teaching the kid, like she was usually right about everything else. She'd love it if he admitted that. The thought made him grin.

But Force above...he couldn't help the ocean of doubt that threatened. He'd just barely kept his head above water since he'd been on his own. He had stepped off the light's path many times, always just barely finding his way back before he gave up for good. Each time when it seemed the darkest, something had always pulled him to the right side. Had it been so that he would be here at the right time? He knew he had changed, but had he changed enough to take on the responsibility of a ...what? A padawan? It was laughable. His mind flashed to his own master, Depa Billaba. He could see her wise, noble profile in his mind's eye...the Lesser and Greater Marks of Illumination on her brow. She would be amused by his still-questioning nature. Compared to her, he was. . .at the least a disappointment, at the worst…something he didn't want to contemplate. He felt the dark ocean threaten again.

 _Your path is not the same as mine, Caleb._

He looked for the source of the voice, but there was nothing except the whispering of the wind in the leaves.

"Master?" He breathed, closing his eyes and bowing his head to focus while ignoring the sting of tears in his eyes. The past swirled around him-a mist of color and sound. Then...

A memory gripped him from bygone days. The aftermath of the Third Battle of Mygeeto. His master's words once again, as if they were both still standing on that ruined walkway. He could still feel the tiredness in his muscles, the dust in the air, the look on his master's face and the flash of the Force, showing him the future, incomprehensible to the young boy that he had been.

 _There will be loss—inevitable loss, painful loss. But that must not prevent the true Jedi from taking risks...from surrendering oneself to a higher purpose._

Her loss had haunted him for years and had kept him from his higher purpose. He saw his master's smile as she had told him that he would understand one day. Did he truly understand now? He could see that knowing smile on his Master's face and, suddenly, the questions of his heart were settled. Training Ezra was the path he was meant to take. The Force had been leading him to this all along, he had just refused to see it. He would do his best to train Ezra to be a Jedi. He would use his master's teachings, but they would have to make their own uncertain path in the dark universe where the Empire now ruled.

The satisfaction of the Force at his decision seemed to overwhelm him and calm him at the same time. He opened his eyes to see Ezra, who at some point had sat down beside him. He hadn't felt the kid's approach, and apparently, sensing he was meditating, Ezra had decided that instead of disturbing him, he would join him.

"Ezra." He said softly, not wanting his voice to be jarring to the kid.

Ezra opened his eyes at once, sensing something serious in Kanan's voice. Maybe Kanan was mad at being disturbed? "H-hi. I waited a minute, but you were meditating so..."

Kanan nodded, amazed at how clearly he could sense the eager, yet anxious emotions in the boy. He realized that over the past few days of practice, they'd clearly forged a Master-Padawan bond. Unable to see it before, he saw it now with clearer eyes. "Ezra—there's something we should talk about."

Ezra shifted uncomfortably on the grass, turning so he was facing Kanan. "O..ok. Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Kanan could feel Ezra's worry increasing and spoke quickly to allay his fears. "You had asked me the other day about teaching you more of what it means to be a Jedi, so that you could help fight the Empire. You've had no shortage of questions...and I know I was not very forthcoming with answers. That was a mistake. If you really do want to learn the ways of the Force, I will teach you all that my master taught me."

Ezra's first reaction was to yell with joy, but he held it in and just nodded. "Wait...a-are you sure?" Another thread of worry shot through him and communicated itself to Kanan through the bond.

Kanan nodded sending back reassurance, a smile on his features. He reached out and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "I'm sure, padawan."

Ezra looked up, fixing Kanan with his wide blue eyes. "I'll do my best to live up to your expectations."

"I know you will, Ezra." He slipped his hand up to ruffle Ezra's hair, and wasn't surprised when Ezra flew into his arms, the kid's emotions swelling through their bond.

He didn't mind returning the hug. It suddenly came to him that as old as Ezra was, the seven year old child he'd been when he'd lost his parents was still there inside, just as Caleb Dume still rested in his own heart. The realization made him hug Ezra more tightly for the both of them.


End file.
